Giving to the poor?

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How do you know if the person is sincere or not? We have many people in our neighborhood that ask for money and are homeless and poor. And I guess I'm kind of naive because of some of the people I give to are known for using drugs. So it's like... I don't know. There's this one lady who goes around asking for a dollar but her clothes are nicer than mine. Why would I give her a dollar? But then there are other guys who really need the money and it's really confusing. My mom suggested I just by them food but last time I did that the man got upset at me? I don't understand what his problem with he said he was hungry and needed money so I bought him a lunch from the deli and he took it walked away and threw it out. I was like wow...I don't like seeing people suffer especially in that way and I really do try to help in the best way possible but I don't want to give to those who are just going to use it buy drugs and assume those that really do need for food are going to buy drugs. Get what I'm saying?

It's hard to tell becasue some use the "homeless card" as a scam to get free money. Others would rather buy booze or drugs than food as was apparent buy the guy who got pissed at you for giving him food.

my mom never gives them money. we have ocassionaly came across a homeless person or some one sitting on the side of walmart with a sign up or somthing. my mom will buy them a food and drink and give to them. she never puts money in their hands. She has bought a shirt for a homeless guy. i have never seen a homelss lady. i mean i know there probably some but i just have never seen any.  Quote: My mom suggested I just by them food but last time I did that the man got upset at me?i'd say that sounds fishy.. someone in need shouldn't get angry if your trying to help.

lol Pinnochio!That doesn't really help me at all actually. I work REALLY hard for what I make. Teenagers aren't treated too kindly in the workplace. Especially where I work. And for me every penny counts considering I don't make that much and I'm trying my best to help my mom pay the bills and what not. It's not easy being a single parent and I'm feeling that. So I'd rather my money go towards a full stomach than a drug or drink pushing someone closer to death. So if I make a mistake it kind of is a big deal.

If she dresses nice she is getting income some place. Maybe she’s a street whore? I dk.. But if she can afford nice cloths. you don’t need a dollar from a kid. As for the man. You tried to help him and he threw it out. So don’t help him anymore.It’s harsh I know……but it is as simple as that. You Don’t want to feed their bad habit but you don’t want the suffering to suffer. it’s hard. But the truly needy.. Usually will except anything you give. Wither it be a can coke and bag of chips to a subway sandwich. @ rad.. i never thought about the illness thing. every time i've been with mom the man (a few times it's been the same one)has opened it up and ate it right off.

Maybe you could donate in other ways? You could donate money or food to more direct services that help the homeless and will also make sure it gets used in the best way possible, and to the people who really want and appreciate it. You may not necessarily be helping the people you walk by everyday but atleast you'll feel better knowing that at the end of the day its getting to the right people and being used for what you meant.

In Pinnochio, Jiminy Cricket would always tell him "let your conscious be your guide."

I think you're on the right track. If they say they need money for food, you give them food. If the need is legit, they will thank you for it. If not, they were lying to you.I've actually spent a lot of time with homeless people in places like Boston and Houston. I got to hear a lot of stories of people in real need. They were always thankful for what they were given, whether it came in a sealed package or not. I think Rad made some good points also. Remember that when Jesus fed the hungry and healed the sick, we don't see him grilling them as to why they were sick or hungry, he just met the need as he saw it. (Of course, being Jesus, he knew what the real need was.)

I admit to being kinda fucked up about this but I give 'em money I don't give a shit what they do with it.

I figure if a bottle is the only place they can escape something or find what seems to be a bright spot, who am I to judge. What somebody else does with their life is none of my business. I've even gone as far as giving one old wine-o a couple of bottles of wine that had been hanging around my house for years and years. Ya never saw such a happy person.

I know I'm enabling but I don't give a shit. I don't have the resources to turn this persons life around nor, to be quite honest, the desire. But, I do know when your at rock bottom all you want to do is escape, even if for a little while. If somebody's means of escape is in the bottom of bottle... well as I see it, I don't have a problem with them escaping into that bottle even if it's what put them in misery in the first place.

From my experience the most important thing when your at rock bottom is a break from being down there. For myself I used to waste money on movies. I would see the same thing for the tenth time. I would have rather had that escape than have eaten. So I did without food and avoided the misery that my life was, at that time, by watching movies over and over and over.

I might make a different decision about this than you, but I certainly agree with what seems to be at the heart of what you're saying. Whatever I give them - food, money, liquor - there's little chance that what I've done will have a fundamental impact on their life. I guess it could, but I'm not betting on it. What I can bet on though is that it impacts me. When I give selflessly (which I admit is rare) then it has an impact on me. And it's not just about feeling good. I wouldn't give you crap for "feeling good". But I grow when I do that kind of thing. It gets my head out of my own a$$.

Originally Posted By: OldFolksIf somebody's means of escape is in the bottom of bottle... well as I see it, I don't have a problem with them escaping into that bottle even if it's what put them in misery in the first place.I get the logic behind that, I really do, but I don't really see alcohol, a depressant, helping people who are already in a constant state of negativity. You could just make things worse.Of course, you also did help them escape from things for a bit, but the depressant part puts me off the idea.

I rarely give anyone anything, I have to be in a real peculiar mood. Why? There are better ways to contribute to society. Volunteer in a homeless shelter, fundraise, make stuff and give it to them (design a blanket). I know panhandling can bring in more money than I make working my ass off, so I'm definitely not going to contribute toward their next "fix." I also do not like people asking me for money.

Err.. you try walking a couple of blocks in the ghettos and projects of New York and you'll be saying something different.I get little children coming up to me sometimes asking for money. I usually just by them food from Mickey D's or something which they are grateful for but some of them are actually working for drug dealers too. It's depressing. Wondering how they ended up that way. Parents who abandoned them MAINLY teenage girls. And the cops? Chillin at the Donut shop on Central Ave. Or passing out 100 dollar tickets to old people.

Quote: Jiminy Cricket would always tell him "let your conscious be your guide." LMAO!!!and that's why i call the conscious my Jiminy Cricket! but when i was a kid i calle dit my jimmy cricket cuz i couldn;t say Jiminy or conscious. I still can't say conscious very well...... yes i will alwasy be a odd fellow.

Aww that's what makes ya so darn lovable

...... i'm darn lovable

Originally Posted By: SexpertI rarely give anyone anything, I have to be in a real peculiar mood. Why? There are better ways to contribute to society. Volunteer in a homeless shelter, fundraise, make stuff and give it to them (design a blanket). I know panhandling can bring in more money than I make working my ass off, so I'm definitely not going to contribute toward their next "fix." I also do not like people asking me for money. That's well in good but, seriously, if I've not eaten in five days, how will your building a house or giving me a designer blanket help me? I personally think aid/missions/whatever you wanna call it should be less idealistic and more practical.

I give to panhandlers occasioanlly. You can't give to all of them just because there is only so much change in anyone's pocket. I try to make my judgement call as quickly and accurately as possible based on how stoned they seem (admittedly, I'm not a doctor)On the bigger picture, I belong to an oganisation that donates over $2M per day into charitable causes and askes nothing in return. I'm doing the best I can I guess

Giving them a blanket helps them when they are cold. And I did not say a designer blanket, I said, :design her a blanket." Meaning put your own artistic design on it, I did that once for a homeless Tijuana Family. Also, building a house is not the stuff that goes on in a homeless shelter. You can tutor or mentor a homeless child, feed people in the chow line, offer any type of talent you may have, etc. Japan Fan, I have seen the poorest of the poor, I'm from a third word country. Do you know what that is like? If you are like most, you have no idea. I know suffering, and I've seen the worst of the worst. Have you ever seen a man pull up to his daily piece of sidewalk, expose his maggot infested gang greened leg, and put a beggar hat out? It makes you feel sorry for the guy, but it also makes you feel like throwing up.

When my grandmother escaped to Brazil she thought it would be a "better" place only to find that it was just as bad if not worse. Not only is the rate of homeless people unbelievable there it's incredibly dangerous. Sao Paulo, Rio... kids there are born into gang violence because they have no home and that is their only way of survival. I did missionary work there. I'm only thankful that my family didn't stay to live there. So yes I do know. I know suffering because my family has been to the point where we didn't think we would make it. Every one has dealt with their own suffering and I have suffered. So please don't make assumptions.