Whenever I go a few days without masturbating I feel really great and motivated. I mean i can act myself and i have alot of energy... The opposite is true when I masturbate...I mean seriously, I know that it's natural to feel relaxed after ejaculation but this is different. It really has impacted me to the point where I almost go crazy !. Let me try and describe the affects to you... I feel depressed, I can't think straight (really difficult to concentrate), I'm totally unmotivated, I feel completely guilty, My self esteem is lowered, I feel unattractive, feel like almost death... Completely exhausted, without any fight in me.. almsost suicidal i'd say...there has been one time where I went 9 months without masturbating, thats right, 9 months ! Everything was different, like i described in the first paragraph.. but, now that i feel i have to masturbate often because i can't resist it, i end up paying for the consequences like i have said... I'm sure your probably thinkin that if it's that big of a problem for me i should seek a doctor.. But, i tried that. unfortunately the doctors i've visited are very narrow in their thinking and all of them belive my problem is not a problem at all, but i know myself, and comparing to others i know they don't suffer the affects the same way as me..as if going to them wasn't hard enough and embarrasing, their solutions were so elementary( drink Ginger tea, it will give you energy) they say.. they have no solutions, i seem to not get any from anything i've searches so far. i'm 24 years old by the way... Does anyone else have the same problem as me, or similar affects??.. Trust me, i've heard it all concerning this, " your problem is how you view it, your guilt comes from an event triggered earlier in your childhood or strong religious beliefs which have prevented you from not being guilty " and blah, blah , blah... its all the same... I dont feel guilt because of religious beliefs, i feel guilt just because i did it. i don't know where it comes from, but i haven't had an unusual past so i can confirm that i'm a normal guy with an abnormal problem...sorry this is long. but it bothers me alot and its driving me crazy... if i can go a few days without it, then i'm great. but, I have to stay consistently away from it or else.. i feel like its a monster catching up to me, i keep running but eventually it will get me and pull me back down.. anyways, i'm new, and this is my first post, so go easy on me. thanks...
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Masturbation has ruined me !!
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so do you feel guilty because masturbation feels wrong to you?
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I can't explain if its a feeling of guilt for sure or not.. just a total and complete loss of energy.. and fear comes over me. like my confidence has been taken.. thats the best way to describe it...
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Dude, I am right there with you on this one. I understand.
When I "abstain" from masturbating my outlook/demeanor/attitude/etc definitely changes. I'm more open to people. I feel less guilt (not just guilt about wanking, but guilt in general). I'm less paranoid. I feel more hopeful. Not that I don't feel some of this when I'm "riding the dragon", but it's more pervasive when I'm not.
This is the case for me because I have a sexual addiction. Even though, as you describe, sobriety is hard as hell, the benifits are amazing.
I don't know if that helps you or not. But I don't think what you're describing as far as how your mood relates to maturbating is all that weird or unusual. It's actually your mind and emotions crying out for healthiness, which it sounds like for you (as with me) comes through abstinence.
Just some thoughts from my experience...Another thing that you might want to consider is being assessed for depression. I know you mentioned seeing a doctor, but have you seen a counselor? That might be helpful. Maybe even one who has experience with sexual addictions. (I'm not saying you have a sexual addiction, just that a counselor with that kind of knowledge and background might be more likely to hear you.)
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my theory says:fthe more sex or wacking off I have the clearer I think.too much back up clouds your mind.Its the same theory as cleaning the pipes before a big date, if you just knocked out a load, your not obsessed with getting down her pants, you can concentrate on the date rather then on getting laid.its the same in life, if I knock out a load in the monring IM not constantly thinking about sex all day and i can go on with my normal life. I never feel guilty about busting a nut be it by hand or by a woman. Why the hell would I feel guilty?I did not hurt anyone by playing a bit of 5 knuckle shuffle, I did not hurt myself so what the hell would I have to feel guilty about?IF I happen to be wrong and there were to end up being a god, and god dont like me punching clowns, thats his tough shit, he or she or it or what ever can deal with it as i have no intention of stopping.as to being paranoid and antsy, I fgot rid of that energy when I packed my hand, Im much more relaxed and able to focus after, albiet not right after but with in 10 minutes then I was before I got started onff doing the laundry by hand.I have a sexual addiction myself, I also think that the dirtier the sex, the better the sex.Im 34, 35 in Aprilf, I suppose its a bit odder at my age, but at a younger age I do not belive its any type of sickness or addiction, its normal, I started off when I was aout 13 or 14 with the desire for sex and the need, it just has never gone away or weakened. I suspect that 99% of young men have a addiction to sex but I suspect that in reality about 99% of those 99% are just normal and have a normal desire and need for some tail. So long as its not a ruling factor in your life and stopping you from living your life I think its more of a need and normal then an addiction.
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Well...and then there's that.The guilt I was speaking of (and I suspect the op was speaking of) is not necessarily guilt over that act of masturbation. It's a general, pervasive guilt that is part of the addiction cycle. I think what he is describing is pretty much the classic emotional/psychological baggage that accompanies sexual addictions. And it's not something that jacking off will help, only make worse.
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It could easily be that his guilt is over something that i have no grasp of because of some, something that has never been intorduced to my brain. but the fact remains (aside from some real sickness or some type of trauma outside the normal realm of growign up), wacking it is normal, it hurts noone and should cause no shame for the wacker. Also its not an addiction unless it disrupts normal daily life to not get the desired vice or that the desired vice disrupts normal life because of having it.
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If I don't jack off I just get more arroused I end up getting myself into more trouble if I don't jack off because the level of sexual arrousal just builds up and I end up saying some stupid thing to a woman, getting myself in trouble. But as soon as I jack off it is all better and I realise that not jacking off is indeed going out with a loaded gun. If you dont release, it just builds up and you end up doing things you normaly would not do which afterward regret.
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That's all fine and good, but it is also your experience.The experience of someone with a sexual addiction is quite different.
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I think everyone here has some good points.. About the going to counselling thing, I should of mentioned that when i first wrote. I've been to counselling, two actually, and they seem to believe the same things about my problem. They feel its in my mind and they wanted to put me on pills... and they kept trying to get me to admit that it was in my mind so that my problem didn't go against their theory on masturbation.. you see, they study these things and been to school about it, but, it seems that if my problem go's agianst their belief system about it and contradicts what they believe to be true, Then i'm the one who must be wrong according to them... Get what i'm saying?? Its pretty sad that we are supposedly surrounded by these really intelligent people who apparently haven't heard of my kind of problem before... And even as i look at some of the replies here, its clear i'm not not alone concerning this... But, I can honestly say that the problem is not in my mind.. Nor, do I have sex addiction problem.. You see, i'm trying to get away from doing it, even having sex, because the price I have to pay afterward is too high..... One replier made a good point about this problem mentioning the pshycological and emotional effects he suffers from masturbating... This is totally true concerning me.. it really does drain my energy, thats not an imaginary thing as the doctors and counsellors have told me... I've actually lost my job one time over it... The only way I was able to do good at my job was if i abstained from masturbating.. I even tried disciplining myself to having sex only on the weekend, like once a week.. This gave me time to recooperate, so i'd be fine again about Tuesday in the week.. But, eventually the jugglying act caught up to me and i wasn't able to stay abstainent for a week at a time.. Not because i'm a sex addict, but, because once a week wasn't enough.....i was so tired, over and over again i'd be late for work, and when i was at work i couldn't do my job properly, i wasn't myself u know...But, i can go on and on about what trouble it has caused me, the main thing i'm thinking about is a diagnoses and solution for my problem.. I mean im sure u can understand that if doctors and counsellors cant seem to give me the help i need, it can be really discouraging to keep trying to look for more help.. i mean what am i supposed to do? not have sex? Not masturbate just so that i can behave and feel normal ?... And on top of all this, its easy to say these things here because no one knows who i am, but, its not like i'm telling everyone i know i have this problem. This isn't the kind of subject to discuss over a cup of coffee with the fellas..I mean people don't see me having this problem and its not appearant as much as a handicapt persons problem would be, out in the open..all people see is the EFFECTS and wonder whats wrong with me.. i cant tell them because its embarrasing and they wont be able to help or understand, because according to the professionals i don't have a problem anyway, its in my mind (Puke)... Fucks sake !..
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The mind is a powerful thing. It's all in your head.
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I dunno friend...Why have you ruled out sexual addiction? You said 1) that the masturbation has effected your performance at work 2) you weren't able to stop it or cut it down 3) there's a cycle of guilt and shame involved. Those are classic addiction red flags.You know yourself better than any of us do obviously...but that's just something to think about.
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In reply to: You have a sexual addiction? Yeah. I've actually mentioned it a time or two before.
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Well, at least you have sexy lips.
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I don't know why but I feel the same. For some reason..it makes me feel disgusting or nasty. And I don't know why. it puts me in a bad mood. And it's not like "Oh well then just stop masturbating!" It's not that easy..for some reason I just feel the need to do it. And after I do it I feel bad about myself..or sad. And I don't why. I just act differently and feel wierd. I thought I was the only one..
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In reply to:
The mind is a powerful thing. It's all in your head.
(sarcastic) your right, its all in my head... I suppose that if you cut your head by falling on the pavement, the wound you'd get doesn't actually hurt, i mean you don't actually FEEL anything.... and if you do , your just crazy because the pain from the fall is not really there at all, its just your imagination.. after all , the mind is a powerful thing, right?.....
You must be a counsellor, because you sound just as intelligent as they do with your powerful statement...
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Wow what you just wrote made absolutely no sense. You said when you ejaculate it makes you go crazy... tell me how that is not psychological?
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In reply to: You said when you ejaculate it makes you go crazy... tell me how that is not psychological? I'm saying its not ALL in my head... When I do it, it messes with me in many different ways physically.. read some of the other guys reply's here. they know what i'm saying. It affects some people physically too.... but, from what you've written it sounds as though you don't believe i'm experiencing any physical ill, but rather, i'm imagining it in my mind... this is what doctors and counsellors tell me too, and its totally untrue.... do you get what i'm saying? This is why its discouraging to bring up to people. people don't understand... Anyways..
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May I ask how masterbating changes you physicaly?
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so what about sex? if you orgasm from sex does it have the same negative effects as playing a little five nuckle shuffle does?