Ok so i've been with my new fella for a few weeks so its very early days. He's just told me that he suffers from Bullimia but he realises how bad it is and he hasn't done it for months. I dont know how to support him, i've told him maybe he should talk to someone to find out whats making him unhappy but he says he'll be ok.I had concerns before he told me about his eating, he always complained about how he was fat, where as its the opposite, he could do with putting on some weight for health reasons. He tells me he was "chubby" as a child so doesn't want to get like that. But i barely see him eat, and when i do its always crap.Help!!
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New Boyfriends health problem
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Holy crap. This is tough. How old is he? Try not to nag, but you should definitely suggest he get some help again. Do you know how long he's been doing it? If he refuses to get help, you could always check out a free clinic for more information to help him. There might be a counselor you could talk to sort of on his behalf.I'm glad he at least came clean and told you about it instead of finding out some other way. I don't know if there's much you could do besides what I meantioned before. Be sure to mention to him how great he looks.
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Anorexic!!! Sorry couldn't help myself.But I think you need to help your bf out. Keep complimenting him on how sexy he looks and tell him he should buff up and put some meat on his bones (unless he's a vegetarian... like me). You need to push him further and further and let him know how dangerous it is to be the way he is. You can only support him and watch his eating habits. For the rest of the time he's on his own.
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He's 17. I'm always telling him how amazing he looks, cos its the truth. He's always saying how something looks "big" on him or makes him look "fat" so he's always wearing really tight clothes and stuff.I dont want to nag him but i feel like i'm going to be watching him all the time now, what he eats, whether he rushes to the toilet after etc etc
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He wears tight clothes? Oh boy.
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Was that sarcastic or not? What i meant by he wears tight clothes is that he wont buy anything thats bigger than a "small" even though something would fit him fine and that sizes differ all over the place.
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I was saying that in an oh goodness way. Personally and in my opinion it's not very attractive to see a guy wearing tight pants unless he has a nice cowboy accent to go with it. But if he has a nice chest, I definately would not mind the shirt. But I'm sure he looks good anyway. Just make sure he doesn't seriously harm himself. Not eating can damage the body greatly.
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you should get him to goto the gym more often. I've heard of this one guy who was anorexic and stuff and he started to goto the gym to lose weight (or what he thought was fat) after a few months his body turned from skin and bones to the body you would see on a model. He got into measuring his bodyfat % and stuff and that helped him keep his bodyfat percentage at under 10% (i think he was floating around 7-8%) so he was really lean and muscular. He stopped doing the vomiting thing and just focused on keeping his body fat under 10%. I think it was healthier for him to do this instead of barfing after every meal. To this day he still has a great body from what i hear.
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Not eating well is only part of the problem. Habitual barfing can do a lot of damage. If he can't stop, then he seriously needs counseling or some sort of professional attention.
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In reply to: after a few months his body turned from skin and bones to the body you would see on a model. There is a difference?
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ohh sorry i should have been more specific. I meant those muscular male models that you usually see on calenders and stuff. Not those skinny runway models...those type of model are just gross.
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The last thing you want him doing is joining a gym. Exercise can be very dangerous to anyone with an eating disorder. Because he has no weight on him, he will be building up muscles using energy he needs to run his other organs. The thrill you get from going to the gym after a really good workout IS addictive, and if he gets addicted to it, that can be really dangerous. I had bulemia really badly about three years ago. the thing with bulemia is that the sufferer tends to stay a normal weight. If he is really thin to the point that he lookds emaciated, he has anorexia. You need to find out what it actually is before trying anything. Bulemics have differnt ways of controlling their eating. They may either eat, and then make themselves sick. Also they may eat huge amounts of food, and then fast (Not eat) for days on end. (This is what I used to do) Whilst not loosing any weight, those suffering bulemia will still have a bad body image. Anorexia sufferes tend to eat nothing, and have very distinctive eating habits. They may eat very very slowly, cutting their food up into small pieces before eating it, or eating half and leaving the rest. They will often have an emaciated appearance. 90% of bulemia and anorexia sufferers are never 'cured' so try not to think your partner can be too easily. this 90% will stop their eating habits, but have relapses of the problem throughout their lives. (I know all this cos I studied it at A level Psychology) You have to try to get him to seek help. the first step to this is him realising he has a problem, and if he has told you he has bulemia he is very aware he has the problem. You should not, however, go around telling people about it, no matter how closse they are to you, if you can help it. He has told you his secret in confidence, you must try to keep it at all times unless he is in serious danger. As someone suggested, keep complimenting him. Never comment on his eating habits, he will grow to hate your interference and wish he never told you-that's the last thing you want. He needs support from you. He will not respons to nagging or ultimatums.(I'm not suggesting your would do this, just general advice I hope you realise) Just be there for him, ask him occasionally if he wants to talk. If he does, listen patiently and supportingly. Offer him any help he asks. If he doesn't want to alk, don't push him, just make him aware you are there for him if he needs to talk, anytime. If his condition worsens, you really need to talk to a proffessional. This could mean you go to your doctor and ask their advice-this is what they are there for, and they should be able to help him. I am out of my bulemic phase now, but its still difficult everyday. I know my body is fine, and I am not overweight, but it's a nasty little voice in your head trying to tell you otherwise thats the problem. Its like, if a random girl shouted 'your fat' in the high street you might shake it off, but you may later start to worry if she was right. Same problem. I sympathise greatly with you and especially your boyfriend. Best wishes and hopes for his emminent recovery. Please email me if theres anything else I can help with or you want more information.Yourselainecox
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Have him to watch what he eats and if he doesn't stop it can kill him. Have him to eat salads seafood and chicken things are good for you. He needs to eat.
