I am ... Soo confused...So hurt... Soo lost...

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Hi i decided to register on this forum because i needed advice about some1 and something very important to me. well first let me give u the info on what the situation is...I love my girl friend more then i love any1 else in the world besides my mother. I have been going out with her for a year and a half...i am 18 and so is she..She was the first girl i ever said i love yout to ...and to me those 3 words are suppose to mean...i dont know monogomy? forever? im very serious abou those words and i thought that what we had was real.. i had soo many insecurities about myself but being with her made me a better person, she made me better, she made me happy...in my life ive lived through soo much sorrow and pain she made everything ok again all my pain..sadeness melted away whenever i had her with me...she was my babys, i wanted to take care of her work through anything...a good relationship is suppose to take work right?? always work to make it stronger and better...but this past weekend...friday she payed softball so she couldnt hangout with me i was ok with that so i went out and hung with the boys, saturday she had a game also i had work so i couldnt make it to her game but i said i wanted to hang out after..she said she had plans to hang out with her Gf's go shopping and go to a ufc party to watch the fight later with "the girls" . I was ok with this i gave her her space and free time to hang with them. BUT she said she would text me that night later maybe come over to my apartment....night goes on its 12 she never text me i text her no respons....ok next morning i text her still no response....well she lives about 45 min away from me where i used to live near my parents house so i decide to go visit my parents and stop by her house see if she is ok...I arrive at her house and in front of it i see a truck i have never seen before, she isnt home and inside i have a bad fealing about everything....i look in the truck at the title and it says ADAM.. adam is her ex BF 3 years ago that cheated on her and go another girl pregnant...i get very upset go to my friends house ask him to investigate with me..but he is sleepingand passed out cause he didnt get home till 8am from partying the last night so i go back to her house as i pull in the car drives away. He see's me and does a U turn..and we stop in front her house i get out we yell and are about to fight ...she runs out of the house crying and tells me to stop. I asked her ARE you cheating on me...she starts crying..tells me she want s a break. i ask her to choose me or him she tells me she just wants a break ... i leave he goes in the house with her. Later she calls me to come back...this is where i feel like an idiot..like a dog that is kicked and i come back for more. She tells me she doesnt want to break up she just wants a break...I TELL HER NO!! break means BREAK UP ...why cant she work through things..a real TRUE relationship takes alot of work..she ask for a break, but then i tell her no she promises me she will communicate and work with me.But next few days she basically ignores me...when i call her alot and text her because im worried about her she told me..." JEEZ why are u blowing up my phone".... she never even thinks at all...maybe that i am worried i really love and care about her. Its been a week now i am soo lost, soo confused...WHAT is WRONg with me?? i am soo HURT, so lonely...i dont want to be with any1 else in this entire world...when i said i loved u i meant it from the bottom of my soul...my everything.

Sounds like a typical teenage relationship to me.I know you probably thought you guys had that "special connection" or whatever, but the problem with teenage relationships is that anything can change from one day to the next.Sounds like she's decided to pick it back up with her ex. I doubt there's much you can do about it except move on.And you will move on eventually, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.

so what..is this i am nieve? was it all ake a lie damn it

No, it's just part of being a human.The tricky part in life is trying to find that one person who you care for and can get along with forever. Especially during the teenage years (with hormones and all), most people you (not you in particular, but you in general) date will seem like that one person to you. Sometimes it actually does turn out that way (people usually refer to it as "marrying your high school sweetheart"), but most of the time it does not.You thought this person was the one, but it turns out she didn't feel the same way. It's not something that's necessarily your fault, it's just a part of life.Live and learn.I don't think it would be worth going after this girl now. She seems to have chosen a different path than you.Of course it's also possible that she's possibly scared of being in a comitted relationship for so long or something like that. If that's the case, you may want to try to work with her on that, but most of the time you're fighting a losing battle.Live and learn, as they say.

Oh honey, that's terrible. Even though I think you should talk to her and work things out, I can't help but think what she did was really sneaky. I mean, why the heck would she have her ex at her house without you knowing? She doesn't explain herself and instead, cries on how she wants a break. I know you feel bad enough, but I don't have good ideas on what she and her ex did alone in her house.Talk to her calmly, and see what happened. If I were in your shoes, I would want to know why she was alone with him. Maybe there may be hope to repair your relationship. But I also suggest preparing for the pain that comes with a breakup.If things don't end the way you wanted, learn from this and move one. Like the others said, this is just life, meaning not everything goes out way. We have to experience the negative things also. You'll learn to love again.Best of luck to you!

ok few things..1st. i dont stalk her....i came into town to visit my parents and see if she was ok...never broke or entered into her house nothing like that. i just came by to see if she was ok because she proceeded to ignore me and make me worry.2nd.... yes i know it was wrong to open that door of the car and see the title to see who it belonged to...but u know when u get that feeling inside that something is terribly wrong? the truck looked like a boy truck...it had stickers and stuff in the windshield that made me think of adam3rd....i found out what happened. apperently saturday night when she told me she was going to the UFC party with the " GIRLs" she brought adam with her and they hung out...her parents were also out of town that night and apperently he spent night at her house slept over in her bed..she said she never had sex with him...BUT DAMN IT!!!! FUCK it really pisses me OFF!!! i dont like another guy sleeping in the bed i always do when i spend the night with HER!!! ERR and why would she ignore me all day and night??? and invite him with her and to spend that night.. ;(anyways its been a week...she says she wants a break havnt heard from her....i texted her today... my text wrote "idk how you can just walk away like that...it still hurts me alot"I dont understand at all, honestly its soo stupid so selfish of her, i dont understand, its driving me crazy. ive been out now thurs..fri...sat this week drinking ...binge drinking to get her off my mind, going to the clubs, i even got a few numbers and danced with girls but i really dont care about any of these girls i am meeting, i just want my baby, she made me soo happy.

heh also..i texted he rthat like 10 hrs ago.no response.
But u know what im done looking like an idiot so im gonna wait a while b4 i say anything back to her again...if she had any comom decency she would text me back.
its so irritating when i was texting her alot and calling her.. because she was ignoring me and not telling me what her status was... Its not like i monitor her and dont trust her. I just expect a 1x a day hey im ok my day was good and yours? But no if im worried and i try to see if your ok apperently ..this is her exact words.. " why the fuck are you BLOWING up my phone?? JEEZ"

everything used to be a fairytale but now i dont feel it anymore, i dont feel that she loves me anymore it was all fake all a lie

nothing too illegal lol, im 18 just drink and party, get my mind off her cause if im sober i think about her every hour

I don't think it's fair to say "typical Teenage Relationship". Fact is, ALL relationships are susceptible to the same pressures "from one day to the next".I say unto you, date and be merry. If you loved her and had the capacity to love her, and she threw you away, then obviously someone else in the world deserves you, and it sure as hell isn't her. You're a good guy, to be worried. But, it isn't your place anymore.Consider yourself free to find better. Believe me, there's always something better.I went through a similar situation with my ex last November. I was ready to move on by December, and fully on February.

Quote:apperently he spent night at her house slept over in her bed..she said she never had sex with him...Okay, to be frank, that's fucking bullshit. Then what possible good reason why would he spend the night with her?  Quote:i texted her today... my text wrote "idk how you can just walk away like that...it still hurts me alot"Again, that's complete shit. How were you the one who walked away when she was the one wanting a break? In fact, she walked away when she doesn't answer your messages and leaves you in the dark with the situation.I can understand why you're pissed and I'd be the same. I have no idea how she could possibly believe you would react differently when she'e seeing her ex behind your back. I mean, what did she expect?I don't know. If you want to work it out with her, then please do. In my honest opinion, if she doesn't talk to you soon, I'd walk and never look back.

Iv said it on here many many times, in many threads, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new.replace her, forget her, cut your losses, be done with her and move on.

Damn my pathetic reading skills. :angry: Thanks for pointing that out.

My apologies to everyone.

so what a rebound??its not even like that, ive been going out drinking dancing, flirtying and getting numbers but honestly I DONT WANT ANY1 else in this entire world, i feels wrong to me... and u know what she said se wanted a break i said ok but we need boundaries and rules...she told me i can drink, smoke and kiss any girls whenever i want...FUCK what kinda bullshit is that ??"IF" she honestly loved me we would have boundaries...not go around kissing other people...its soo irritating

Love is fake isnt it? what we had was fuck it was all a lie wasnt it?what is the point in giving some1 your all 100% trusting when all they do is hurt you? Fuck she knows i have abandonment issues, my real mom abandoned me when i was 5 and i stayed at an orphanage till i was 8 and was adopted, i HAVE fucking trust issue's, I should have know she was out to LIE TO ME, CHEAT Me, she PURPOSELY WANTED TO HURT ME from the beginning. I hate her more then anything in this world, almost as much as i hate my real mom, but still i love her more then anything in this world despite all that happened

I'm really sorry honey but it sounds like you'll be a lot happier when you cut her off from your life. :frowning:

Trust me, you're not the only one in the world who feels the same as you. Others have been cheated on or felt that their first love was "the one". I went down that road myself. The pain is going to suck balls, but in time, your wounds will heal. And then you'll love again. Love sucks at times like these but it's also worth trying to find someone else.

Maybe she really wasn't the one for you, but you'll find someone more worthy for your love and respect and she will do the same. You're still young and have your whole life ahead of you.

Whatever you do, I wish you the very best of luck!

I don't think it's fair to say "typical Teenage Relationship". Fact is, ALL relationships are susceptible to the same pressures "from one day to the next".That is true, but the way the situation was handled (her doing it behind his back, then saying she wants a break, and now ignoring him) sounds very teenage-erish to me.> apperently he spent night at her house slept over in her bed..she said she never had sex with him...Come on, do you really think she was going to tell you "yes, I had sex with my ex behind your back"?It doesn't take a genius to figure out why he was spending the night.And besides, even if nothing happened, it's still a little odd to have your EX spend the night at your house.Please don't lie to yourself and say "oh, I'm sure nothing happened" ...> binge drinking to get her off my mindBad idea. Do your life a favor and don't binge drink, too many people have died from doing that, and over what? Some girl that cheated on you behind your back? That's not worth it, is it?> DONT WANT ANY1 else in this entire world, i feels wrong to meYou don't want anyone else in this entire world right now. It feels wrong to you right now. You feel like shit now, but after some time you'll have moved on.> but we need boundaries and rules...she told me i can drink, smoke and kiss any girls whenever i wantSounds like she may be keeping you around as a backup, in case things don't work out with her ex... is that what you want to be? A backup to some girl while you just wait around until she calls? I hope you want better for yourself than that.> Love is fake isnt it? what we had was fuck it was all a lie wasnt it?It's not fake. I don't know if what you guys had was a lie, but I doubt it. For some reason her feelings changed, or it's possibl that SHE never got over her ex completely.> what is the point in giving some1 your all 100% trusting when all they do is hurt you?That's the risk you take with trusting people. Sucks, but that's the way it is.> I should have know she was out to LIE TO ME, CHEAT MeNow you're just angry. There's no way you could've known this was going to happen. I understand why you're mad, but don't start blaming yourself. This has all happened because of stuff SHE did, not you.> she PURPOSELY WANTED TO HURT ME from the beginning. I can't say for sure, but I would guess that this isn't true. I bet she was happy with etc. etc. and just developed feelings for her ex again... again, it happens. Unfortunately.I know this sounds impossible, but try to let her go. Honestly, even if you guys did figure this out and got back together, it would never be the same. You would never give 100% again because you know there is a chance she'll just break your heart... again.

Ty alot guys yah its hard its really hard, idk how to get my mind off her...no another girl from a party wont work i tried.

but honestly....
what do you guys think happened? do u think they had
sex? fuck seriously it bugs me, she told me she didnt told me they didnt do any of that...but its soo hard to know what the truth is!! all i want is closure i want to know, damn it.

lol this reminds me of that rascal flats song..." what hurts the most is being soo close, having soo much to say , and watching you walk away"

FUCK THE OTHER GUY LIVES JUST AS FAR AS I DO !!! HE LIVES NEAR ME!!! AHH seriously 45 min isnt that bad and if me and other guy lives same distance ...why didnt she call me

It's getting more painfully obvious that she's still into her ex.

IF YOU think there is no such thing as love and its all a bunch of bullshit, raise your hand!! ... Slowly raises Handsfuck myabe im becoming more and more idk....hmm what is the word for it negative now, fuck love there is no such thing, ive come to the conclusion now that i was naive, lied and tricked into thinking i was in "LOVE" there is no such thing...because love in my opinion is suppose to = monogomy!!!! IDK if i spelt that right but Monogomy..means you are with that person and that 1 person only. Fucking bullshit right? who gives a dam nright??i can go on with my life ill make my self better get better pussy right? because the world is all about me and what I WANT..not about "US", its all about me look outfor myself