Life is going to hell.

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The last 6 months+ things have been great. Family was getting along, friends were happy, school was going good. Everything was FINALLY looking up for me. I figure, great. Stuff is finally going okay.

Tell recently. The last month or so I've noticed things declining. My dad always pissed off at me. My mom not listening. My sister annoyed with me. I thought, no big deal, I can move out when I'm 18 and they don't have to see me again. Now, my own friends are turning against me. Two of them are to busy to ever talk to me, yet still try to get my answers for HW and such. One thinks I'm talking about her behind her back. She is like my best friend, I would never do that to her! So, she isn't really talking to me (And that kills me.. I really care for her and now she does this.) She is trying to get a BF and I'm afraid that will kill me even more, because she will spend most of her time with him. My best male friend and is always with his GF. My other friends are always to busy getting stoned to do anything else. So I don't really hang with them to much. Thats it, I have no one else. My internet friends are better then my life friends or atleast it seems that way. CR is always there for me, or atleast when he can. But thats it. I'm becoming alot more like.. self reliant. I figure my friends can't be there, so I have to be there for myself. Even a girl I know who doesn't have many friends and doesn't do much is ignoring me! I asked her how come she doesn't talk to me she said she just doesn't know what to say. I will be talking about EVERYDAY things and she does that. Do I not speak english? Am I that fucking boring to talk to? I'm not high all the time. Thats what I do on my own time on my own. I don't talk about it all the time. They talk about there partying WAY more then I talk about weed. So WTF? I'm getting pretty suicidal. And to make it worse, usually by the time I type this all out, I feel 10x better, but I dont this time. :confused: Sorry, I'm just venting. Wasting your time. Wait, I waste everyones :smirk:

I can definetly relate. I've come to the realization that all we have in the world is ourselves. Friends, family, relationships are just additions. Once that's realized, you don't feel so dependent on humans. Atleast that's how I feel.Your best girl friend shouldn't assume you're talking about her behind her back. You need to confront her and tell her that she needs to trust you -- like friends do, and that you would never talk badly about someone as important as her. Judging from your posts, you seem like a generally happy person. I could be wrong, but it seems that way. Don't let it bring you down, and the last thing you want to become is suicidal. Been there, done that. No fun. Trust me.Give it some time and things should be fine.

Your not wasting our time. Don't ever think that. This is what we are here for. Feel free to talk about what ever you want, no-one is going to judge you.

How many times have I seen you complain on this forum in my entirety spent here?! I'm sorry, but I'm going to give you a quote from Final Fantasy. This is it! Now's the time to choose. Now's the time to shape your stories. Either fight on and live with false hope, or live, and fight your sorrow. - Auron Final Fantasy X

Someone plays too much Final Fantasy.

Out of my close group (7) 3 of us do it. The other 4 drink. I was looking at everything really close today (Friends) There changing. I've always been the 'mature' one (Maybe part of the reason I dont have fun.. haha) I think there all finally maturing more. They have always been mostly mature, but I was always a little more. They would say.. Lets go leave school.. I would come up with several reasons why that was stupid. I think things out to much. But, I'm not saying thats bad. It is for having a good time, but really its helping me. I don't get in much trouble at school (I havn't gotten in any trouble since my freshman year, and that was me telling the teachers what I thought) So, in the long run, I think my friends will get kinda settled in with the higher maturity level and kinda level out.

I found a way to help depression. I showed up this morning and had this 'fuck it' type of depression attitude. Instead of just sitting there all day, I worked 10x harder on school work. It helped alot. People thought I was crazy for writing long, well thought out explantions to each question, but it helped me. Also makes me look good to the teacher :grin: So, I'm out. Keep my mind off of everything by working on my homework. Oh no, I'm using school work as a drug now :confused: :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

In reply to:

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Oh no, I'm using school work as a drug now

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Some people find it can be a very good escape mechanism.

"My sadness? What do I have to be sad about? I am the chosen one.""What about MY sadness!? My family... friends... The sadness of having my hometown taken away from me!? It's the same as your sadness!"Ah, a great game it is.

Hey, it's good that you're exercising that energy toward your school work. I find myself doing the same thing, studying harder and keeping my nose in a book or something to learn about when I'm feeling down. Maybe we have somewhat the same coping mechanism.

Sadly, when I'm in my low points, the last thing I want to concentrate on is school work. I envy those who can use the depression to work harder in school and forget about everything else. It's partially why I'm not doing so hot in school -- my mind wanders off to all my worries.You're luck, Fab.

Hee hee, thanks websexinfo. I love that quote from Auron, it really can help you in tough times. Also, FabMX, I like to do homework when I'm feeling down, keeps me secluded in my room. Also, if I'm done that, I'll just go brain-dead on video games!!! I'm stuck on FFX right now, on the last boss fight with Sin, so that's going to be taking up some homework time....

My depression took a back seat. Maybe even the trunk :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

My girl friend's sister left for college, and she is depressed and her family (Step dad and her real mom) are being total dicks to her. Its really getting to her. As I go on, I find that her other friends don't try to help at all. I'm now 100% focused on her problem. Finding out differn't counsuling things she can do and such.

Sense I've been dealing with that, I've been thinking what I want to do with life. I'm thinking computers/buisness. Everything has been clear since I got busy. Im dealing with that school's store (And I LOVE buisness type things.. so that is always on my mind) I'm trying to help my friend out. So, I found that staying busy helps so much. Being ivolved in other things. I feel better when I feel I'm on a 'Professional level' It just makes me happy. So my drugs are school and buisness. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

I'm still smoking cannabis, I smoked last night, but I refuse to spend money on it for awhile. Only reason I did last night is because someone gave me some. But I want to smoke on a 'professional level' (No not more) just not like I have in the past. I don't want to make it a weekly, or monthly expesnse anymore, so its not going to be.

I thought this was going to be another bad school year, but everything is working now. I havn't felt down all day. Focused on helping my friend, my school work and that buisness stuff.

That is very good to hear Fab.I was feeling down in the dumps not too long ago and then I found out that my sister may be getting a divorce. Since then I've been concentrating on making it easy for her to be independent unlike what she was doing when she had a husband. Had to worry about dinner on the table, had to let him know where she was, etc. I live with her but I make myself independent as well so in a way I'm just a person in the house paying rent and at the same time someone she can talk to when she needs it. So in a way, the concentration on someone else's problems has changed perspective of your own problems. It may even make you forget about them somewhat.Keeping busy and having that 'professinal' type of power is definitely something I get almost a high off of. Telling people what to do, when it needs to be done, and having them listen and execute is so fulfilling. It's almost as if they're taking my advice on a situation and doing it the way I told them to. Now that is power.I can really relate to your last post Fab. I'm very pleased to hear the good news.

I'm very very glad to hear this good news, FaBMX!

Great... She thinks she has resolved her problems, so she doesn't need me anymore. I also basicly got 'turned down'.. Again I'm not doing so good right now, but I will be fine in the morning. Keep focused on buisness and school

:confused:

What did she consider you? A therapist rather than a boyfriend? That's pretty low of her. It'll all be good though, keep your head up. :grin:

Not like stop talking to me, just doesn't need my help. She thinks she has it figured out, but I'm still looking into other options she can use if hers doesn't work out(She doesn't know I am).. I woke up fine.. had a good day. I guess I get depressed when I get home. Its okay tonight tho, I have a quite a bit of homework I can do But, I'm already pissed off at my mom. She is acting like a bitch!