OK, so, as some of you may know, and the majority not, I'm in a [wheel]chair, right?
So, anyway, it's been all good for most of my 16 years, so far. But recently, I went to see my physician, and she said that I had, like, a few problems with my back and such. And i didn't really think that it was all that big a deal, but she said I might need to get one of those "back jacket" things, ya? (If you don't know, it's essentially a torso/body brace to keep your back straight, I think :grin:). So anyway, that's to correct, or at least try to correct, the scoliosis in my back, so I don't have to get back surgery, so I get to go see a specialist in Sep. to get his diagnosis.
Now, I've always known that i had scoliosis, it's a package deal with the disease i gots, but I never really thought about it. I guess, that this kinda made me feel, like I really AM in a chair, and it's not just my legs that are messed up, ya? But that's only the half of it.
I also seem to have hip displaysia, yes, what lotsa big dogs get, so my phys. gave me a precrip for osteo. meds. and those are working fine. And I also have something else going on for me, thats not good at all, but I cant' remember that at the moment.
So, my reason for typing all of this, is that, I feel like, I really am, not to restate a said...sentence... :scream_cat:, but limited. I always thought of myself, as just my legs didn't work, that i got lucky with this disease, and i kinda did, i have a chromosomal abnormality with the type of dis. im supposed to have, but anyway, and it feels like it hit it home, and its been making me feel like crap inside, knowing that one day, in the possibly near future, i will need back surgery.(my dad just talked to my doc, and she said it's likely i will). I can't really put it out of my mind, even when im doing something fun. it pokes at the back of my head, quite alot, and i just, don't want to think about it, but if i hear something or see something relevant, it pops back in. Now I'm not saying that im depressed or anything, its not that bad, but i just don't want to feel like crap. i can't really explain how i feel about this, i even talked to my really good friend, and she did cheer me up, and i guess it did help, that she told me that i had it better than her bf's bro (brain cancer, he recently died), and im not taking, or saying that im worse than he is/was, and she understood, and i am grateful that i don't have anything worse than this, but i cant really explain how it feels. it's, hard, i guess. i don't know.
sorry for typing so much, but i felt that i had to say this somewhere where people would understand, and i could talk about it all. thanks, truly.