Eddie Izzard

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Does anyone know who he is? If you don't you need to look him up because he is hilarious! Heres my fav quotes by him...I am an evil giraffe, and I shall eat more leaves from this tree then prehaps I should, so that other giraffes may die. And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do," but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel! If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, "Heimlich maneuver," and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say "Heimlich maneuver" when you're choking to death. Pol Pot killed one point seven million Cambodians, died under house arrest, well done there. Stalin killed many millions, died in his bed, aged seventy-two, well done indeed. And the reason we let them get away with it is they killed their own people. And we're sort of fine with that. Hitler killed people next door. Oh, stupid man. After a couple of years we won’t stand for that, will we? And Henry VIII, a big hairy king, went up to the Pope and said, "Mr. Pope! I'm gonna marry my first wife, then I'm gonna divorce her. Now, I know what you're gonna say, but stick with me. My story gets better. Second wife, I'm gonna kill her! Cut her head off. Ah, not expecting that, are we? Third wife gonna shoot her. Fourth wife, put her in a bag. Fifth wife, into outer space. Sixth wife, on a rotissamat. Seventh wife, made out of jam..." and the Pope is saying, "You crazy bugger! You can't do all this, what are you a Mormon? It's illegal. What have you been reading? The gospel according to St. Bastard?" (On the Church of England) Tea and cake or death!Students would be, “Tea and cake or death! Tea and cake or death! Little Red Cookbook! Little Red Cookbook!”Ca – you know, cause, “Cake or death?” That’s a pretty easy question. Everybody – anyone could answer that.Cake or death?Uhh, cake please.Very well! Give him cake!Oh, thanks very much. It’s very nice.You! Cake or death?Uh, cake for me, too, please.Very well! Give him cake, too! We’re gonna run out of cake at this rate. You! Cake or death?Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry…You said death first, ah ha, ah ha, death first!Well, I meant cake!Oh, all right. You’re lucky I’m Church of England! Cake or death?Uh, cake please.Well, we’re out of cake! Well, we only had three bits and we didn’t expect such a rush. So what do you want?Well, so my choice is ‘or death?Well, have the chicken then, please.Taste of humans, sir. Would you like a white wine? There you go, thank you very much. Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?Uhh, I asked for the vegetarian.Ah, yes, the vegetarian, yes, there we go, Mr. Hitler, there we go. Would you like a little wine, there we go...you Nazi shit-head.Okay, okay, I'm bored and I have little time on my hands before I'm forced to go to work, so sue me lol

**Hes one of my favs hon, hes just funny all the time, like billy connolly is :smile:
He does the voice for IT in the kids film 5 children and it, and even with just his voice hes funny.......... ** :grin:

omg I love him to bits dies hes fabulous!!!!!!!

He's awesome! Used to love his comedy hour or whatever you call it on HBO, used to put me in tears laughing.

I love him too. I have every one of his DVD's...

Well what got me to thinking of him was one of my friends asked me yesterday on the phone if I'd ever heard of "Izzy Izzard" and I about died laughing because she screwed his name up so terribly lol She couldn't believe that I had heard of him and I was like "Sweetie, I know there are more comedians out there than the Bule Collar boys unlike most people." My friend Asia got me hooked on him years ago and I can't get enough of him ^_^ My family thinks I'm nuts for liking him (of ocurse that could be because they don't understand what the hell he's talking about), but hes great

same here! all hail eddie.. lol

Yes yes..all bow to my feet =-P JK! =-D

And where you been hiding Ms.Amy???

wow, you big head. lol I've been pretty busy recently, been out quite a bit celebrating how long me n the man thing have been together but I am back now

im a huge izzard fan,.i went to see him in cardiff on his "sexie" tour.,he's great,.he's do off the wall.,

Guns don't kill people people do,and so do monkeys(if they got a gun)

Well glad to see you are back =-D

Other then the blue collar boys? *sigh*
You make me hurt
Iv been watching comedy for years, longer in fact then youv been alive. I know many great comedians and dont even count the blue collars among them, but Ron White is funny, not great, but funny.
Andrew dice clay, dennis leary,steven lynch,richard pryor,eddie murphy god there is so many other comedians then the blue collar group Eddies ok, not myfavorite, but Iv watched him and think hes ok. I dont really know the point of my reply aside from that I hate the blud collar group and hate to be lumped into a group that thinks they are great :laughing:

LOL Well believe me, although those Blue Collar Boys can be funny, I know there are more comedians out there. Eddie Murphy happens to be one of my favorites, then there is Robbin Williams, Steve Martin, Dana Carvey, Bob Hope (little bit of the old chool ^_^), Billy Crystal, and Bill Cosby (my list could go on forever). I don't limit myself when it comes to comedy like most people I know (hell I even own a whole collection of Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts on DVD... which by the way are hilarious and they'll leave you in stitches!).

yeah! I have to agree with what you listed as the add on list of great comedians, I concur!I just hate blue ollar comedy Iv watched it and the stand up was decent, but the show ohh god the show I hate that show! and I tend to get a lil uhhhh retarded when I grouped in with the fans of it.