I'll have been going out with my girlfriend for 2 months as of april 11th. She and I have always been really close friends, since I met her last summer, and I guess something just clicked between us one day. A little later, I asked her out, and she said yes. There's only one downside: She lives almost an hour away, and we only get to see each other every weekend (or sometimes every other weekend). Now I know some of you will probably advise against long distance relationships, but that's not why I'm here.This girl is one of the most incredible people I know, and she's almost exactly everything I could ever want in a girlfriend. She's sweet, caring, funny, smart, loyal, a lot of fun to be with, beautiful, and one of the best friends I have (if not the best friend). When we're together, I'm always really happy, and I constantly look forward to the next time I see her, and when I leave, I always miss her more than I've ever missed anyone for a couple of days. But what bothers me is what happens after those couple of days... Every time I see her, a few days after I leave again, for some reason I doubt my feelings for her. Sometimes I almost feel like I don't like her as much as I think I do, and this terrifies me. What's wrong with me? Why do I get this feeling sometimes? Could it just be because I miss her so much that I subconciously try to like her less so it doesn't hurt so much? Or is this just a part of the long distance relationship thing?The thing is, it's almost like a cycle... The times I don't get to see her for 2 weeks, I'll miss her desperately for the first 2 or 3 days, then I'll go through a few days (usually around 3-4, I guess) of doubting myself, and then after that, I feel everything I felt for her before, and can't wait to see her again.This just really doesn't make any sense to me... How could I doubt my feelings for the most perfect girl I could ever ask for? I've had this on my mind for a few weeks now, and it's really been bothering me. I want to love her with all of my heart, and never doubt myself, because she's absolutely incredible. I just don't always feel it as strongly, and that bothers me...Please, any explanation you might be able to offer would help. There's no one else I can talk to about this, because I don't want to sound like a terrible person to my friends, and I definitely don't want this to somehow get back to her, because I'd never want to hurt her...
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What's wrong with me?
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I'm in a similar geographical situation with my gf, she lives about 45 minutes away and I also only get to see her on Friday nights. One day a week and soon it will be even less because of exams. But itsn't a problem because I still talk to her all the time on the phone or online. I'm guessing that the two of you do the same, right? You don't actually go a week with absolutely no contact, do you?Well, I've felt the same way as you and my personal explanation is that your mind is just trying to stop you from missing her by making you think you don't want her. Kind of like a built in system to stop you from feeling bad all the time. When you are about to see her again the little system turns off and you remember why you like her so much.
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To answer your question, yes, we talk everyday as much as we can.Thank you for the response, I appreciate it. What you described sounds a lot like what I thought might've been the problem. I think I'm going to talk to her about it, because ignoring it won't help. Obviously, I'm worried it might upset her, but I really want to talk to her about it, because for all I know, she might feel the same way. I'm just hoping that maybe talking to her will help a lot, because it'll be a lot of weight off of my chest. I'm going to be seeing her in a few hours, so I think I might talk to her about it then, in person, because it'll be less painful if we're together when we're talking about it. Or at least, I hope so...
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Well, I'm not sure if painful is really the word to describe how it may feel, but its a good thing that you're gonna talk to her about it, especially in person. Tell us how things go, if you fuck up you might need our help again.