How to tell my dad I dont like him

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Okay. I don't like my dad. Straight up. I can't talk to him without him getting pissed off. He doesn't like to listen to me. I can't do anything right in his eyes and my grades are never good enough, so I've came to the conclusion that I dont like my father and plan to stop talking to him as soon as I move out or go into the military. He is like this and doesn't even know I smoke weed. haha. But I'm suppoed to clean his vehicle for 'expenses' (cell phone, insurance) and do whatever my mom says. I havn't washed it in awhile because its been raining so he took away my phone. I don't care. No one calls me anyways. Tonight, he wanted to talk to me outside. When he said outside, I figured his first words were going to be "Why the fuck are you smoking weed" but they wern't. What he basicly told me is he doesn't know how to be a father and he only knows how to yell. Then he went on about how he had to work for everything he has, since he was a kid. But towards the end he basicly said he doesn't have a clue on how to talk to me. Told me he doesn't understand why I wont take any of the jobs he offers me (At his work). Then at the end he said this "Have anything to say? replies?" I go nope, and he got pissed off and walked away. I wanted to tell him "Dad, I really dont like you. Your a total dick to me and make me feel like shit. The reason I wont take that job is because I dont want to be around you. The reason I dont hunt is because I dont want to be around you. The reason I dont go without unless your force me is because I dont want to be with you" If I was to have said that, he would have probably kicked me out on the spot, so I couldn't. I dont know what to do. I have my mom telling me I need to see a counselur at school because of my 'ideas'. I'm depressed off and on. Now, when I'm depressed, I have this really overwelming guilt, but whatever. My dad seems to want me to tell him how to be a father. What should I do with him? Leave it the way it is or tell him what I really think? -Thanks

It seems to me that your father was reaching out and admitting that he has a hard time being a good father to you. That he doesn't know how. Perhaps he was trying to bridge the gap. You just told him to "Fuck off" (with your reaction). I don't see how you telling him that you hate him is going to help.

Thats the thing. He thinks I like to spend time with him or something. I don't. I dont like being around him. Nothing is fun with him. He makes everything miserable and so serious.

I don't know what he would have done if I told him how he makes me feel. His first reaction is always: Yell, act like a bad ass, then punish.

He doesn't think simply talking to someone works for some reason. He did today, but. I don't know. I've never really 'talked to him'. I mean, I've had daily conversations, but he has never sat down and took the time to find out whats going on in my life.

If I do have something to say, he just ignores me and continues to do whatever he is doing on the computer, unless it relates to something he likes.

I don't know. I'm thinking about talking to that conselur lady at my school that knows me. I'm just afraid I will go in there and say the slightest thing wrong and have her getting the Resource Officer (Cop) in their and taking me out at gun point and taking me directly to a hospital. If that happen, I would lose it and kill someone. Seriously. If that went down, I would end up killing someone.

Here is whats going on in my head (Dont attack me for this, I'm just stating what goes on in my head) : I think death is funny. I think about killing people, and it makes me feel happy. I see no point in life what so ever. I figure you bust your ass to die. I look forward to whats next. I think this entire world is fucked and that someone should hurry up and start a nuclear war. I feel guilty for no reason. A strong guilt feeling. It makes me feel like total shit. I have this like total hate for all humans. If I see a person get hit by a car, I laugh. If I see a dog or cat or whatever, I feel so bad. I like respect animals more then people, yet I dont like them around me. I get pissed off when an animal likes me. I feel so guilty when they do. It just fucks me up. If I yell at one of are dogs or something, I start feeling like total shit. Sucide is nothing to me anymore. I used to get upset when I thought about it, but not anymore.

Thats whats going on in my head. If your going to attack me for what I'm not in control of, don't bother posting. I don't want to tell the lady at school that and have her go crazy. I mean, I'm sure to a normal person they would think I need to die, which I dont disagree with. I almost wish a semi would hit me head-on and get rid of me. But their is always this little hope that things will get better. But they never seen to.

Sorry for the long post.

You and your father both have problems getting on with the world. If you're going to live together you'll both have to work at it. He is trying - you should too. You can't make yourself like him - your personalities are too different, or perhaps in some respects too similar. But you can try to meet him halfway. A nicer way to say "Dad, I really dont like you, etc" is "Dad, our personalities are too incompatible for us to work together".You say, "I'm sure to a normal person they would think I need to die"; but I don't want you to die. I want you to be respected.

you sound like one of those 10 y.olds who want to join the army to shoot guns and kill people. grow up. get some friends.

Im tired of you. Why dont you shut up?

Yeah. I just know how he is. You try to tell him he is wrong or something he did was wrong, and if he thinks he is right, he gets so pissed off. I wanted to tell him last night what I thought and the things he does that upsets me (Like ignore me) but, I didn't. I need to see a counselur. I was talking to my mom and this is the 3rd day I've told her I was fucked up in the head. I think I'm about go in their and straight up tell her "Mom, I've been on the verge of killing myself for 3 years. I've hinted enough, I've shown enough signs. Mom. I need help." If she comes up with BS, I think I might set my dad down tonight and tell him whats going on. Maybe because we dont get along, he might see a problem their and take the appropiate steps, unlike my mom which I get along with real well. Part of me wants to tell my mom this and part of me just wants to tell my dad this. Hell, maybe if I saw a counselur and got some of this shit worked out, we might get along better? Which one do you think is better? Dad or Mom? I don't know how I'm going to have this conversation. I guess just tell him. So, unless someone tells me differntly, I think I'm going to tell my dad.

Sorry about my last post. I just basicly had a conversation with myself, but I needed to. Sorry.

No need to apologise for the post. Sometimes talking to someone is the best way to work things out yourself.It's almost always pointless to tell someone they are wrong straight out, because they don't like to admit it to themselves, and will never admit it to someone else. You have to do it sneakily, in a way that they don't lose face.I think it would be good to tell both your parents. They both need to be in the know, and it will reinforce the message.

Yeah, but I've told my mom I was depressed, just told me its 'normal' and that I'm fine. So, I dont think thats working. I don't know how I will tell my dad this. I keep trying to like 'work myself up' to it. I keep thinking about what exactly I will tell him. Then I think it just sounds stupid and I shouldn't do it at all. I think I'm a little better dealing with someone one on one. Am I right to tell my dad I've been depressed since my freshman year and that I've had thoughts of sucide and that I want to hurt random people for no reason? What if he asks me if I've attempted sucide? Should I tell him I have. It seems the message isn't getting through to my mom, but maybe my dad can. How will he respond? I mean, he is kind of a redneck, prick type of guy. One thing I dont want to lose if I do get treated is my marijuana. I enjoy the thinking I have while I'm high. I like to do it, and I dont want to lose it. I dont want to tell them (counselur or whatever) I smoke weed and end up in rehab, because I dont have an addiction problem. I havn't smoked since saturday, and I'm doing just fine. Its what I like to do on my spare time. You know what I'm saying? So, am I doing the right thing by telling my dad this, or am I totally fucking up?

Is it normal to start thinking you dont really have a problem when your about to tell someone?

Yes, it's perfectly normal to feel that way, to want to let sleeping dogs lie. But you know something needs to be done.I think it might be necessary to let your dad know you have attempted suicide. That shows you are serious. It's too easy for people, when they hear a message they don't want to hear, to discount it like your mother does. You need to show them that things really are serious and their action really is necessary.Don't mention the marijuana at all.

Alright. I think I'm ready. He is home now, but he just grabbed a bucket, so I'm assuming he is going to wash his truck. He didn't say a word to me.

Well, its getting to the time of day I wanted it to be. Night. So, I'm about ready to tell him we need to talk and go outside. I hope thats the right approach. For some reason, the song 'Lose yourself' by Eminem keeps popping into my head. Feet fail me not. Success is my only mother fucking option, failures not.

Good luck!

I did it. Told him straight up I was depressed and had been for 3 years. I told him I just can't deal with it anymore. He asked me why and I explained to him that it just happens. Tell more later

Congratulations

He like understood. He asked me if I want to see a phychritrist (SP?) and I told him I thought I should and he said okay, he would look one up, or see the steps. He said I've taken a step in the right direction and its not my fault. Asked me if I wanted my mother involved at all, and I said if she knows about me going, thats fine. Told me I should have came to him alot sooner then I did. Also said its probably his fault because he has never spent alot time with me. We talked for a solid hour. I don't know. He basicly came forward with me and told me he has fucked up alot. He actually hugged me. Something we havn't done in a 1 1/2 - 2 years. Maybe this is one of the better things I have done.

What you did was brave, and it looks like it really helped. I think your dad just has a problem coming forward on these sorts of things, and what you did may help to bridge the uncomfortableness (is that a word? lol) between you two. You should be proud man, things like that take guts.

Walk up to him and say."I dont like you! not one bit! Amscray!"