Have you ever helped someone that didn't want help?The reason I ask is there is someone in my life that I haven't seen in a few years who is like this. The last time we talked I was trying to convince her to steer toward the right direction, things ended up in an argument and I haven't seen her since. She was going to parties, getting drunk, and smoking a lot of weed. I could already see the path she was taking. She always told me she thought I was the sweetest guy she ever met and that I was one of her most trusting and closest of friends; so I tried to make a difference, but even a close friend couldn't sway her mind.A lot has happened since I last saw her. She's a drug dealer now (weed) and I hear she's in and out of jail. So far she's had one abortion, 2 miscarriages, and I was informed the other day that she's pregnant again. I believe she may have resorted to prostitution a few times for money. Her parents pretty much abondoned her when she was a sophomore and she ended up living with a friend and dropping out to work a minimum wage job. In my mind, her boyfriend is the root of a lot of the problems. The funny thing is I think he's been trying to get rid of her for some time now. It may be a matter of time before she's dumped on the street or even dead.So how do you help someone who doesn't want help? Can you help someone who doesn't want it? I thought some other personal experiences or stories would be very helpful. So anything shared would be much appreciated.
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Help the hopeless
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Oh yeah. A new set of commercials have come out about talking to your friends about their drug problems. Everytime I see one I remember her.Anyway, I just wanted to say that sometimes when you confront your friend about their drug problem they don't want to hear anything about it. So knowing how to go about that situation would be really helpful also.
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You certainly can't force people into a better path. Ultimately people are responsible for their own lives, and it's their choice. Some people seem to need to go down before they can go up.What you can do is let people know there is an exit available to them if they want it, a shoulder to cry on, and a non-judgemental friend, who respects them regardless, to talk about things with.
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Yeah, I was like that for a couple of years. It seemed like nothing was changing except for the worse and she wouldn't even help herself. Some people need 'tough love' to snap them toward the right path and make them realize what their doing so that's what I did. I guess in her case, losing a few close friends wasn't enough.
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I can definetely see both the tough love and the softer, non-judgmental love working out at different points. As far as I can tell, Websex, you did what you could, and you tried different methods. It seems to me like you did the right thing. Sometimes there's just nothing you can do.
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Thanks. I've been told that quite a few times. I can't help but think there's some way to help the situation, I just don't know what it is. You know what I mean? That's just the way life is I guess.
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Yeah, the only thing you can really do is just give it an honest try. Other then that, you just have to make sure you don't go insane torturing yourself about things you could have or should have done
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lol. Yeah, the "what ifs" are killin' me right now. Sometimes I wish I could turn my brain to "minimal thinking" mode.Another reason why I started thinking about this girl is because of my ex. It seems she's also starting to take the wrong path and there's not much I can do about it.I'll work on the not beating myself up thing though. For 2 years I beat myself up for what happened to my friend and I don't plan on doing that again. Thanks for the help.