I've had sex before and its never been an issue until this one time around xmas. I was drunk, this chick i was sorta seeing was also drunk, we went back to her place for some drunken sex, plain as that...except for the fact I couldnt keep an erection! I'd get halfway hard pretty much but not enough to start doing the deed. We eventually gave up and passed out. 2 or 3 days later we were both sober, and things were getting hot and heavy again, except i was still so embarressed from the last time, I was so worried that it would happen again...that it did.
Now its onto another girl, many months later. I have no problem with masterbation, but when it comes to sex I worry/nervous so much that I cant even keep it up.
Its just getting more and more frustrating. I'm trying to relax and let things just happen but its still bothering me. Anybody similar experiance? Anyone with some helpful tip?
Not able to preform
Welcome to A2A, option. This is a very common problem - Montaigne wrote about it in the 16th century. The solution is to tell the girl you are having some trouble at the moment with a psychological block to erection, and for neither of you to expect it. Then you do things that don't need an erection, and in time it will come back. (Probably first in a morning.)
It's a mental block. No matter what you do or how much you relax somehow you are still thinking bout your past experience of not being able to keep an erection. Like ineligible said, tell her that you are having a little problem and I'm sure she'll make some compliments about you and your manhood that will help take your mind off of things and allow you to get a full erection!
This was a big problem for me when my girlfriend and I decided we were ready for sex. I couldn't sustain erection because I was so anxious that things wouldn't go well (a bit paradoxical). Eventually enough tension built over 2-3 weeks that a "What the hell, lets do it." moment arrived and everything fell into place.
I'd say, you really need to get comfortable with the person you're with both in day-to-day interaction and in sexual contexts while naked. Also, although it might be awkward or unsexy, a little manual stimulation can help. This is still sometimes a problem for me if my girlfriend and I don't have sex for a while (~a week), and the last bit is a good solution.
Also, Ineligible as always has good advice.