Just friends - No such thing?

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What changes in the teen years that destroys a close friendship with the opposite sex?When I was younger I had a very very close female friend (I'm talking about when I was 10), we used to hug each other, hold hands and even kiss(she was my first) but it was all just a sign of our close friendship. When people saw us, they just thought "awww, thats so cute". I'm now 17. A few weeks ago I went to the cinema with another female friend of mine who I am (or was at the time) very very VERY close to. As we were walking through the lobby we were holding hands, just us expressing our friendship and nothing more. A guy from school was there at the time and saw me. The next day in school he came up to me and asked me if I was going out with her. I told him that I wasn't, but he didn't believe me. No matter how I tried to explain to him that we were just friends, he just said, "yeah right".Now, I'm not one who considers anybody elses opinions of me in any way important, but the fact that he, and the large group of people that he told, didn't believe that I could hold hands with a girl who is just a really good friend. Now, after a while I almost forgot about it all, but today I was talking to the girl that he was at the cinema with and she also asked if I was going out with her, and when I said no, you'll never guess, she didn't believe me, nor did anybody else in the room who overheard the conversation.After that long explanation of my situation, my question is this:Why can't a guy and a girl be very close without being accused (which I was) of going out with each other? Why is it so hard to believe that two people can care a lot about each other but not be bf and gf? This annoys me so much cause when I was 11, it was perfectly fine, now, only 6 years later, it is impossible to comprehend.It also annoys me a lot because all of these comments about us being too close to be just friends hit very hard and now she has backed off a lot. I miss having my friend so close to me almost all the time and I fear that I may never get my friendship back.

You are giving out conflicting messages, and thats why people keep asking if you two are going out. Would you hold hands with your male friend to "express your friendship and nothing more"? If I saw a boy and girl holding hands at the movies I'd assume they were a couple too.I doubt something this petty will ruin your friendship. Continue to tell people the truth, and if they don't believe you, fuck em'. Just give her some time, she'll come around, and your friendship shouldn't change.

I've done things like that and people always have to ask. It is especially affected when the body language between two people indicate something. I agree with lady powerpuff when she said just keep telling the truth. In time things will die off. And if you two lose your friendship over something like this, then maybe it wasn't worthwhile in the first place.

I don't know, but i would also think you were going out with a girl if you were that intimate. I mean its not the fact you guys are friend. Its just how much you guys touch...most friendships don't involve holding hands..mostly just hugs and stuff.They think you're dating because how CLOSe you are...I see its practically like you're dating. people think its one of those SHHH! relationships. Where you try not to let people know.Rumours would clear up, try to ignore them even though they're hard to....

In reply to: Would you hold hands with your male friend to "express your friendship and nothing more"? very good point.i'd would also assume that two people holding hands would be a couple, because in my society, -its only something that couples do. In reply to: What changes in the teen years that destroys a close friendship with the opposite sex? emotions and them not being reciprocated

In reply to: Would you hold hands with your male friend to "express your friendship and nothing more"? Well, no - before I explain my reason, please don't confuse it as being in any way homophobic. It has never really been "acceptable" for two guys to hold hands, at any age. Atleast it isn't where I live. I honestly am not against gay people in any way, my uncle is gay and he is one of my favourite relations, not to mention one of the funniest. So, no, I wouldn't hold hands with a close male friend unless we were making a joke or if we were with an extremley homophobic person , but in all honesty how many straight guys would?This wasn't the only part of our close friendship that collapsed in on itself, but it was the most public.

The line of relationships has been erased in my opinion. Before there was a line drawn between friendship and love relationships, but now it's hard to tell. I personally don't kiss or hold hands with my guy friends even though we are really close. Whenever I do have a really close relationship with a guy friend, they think I want to be more with them...so I refrain from being touchy feely with them in any way. If I were in that type of situation where I was always flirting, kissing, and holding hands with a close guy friend...i would eventually get jealous of him showing affection to any other female besides me.

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> Well, no - before I explain my reason, please don't confuse it as being in any way homophobic.
> ... but in all honesty how many straight guys would?
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this is the point, its not 'acceptable' for guys to do that **unless they are gay** , -as deemed by society.
also deemed by society, its not 'acceptable' for a guy / girl to hold hands, unless they are going out
you seem to be so suprised that people dont believe you two were only friends
would you also be suprised that if you held hands with your guy friends that they would believe you are not gay? probably not!
i'm not saying you have to conform to society's "normalaties," but understand that when you go against the grain like you are, people will think these things

Thanks guys, I was just curious as to why it was so unbelievable. And everyone should stop being so darn smart!! Its hard to argue against really good points! lol

I don't see anything wrong with holding hands with a really close friend. Of course I'm a touchy feely type of person, I draw comfort from touching the people around me (holding hands, hugging, touching someone's shoulder, ect..). All through high school people concidered me bisxual (which I'm not, I'm strait) because I always held hands with one of my guy friends or with my bestfriend Asia. Just because I hold hands with someone in public doesn't mean we're together. Of course people in society today will think you are. Nothing you can really do about it. Hopefully you're friendship with this girl will work out for you.

Thanks, I'm also a very touchy feely kinda person, I feel that my friendships become closer when I get physically closer, it all becomes more personal.

i don't see how people can do that without developing feelings for that other person...but I guess that's just me. I dunno, I'm not a very touchy feely person.

Well, getting so close I do develope feelings for them, but I just see them as being part of the friendship, I never act upon them because a friendship is a lot more stable than a relationship. I love her and although I wouldn't say no to being more, it is, and hopefully will always be, enough that we are friends.

I sometimes end up having feelings for my friends but I never act on them unless they feel the same as me, and even then I sometimes don't. I mean I'd rather have a very close friends than to have a fling that could ruin it all.

bobalicious, heres a simple answer. WHO THE FUCK CARES?! If they dont believe you, then dont worry about it. You know whats true and whats not, in your opinion. Forget everyone else, they cant see anyhting then their own goddamn fucking face in a mirror. Only a few words of advice. Get used to it, most people wont believe you.

Its not just what they think, I don't have a problem with that, its just that it made her rethink how close we were. We went from seeing each other a few times a week to now, where I have only seen her four times in the past month!!!! And one of them was actually New Years Eve, so I don't think it even counts!