Decisions

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Ok, so a little while ago I made a post about the fact that I wasn't so happy with my current girlfriend and kinda wanted to break up with her, but that I felt really bad about it.So...as it turns out I am currently in a relationship with 2 girls. The one I mentioned before and a new one. Now they don't know this and probably won't find out because they go to different schools. Still I can't help but consider if I should break up with one of them because having 2 girlfriends might be complicated.Any advice, especially from people who have been in this kind of situation before would be appreciated.And please don't just post to tell me how terrible I am for cheating on them...

All right, time to be reasonable. I don't really know what your case is with that second girl, but I know about the first girl and how she's been getting on your nerves? Well, I know you have to break up with one of them but one of your choices is an exceptionalized, possibly varying option. It's like a multiple choice question with two choices, and one of them could change from worse than the other, to better after you wait before answering the question. Or you could say one of them is a steady stock and the other one is about to change and you're just waiting to see how much. I don't mean to deign women and the idea of girlfriends by using object and possessive analogies, and I apologize if I come off this way to anyone who is reading this, but that is not what I intended by using metaphors.What I'm getting at is, wait a while and see if the first girl calms down a bit. If she gets better and becomes a more "fun" girlfriend than the second, break up with the second. If after a while she still becomes too clingy and possessive and such, break up with her. Though you may feel guilty about it, it still has to happen. No. Wait. Don't. You should talk to her about it and see if she tries to change. If she doesn't change, then you have to break up with her.Or you could just work things out with the first one and break up with the second one because she is the first relationship and all and you owe it to her to try and work things out. I know I'm sending mixed message but choose which one you like the most because both scenarios include breaking up with SOMEONE.

So you're saying two girlfriends are too stressful to handle?

Originally Posted By: firemanAnd please don't just post to tell me how terrible I am for cheating on them... Okay, fine. You're a coward for not having the balls to break up with that first girl.Seriously dude, if she annoys you, leave her already. It'll be a favor for the both of you.

No. I mean, well, to some scale, yes, because as their boyfriend you owe it to them to give them your undivided attention, but that's not possible with two girlfriends, and personally, I would enjoy one girlfriend enough as it is because... that's the way I am.But if you're saying you can handle both then by all means, go ahead, but I think if you were planning on staying with both, you wouldn't have started this thread asking on which one you should break up with. You know?

Aw, Virtual_Star, I'm not trying to start an angry discussion, but don't you kind of think that first girl is just new to relationships and doesn't really know how to behave in one so she just acts all clingy? :frowning: I was like that and unfortunately, she ended up dumping me on Valentine's Day.

Maybe my post shouldn't be taken too seriously though, because of Conflict of Interest, but... oh well. :laughing:

No worries, hun. No way I can get mad you. Yes, you're right. She's new in being a relationship. But, not all people are going to click when they become a couple. Maybe being clingy is her personality, but I don't know.It simply makes no sense in being in a relationship with someone you don't like. If there's no way to work it forward, break up and move on.It saves feelings being hurt. Or at least, not badly hurt.

I suppose you're right about that. At least he's not breaking up with her on Valentine's Day! :grin:

Well I would guess that overtime 2 girlfriends would become rather stressful, so yes, sooner or later I'll break up with one of them. My problem here is that it's a hard choice.The first one is really boring and is quite honestly getting on my nerves at this point, but she cares about me much more deeply than the other one. The new one is much more exciting, we have a lot more fun together, and it's a lot more passionate. However if this isn't just a short term attraction between us at this point.

Kinda left me hanging there with the last sentence.Look, at this point, you need not sympathize for the first girl. Though her deep feelings for you may be caused by the whole "You're my first boyfriend!" and all, if it's doing nothing for you, then I agree with Virtual_Star. I don't know how much the clinginess is affecting you anymore because your last post didn't include that.And as for the second girl, I get the vibe that you two go well together, and you should give it a shot, if, of course, your last sentence is saying that your feeligns for each other are not just some "honeymooner" emotions and are actually authentic, genuine, and long-lasting. Like my favorite gum!

Sorry about that, didn't quite finish that sentence, my bad. I think you knew what I wanted to say though.I understand what you're saying about the first one, and that I should probably break up with her. It's just...I kinda feel like I at least owe her a bit more of a chance. I think I'm going to wait another week and then make my decision.

Okay... but... your relationship with her is giving you nothing and giving her lots. This is commensalism right here, (as defined in Biology Class, a symbiotic relationship where one party gains benefits while the other is unaffected) and relationships between people are supposed to be mutualistic (where both parties are benefited) and so, I don't think this is much of a "relationship" anymore, but, this may be out of conflict of interest or just good sense talking, but if you feel like giving her more of a chance to make yourself feel better and to benefit her as well (which would be a mutualistic thing to do) then by all means, go for it, and the best of luck on how it turns out.

you're wrong there, I get free brownies out of it

Okay, I was talking on terms of deeply, but if that was a joke it was greatly appreciated :grin: lol I'm so slow.

i advise you to make up your mind as to who to dump...FAST.
once word leaks out that you're 'cheating' on them, you'll lose both girls and end up with nobody.

lol.
so make up your mind, grit your teeth, and dump 'em.

They go to different schools, so "word" won't get out