Alone..

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I broke up with my boyfriend today...we have been dating for 4.5 years. We fight alot and for the last while I know we've both been unhappy. I feel like he is negative when Im an extremely positive person and he just doesn't understand me. I feel like we've grown apart. I feel like I'm a completely different person and we've lost that spark. I also feel like we're more friends than lovers.. So .. my best friend/roomie moved to Edmonton at the end of October.. so I am moving back in with my parents to save money to hopefully go back to school. I was packing on Saturday and I called him and asked him to come over and keep me company .. 3 times.. first time he said he was going to shoot around out front.. so I said whatever.. I kinda wanted him there because this guy from kijiji was coming to pick up a tv my roomie was selling. I called him a second time and he said he was going to make a pizza.. I was kind of annoyed but whatever..I finished packing a bunch of stuff and packed it into my car and asked him if he would come with me to drop it off at my parents house (they wouldnt be home)so I can unpack some things and do some laundry.. he basically asked me like 7 different questions and then was like.. you dont really need me there.. I was really pissed and hung up on him.. he didnt call me back for 6 hours.. i didnt answer.Next day comes and Im working.. he calls my work and I tell him Im too mad to talk to him right now..We had originally had plans to hang out with another couple and watch football and I said I wasnt going to go. I got home.. decided to head over because I wanted to catch up with the other couple. He didnt really acknowledge that I was mad or try to talk to me about it at all!! Anyways.. I dropped him off at home whatever..So i worked today and was going to be moving more things to my parents.. A TON.. we filled two cars. Mom told me my dad wouldnt be at home to help us with boxes so I called Josh hoping he would help. Nope.. he didnt even ask to get a ride over (no license or car).. I couldnt pick him up because I was in the process of loading my car.. So he didnt come and help. I called him on the way to my moms and we argued and then I freaked.. I said that we werent right for eachother.. that we're like best friends.. and were more friends than lovers etc. I said that he has to let me go (he always talks me into staying). I said that I deserve to be happy too. He was mad I didnt come over to talk about it but I know that if I went over he'd talk me into staying and wouldnt let me leave.. I know this is whats best for me.. but its so hard to stay strong..:(My mom and my three best friends all agree that this is whats best for me. One of my best friends who has always been behind my relationship urging me to give it another shot said that I should break it off as its just reoccurring emotional abuse. :(. They all are urging me to stay strong..The bad part is that josh got fired at work today. (hes worked there for under a month).. I feel horrible.. but I needed to do it for me and let myself be happy. I feel like a horrible bitch but my mom and 3 besties say that I am not one and I shouldnt feel bad.ugh..I dont know.. Im kind of just rambling here..I think I just need some reassurance...

Steph,Ending a relationship is not easy, especially when you've invested several years of your life in it. But ending it now when it's the right thing to do, and it appears that it is, is easier than ending it later when you've got even more time invested in it. Hang in there. You're doing the right thing.

thank you.. I needed that

I know it's ruff steph and if I had anything uplifting to add, I would. I think it's just one of those shitty parts of life we have to drag through in order to find our next smile.

I think you did the right thing. Isn't this the guy who was always a little bit critical towards you? If so, then I'm glad you ditched him.It's going to be really tough and there are going to be times you want to try and work things out. But, trust me, you will be so much better off without this guy in your life.

it is.. i feel sooo much better already:)

Just wanted to send an update:).Things are sooo much better (for me anyways). Ive never been happier in my life! I feel so free and happy to be rid of the emotional abuse. Its so nice not hearing about how fat i am, or how much of a bitch I am or how I dont do things good enough or how I should learn to get used to shit..I can finally be me again!For any of you out there who are in an emotionally abusive relationship and are too scared to leave.. get out! I promise you it gets better!

So glad to hear that the healing is going well. Sometimes you've just got to find the courage to take that first step...amd then everything else just falls into place.There's no point trying to live in an unhappy relationship. You found that out quickly. I'm happy for you.Thanks, too, for the testimony. You may be helping others that you don't even know feel comfortable about the decision that they need to make.

I'm glad things are looking up for you Steph. While leaving is never easy there is a sense of relief that eventually sets in and while it may not make things "better," in my case, it does take a great weight and worry from you.In my case, while we never really fought or had even a cross word, for that matter, the last year of my marriage I felt like I was walking around on pins and needles and the stress that put on me... Jesus I had no idea how much stress that put on me, until after it was gone. I still miss my wife terribly and while I spent New Years Eve crying myself to sleep the fact that I no longer have to worry about "what may happen or was happening" is liberating and worth the hurt. I, for one, simply never realized that amount of stress I was under until it was gone. A relationship shouldn't put that kind of stress on anyone.

I'm very glad you are out of that, Steph.

I know that 'walking on egg shells' feeling, Scotty. Hang in there.

Dang, It's too bad you put a lot of time into this relationship with the abuse you were getting.. Glad things are better...