Feeling tired

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When things just get in my mind it's hard to get them out again... hence the unusually long post for me lol

I could leave him with someone for the day, but its not just him. My mother has MS and is in a wheelchair. My father is out of work and is runnung out of money fast. Husband is on disability. From having back surgery. And im looking for a new job because my current one just cut hours. And I presses charges against my own sister for assault and battery. I just have way too much stress.I have been thinking that maybe he does have ADD or ADHD. He is very very hyper. And can't concentrate on anything.

okay... lmao I should really take notice when reading peoples posts for determining sexes lmao sorry I do apologise lmaoI would strongly suggest you try to get him to see someone professional to determine if something needs to be done.I can understand that he must be afraid to talk to people about the things that have happened to him in the past. I know and understand that when people are physically and mentally abused in the past have also been threatened not to talk to other people about the things that have happened, I would have thought that he also has it in his mind that if he “tells” he will be taken away also.Something you could try is getting him to write “letters” about what happened, that is if he is unwilling to talk to people. I have suggested that to many people and for most it is an easier way to communicate out their feelings and fears.It’s hard in these situations to understand fully what goes through those peoples mind, who have been mistreated for so long. But I’m sure that in time he will learn to trust others again.I’ve been thinking also about youth support groups, after school activities or even scouts. Without knowing about him, it’s hard really to suggest things that could occupy his mind and get him out and about. Things that obviously are better for the “trust” side of things would be close teamwork activities, so he can learn to trust others again.I’m very sorry to hear about your family’s situation regarding ill health, but you really need to step back from a few things and not try to take everything onboard yourself. I can understand how you must feel with your mother’s ill health and your father being out of work, but you can’t bog yourself down with what is happening with them (as hard as it may sound), they are old enough to look after themselves.Trying to find work in this day and age can be very frustrating and stressful in itself, all I can really suggest to you is that you talk to your doctor about what’s happening. It may be that he could prescribe you an anti-depressant to just let you relax a little. This course of action is nothing to be afraid of or even suggesting to your doctor about. Many, many people take them in this day and age.

I had to move in with my parents to help take care of mom. She was on life support for 4 weeks. I try not to take everything on myself. I told my parents that I do not want to know about their finances. My adopted son is also very jealous of my son. Because he see's me being there for my son and his mother was never there for him. That is the hard thing. What do I tell him about that?

Rivalry like this is bound to happen, likewise is going to happen to your son if he sees you spending more time with his cousin. All you can really do is sit down with them both and try to make them understand what is going on and that you care for them both. Perhaps “special” time for each could do the trick (although I’m sure you’ve already tried that) and “planned activities” for each.The main problem is that this lad has more or less “self taught” himself that no one loves or cares for him, but at the same time will wreck and be naughty to “gain attention” (as I’m sure you have seen). It is going to be a long time for him to get to trust anyone, but keep reminding him that you have taken him away from the pain and hurt. I know it’s hard to say but he will understand in a fashion.Another thing that is going to be hard to do is punishing him when he is bad, send him to his room, take things away that he treasures. It is hard especially because of his history, but at the same time you can’t let him walk all over you. And what ever punishment you give, needs to be supported. I’m not trying to tell you how to suck eggs or trying to say anything about your parenting and these things you probably already do. But at the same time, he does need to know where the boundaries lye.As for you, it is going to be tough, and things will probably get worse before they get better, but I’m sure in the end things will work out fine. But in the mean time, have a chat to the doctor, and make sure you get some time for yourself (and your husband).If you ever need to vent off or just unload some shit, you know where we are.

jclark, with all that happening, I'm impressed that you are able to keep going on at all.

Thank you. You always know just the right thing to say. That helps a lot. And I do do all those things already. It is hard but I just got to get myself through it.

Hell, im surprised I can keep going. Its really hard. But I just keep going some how.

Ok, I have another question. What do I say to my nephew when he says "im stupid"? He says it all the time. I am sooo sick of hearing that. He is not stupid. Sure he has two D's in school but that is just because he doesn't complete and turn in homework. Every night he argues when its time for bed. He will do anything he can to stay up late. I take away things that he likes like his gameboy and that doesn't seem to help.

I think telling him he is not stupid is the right thing to do. That you have to say it over and over again doesn't mean it's not the right thing - he may need to hear it over and over again.
With one of my daughters we brought in a rule that she didn't get her dinner until she had done her homework. With her, it was the only way to ensure it. Arguing was not at all productive.