Depressed...

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We got the news today my grandpa has full blown lung cancer. It's inoperable which also means it's terminal. They can't do anything for him. I'm at a loss...I feel lost. I feel helpless, weak, and vulnerable. I feel sick to my stomach. I feel unstable. I feel like I'm like I'm capable of hurting myself. I can't take it anymore. I don't why I'm even writing this come to think of it....why am I? No point...I can't make him better. Writing this isn't going to keep him from dying. I'm just fucked.Later...

I'm so sorry, Misty. Death, or imminent death, isn't nice, it's horrible - but you're allowed to feel it's horrible. You're allowed to feel bad.Hugs

Writing does help sweetie. We all know you care about your grandpa. He is someone you love and that speaks for itself. Even when he's not there physically, he will always be there in your heart and always watching you from above. Much Love.-Frank

i'm really sorry misty. Everything will be okay, its just your grandfathers time i guess. I hope you spend this time not mourning the inevitible and to make lasting memories with him. And it is okay to cry and all those emotions, and dont forget if you need anything you can talk to me.

sorry mist

Your name makes me cry....:( Frank is his first name...well Frankie

Frank means free man. You're grandpa is going into a world without suffering and without pain. Meanwhile, you're gaining a guardian angel, not losing a person.

Okay...um...I'm not sure here's a story for you...

When my parents got married they were married by a justice in a court house and my grandpa didn't get to give my mom away. My mom and dad always talked about have a renewal of vows ceremony so that my grandpa could give her away. But the doctors informed that he only has three months left to live and my mom's dream is going down the drain. I was thinking I could talk my pastor into coming to our house as a surprise for my mom when they have their cook out over spring break and my grandparents (both my mom and dad's parents) and my uncle and aunt are here and let my parents renew their vows and my grandpa could give my mom away. But I have no idea if there are any legalities that are entailed in renewing one's marriage vows. Can someone please help me????

That's a lovely idea, and I don't think there are any legalities involved at all. The only thing I'd suggest is to make sure everyone who would like to be present knows to come, even if that means it's not a surprise.

Misty, Love... This is truely one of life's tragedies, but it is seriously something that can cause one to grow, show gargantuan love, and to be able to come through it someone you never knew you could be.I encourage you to accept the fact that anxiety (the sick feeling in your stomach, feeling unstable) is totally normal and acceptable in such a case. I myself felt that way for weeks when I found out that I was going to be a single mother when I was 18. I was able though to put a handle on the problem and carry it around for the next 20 yrs!! Ha (she moved out last year).What I recommend is this. Do not avoid your feelings, and please, whatever you do, do not hurt yourself. It will not solve a thing. Please start talking. Of course writing and talking will not be an instant cure, but if you don't actually get it out of you and talk to someone, anyone, it can only fester, grow and continue the miasma of hurt you are feeling. Purging these feelings by speaking or writing them is very cathartic.You must also know that you need to spend as much time as possible with your grandfather. The time with him is irrevocable and you should treat this with the utmost in priority. Even if he is sick in the hospital. Do not let our cold, scary environments in hospitals keep you from his side...I also know that once they leave this physical world, they are still with us in spirit, watching over us, sometimes letting us know that they are there, sometimes not. Sometimes they will come to you in dreams, sometimes not. What I do know to be true is that just because someone leaves this environment it does not mean that they will cease to exist, they are gone from us. They are always in our hearts.Love and Hugs, Hugs, Hugs, Hugs...KP.S. I was once from Tulsa!!