Thanks so much, java, for understanding what I meant! Half of the people on here thought I was getting ready to cheat on my man! If you knew me in person you would laugh at the thought. I love my fiance very, very deeply, and I'd be quite the fool to let him go for an orgasm.I have to admit that I do feel like quite the little idiot now, though. Our relationship is excellent, except for the darn distance thing. (SteveA, actually, we are. Not the prison thing ). Its more sexual frustration than boredom or even a real desire to cheat. When we get together the sex is just fine... it's just the fact that it can only occur once in a blue moon. Speaking of blue, I'm about as close as I can get to that without being a guy...The other guy isn't a real option or anything... I don't think he's attrated to me at all, it's just a little fantasy I cooked up because seriously this guy is the sort of person that does the kinds of things I'd be too afraid to do. He's a fantasy more than a real person... which is why I prefer to hang out with him as much as I can so that I can remember that (it sounds disingenuous but it's true - being near him reminds me of why he'd be wrong for me anyway). But I don't see him very often and my mind very often plays tricks on me. It could be all the sex I'm not having. I'm grateful for what I have and I won't let it go. It just gets hard sometimes. And I'm not there to enjoy it.