Ok, so everyone knows, I met a really great guy. The ONLY problem we REALLY have is his ex. That is getting taken care of. We mesh on like EVERY level. We can (and do) talk about everything.
So, we have been discussing living together. I hate where I am. It is small, cramped, and it is becoming increasingly uncomfortable to have him out as often as we do. My landlord freaked the other night, because she thought I gave out the gate key. I guess I don't like having to explain my company to them, either. They're not nosy per say, but both mom and daughter live behind the gate with me, they ARE entitled to know who is here.
He is in a small apartment, in a crappy neighborhood (one I lived in before I bought my house) and wants out.
We, were discussing like end of summer moving in together, that way if kids needed to change schools, they would be doing it at the beginning of the year not midway. And we wouldn't have to spend months driving them to their old school waiting for summer to transfer them.
WELL, I found a house yesterday. It is SOOOO perfect for us. I really didn't want to move out till I was ready to buy, but this place is a really cheap rental, and compared to buying (even a lesser place with the market where we are) we would save nearly 70K over the next three years. So, it would be cheaper for us to stay where we ARE. I am rent free, and he is paying about what he would pay, if we split the rent on this house I found.
Anyway, the problem is, I am still doubting myself. I am scared that I won't be able to make my half, or that if I move off the ranch, I won't be as welcome into the real estate business, and I might not have the work here that I do now.
I know, the job stuff is a wrong perception. They love me no matter, unless I turn into a useless loser...
How, do I get over this stupid doubt? Many of you have watched me go through LOTS of shit, and I am ok. That isn't what this is about, I know I will be OK, but I REALLY don't want to screw this relationship up!
I am not doubting him. I am doubting myself holding up my end. Is that normal? Or is the doubt from being so soon? Or from not having my life turn out the way I wanted it to?
If I decide to opt out of THIS house, he will understand, but it is SO perfect. It is close enough to his work, and its close to mine, it is the right size, it allows the dogs (VERY difficult to rent with pets) it's just PERFECT, but sooner than originally planned.
Opinions would be nice. I think I am just scared cause I have been burnt so many times, and HARD!