I feel REALLY guilty..and i need help

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This is going to be a long post(just warning anyone who reads it) and i'll try to make it as easy to understand as i can..i'm in a very serious relationship with my boyfriend. we plan on getting married after college..the thing is when we first started going out i didn't really care what he thought of me. he asked me about my sex life and i had assumed that he had been sexually active before so i told him i had been(he thinks i gave 3 guys head)..then to my suprise i find out he's a complete virgin..hasn't even made out before...well i didnt think of telling him the truth because i would look stupid, and i didnt think our relationship would turn out this serious. i thought-it won't matter to him, we'll do whatever and he'll probably dump me within a few months- well needless to say i fell in love with him and i dont keep any secrets from him except for this one..and it hurts me really bad when somehows the guys "i gave head to" come up in a conversation..he gets really sad and angry..i feel like shit because i want to tell him the truth and i want him to know that he was my only one..i wouldve told him earlier but i thought he might breakup with me for waiting so long, i know that if i tell him now he will be the happiest guy ever but he will also be pissed(i know he wont leave me because of it) but i need ideas on how to tell him..i dont just want to be sitting there and be like"oh hey, by the way, youre the only guy ive ever done stuff with"..i really need help on this one people.it's been driving me crazy for over a year now.. please help

I would be happier that it was one not 3. Its better if ur honest w/ him anyways.

Just tell him. Why would he be angry? Although you have to think of the reason you lied to him in the first place. It's better that you lied that you had been with other guys as opposed to lying that you hadn't when you have.

Don't wait for a "suitable moment", because it will never come. Just say "There's something I need to tell you . . .". That will scare him so much he'll be very relieved when he finds out what it is.

you need to tell him the truth and the right time is never going to come so the sooner the better! keep your chin up im sure you are going to make him very happy when he finds out the truth..(no competition)

i just told him maybe 20 minutes ago..he isn't really talking to me and he said he doesnt know what's going to happen. he told me our trust has been damaged and i think (not for sure) he's crying..he was really sad and said he didnt know how to feel..i feel like crap

The guy is a bonehead. Trust has been broken OMG..He's upset over this? How's he going to react when something serious happens?

this was really serious..ive helped him through alot of rough times in his life and now he's losing trust in me..the thing is me lieing about the 3 guys came from one little lie...then it grew and grew and grew into something he was always jealous/angry about..just because i couldnt tell him the truth..so i basically have been lieing to him for over 1 1/2 years about it..and making him worry about it for nothing

Still I don't think he should be mad... he should rather be happy that you were/are just as much virgin as he was...

i think your bf is way too emotional

i couldnt stand to be with someone like that, i mean, crying?? come on

wait do you bone and give him head?if you do , go ahead tell him ,atleast he gets action now

In my opinion, this guy is very childish and still has some serious issues. He's been angry/sad/whatever over something that happened(but didn't) before you were together. Why? Did he want a virgin because he was? IDK this all seems really stupid. If he has issues with you being with other guys then he should have been relieved. I have a feeling this guy has a tendency to be a very controlling and jealous person. He needs to come to terms with these issues.

whoa. if it were me I'd be overjoyed and would probably ask for head! :PI guess I'm freaked out about girls I'm with (not that I ever am) being with guys before me. Anxiety issues probably.

I dont know, I kind of understand where he is coming from. Once you lie, you have to keep lying and lying. I would be mad too, not because of the lie itself, but because you kept the lie going for so long. That said, he'll probably come to his senses after he has had time to think.

well everyone..we talked about it..i gave him all the details..we're going to forget it ever happened..as for all of you saying the crap about"hes emotional, hes taking it too serious, hes a bonehead"..i dont know if i made it clear in my post..but ive been lieing to him for over 1 1/2 years..and it wasnt just a "i gave 3 guys head besides you" it led into all kinds of things about me being with other people..so everything he was upset about he just found out was a lie..i appreciate the helpful responses i got..as for the rest of you.i try to help when i reply to peoples questions..not make rude comments about people in the problem

In reply to:it led into all kinds of things about me being with other peopleTherein lies the problem. Unless he's some religeous fundamentalist or from a culture where the female has to be chaste to be worthy, then this shouldn't have been an issue from the get go. I still think he's a bonehead for making this an issue all along.

When you really love someone, you want to believe you're the only one they've ever been with. Nowadays I know that's nearly impossible, but some people would still like to know someone else waited. It has nothing to do with one person being "better" than anyone else...it has everything with sex being thrown away by young people today like its nothing. Trust me - when you meet the right person (and the right person isn't Johnny or Susy in 9th or 11th grade), you'll know how important sex really is to a relationship. That's the one thing physically that two people are supposed to share that no one else can. Sadly, no one cares today. People who have had sex before shouldn't even date people who haven't. Psychologically and emotionally, it's just going to hurt the person who hasn't experienced it yet, no matter what you do or what they say. If you can make it work, mor epower to you, but it's very hard...and if lies are involved, it's near impossible....and BTW - so what if the guy is crying? ...I'm sure none of you have ever done that. People should show their emotions. If they did that more often, people would have less reasons to cry. It has nothing to do with "being a man or not"...it has everything to do with being human.