HELP PLEZ I love my guy BUT........

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I need someones advice I don't want anyone to get offended I'm just confused and have too many mixed feeling to see if I'm being selfish and shallow I am 19 turning 20 very soon and seeing this guy who is 12 days younger then me and have been for about 7 months when I met him we hit it off straight away I really like him and his asked me to move in with him I think we will be life partners and no it isn't puppy love
BUT
the only thing freaking me a little is that he has a 9 month old son I'm scared he'll go back to where he lives to either the mum or his son just for the childs sake. He tellls me all the time that he doesn't have feelings for the mother anymore and that he loves me. I love him dearly and care about him alot. He loves his son but doesn't see him at the moment he wants to start arranging to see him on a regular basis and I'm kool with this I'm not a jealous person and I understand he has to communicate with her and I think it's important to see his son but I'm also a little funny (maybe jealous I don't know) of his child becoz he has the experience of children before. I've told him about my concerns and he says that he won't go see him I tell him I want him to see his son becoz I know its important for a son to know his father and for my guy to know his son and thats what he wants then he should do it. He doesn't want anything to come between us so he now doesn't mention his son at all I'm scared I don't want to bring it up becoz I want him to go see him but want to be able to talk to him about it I want to know whats going on is that selfish I can't honestly tell him I'm kool with it cause I'm not sure how I feel. His asked me to move in with him and I want to but what if this becomes an issue I have high morals and standards and thought I wouldn't fall for a guy with baggage (no offence to anyone) coz I've had a tough life and didn't want the hassel I come from a good home of a little bit strict parents but I have sooo fallen for this guy my parents except him they aren't judgemental just protective they told me becareful i don't get hurt but apart from that they like him. I love kids but selfishly would like him to myself for a few years and want to have kids between him and I is this TOO selfish and do I have a right to be jealous and am I being shallow. How do I talk to him without making him feel like he can't see his son.

HELP PLEZ :confused:

First, please only post once. I know you want an answer but it just uses up bandwidth that has to be paid for with pop-ups, and it makes it difficult to follow the threads if there are more than one on the same topic.

It's onlt to be expected that you feel strange about your boyfriend's ex and his son. Certainly you mustn't come between your boyfriend and his son, for both their sakes. I think the question is, can you cope well with the situation, and handle it in a way that is right for you and for your boyfriend and for his son? If you can't, then you should move on, I think.

Sorry bout posting it more then once
I never want to come between them and I encourage him to see his son and talk to his ex I know it'll make it easier for him and his son if the mum and my guy can get along in a civil manner the prob is that his asked me to move in now and hasn't started seeing his son yet I'm afraid it could become an issue later on I don't want to hurt him or get hurt I really love him I know I can't really know what I'm going to feel til he starts seeing him and is it bad or do I have a right to ask whats going on or should I leave it up to him I'm a Leo I hate being left out I want to know whats going on but is it better left to him to sort out

I think you've got the right idea. Don't move in with him yet, give him time to get his kid straightened out. Tell him that althought this is kinda weard for you, to keep you in the loop as to what's going on with him and his kid / ex. If he keeps up with the 'I don't want anything to come between us, so I'm just not going to see my kid' run like hell, and don't look back. It's a pretty big character flaw for a guy to abandon his kid for a girl.

Thanx for the advcie I do think its slack and I'd rather give up him and I if he stops seeing his kid coz of me I'd be forever guilty he use to tell me that he'd wake up in the middle of the night just wanting to hold himso I no he loves him his also scared he'll be a bad father and he will be if he doesn't see him regularly and that comes first that child needs a dad THANKYOU SOOOO MUCH

If he wakes up in the middle of the night, wanting to hold him, then he could probably become a great father. He just has to get past the initial 'oh hell, i've got a kid, NOW what do i do?' LOL I know all about that feeling; I've got a kid, and an ex. It's tough, but not an impossible thing to do. smile