For the last couple months I've been feeling really bad about my race. I never thought much about it before I met my ex. It was an interracial relationship -- my ex is white and I'm Egyptian with fairly tan skin. I recall a time when he mentioned his preference to white/blonde girls. It didn't bother me because many men prefer this type. Although, it did make me feel a little conscious about my own race. We were deep into the relationship but it failed because of unknown causes. A couple weeks after our breakup, (we were friends before we got together, and we're still friends now), he began telling me about a girl he spent a lot of time with and when I asked who she was, the first thing he said was “oh, she’s a blonde girl.” I immediately took our breakup as a racial thing, although I know that's dumb. I’m still in love with him, have been for almost a year and a half. And as a result of this, lately I've been wishing I was white, had blonde hair, blue eyes. It seems as if since I’m of a foreign race, I’m automatically judged as “dumb” or a “fob” by people who don’t know me well.And since I've been having these feelings, I've noticed mostly every commercial that comes on, the speaker is white. Reality shows, news shows, sitcoms and all in general have mostly nothing but white people. Normally, something like this would seem completely natural to me, but ever since our breakup, things like that have pissed me off. Whenever a blonde girls walks by, I feel stinging jealousy. It bothers me because I don’t want to feel this way.. I’ve never felt this way before and I don’t have anything against white people. Infact, most of my friends are white. What should I do about this?
Feeling bad ...
I understand how you feel. I have a thing for white females and I get passed up a lot because they're not attracted to asian guys. It doesn't help that I live in Georgia and a lot of these girls think themselves as "southern belles" with accents walking around with their cowboy hats. lol. Some of them are cool about interracial dating but most aren't.Don't feel bad about yourself. I don't know how tall you are, but let's just say you're short for this example... If the man you were in love with had a fetish for tall girls then started dating a tall girl after you then you'd probably start wishing you were tall. So this may extend beyond race.
Lol, sounds like you have it worse than I do.
It's reassuring to know it most likely has nothing to do with race. That's a weight off my shoulders.
Yes. I think I may want to move out to Cali when I finish my education.