It's so dead now...

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I randomly thought of here today and came back for a peek. It saddens me to see so few people asking questions and getting answers and just having a free place to talk. But there are also some familiar old names I see that remind me of those good days!

I haven't been here in about 5 years or so. I got married (to the guy I was with back in the day) and we have 3 children. :smile: Our oldest son is 3 and we have boy/girl twins that are almost 15 months old. I know that when they get older they might be too embarrassed to ask me the questions they have on their mind and if they are, I hope they find a place like this where they can get honest answers and no ridicule.

I just wanted to pop in and say, "Hi!"

Well hello...Yes this site has pretty much died.. It's unfortunate..

Good to hear things are going well for you!! excellent!

Just a thought. With so many capable members on the site. Have there ever been any real marketing for the site or search engine optimization done? To be honest the site is a little dated in its forum software. It can definitely turn new members away because its not very sleek. Also if you aren't familiar with computers and dont know how to avoid the pop ups, Its difficult to navigate. You'd think with all of the differing backgrounds from the loyal members of this board we'd be able to find a way to bring it back to life. You know spruce up the board topics, consolidate a few to make the board look more active. New color scheme. yadda yadda yadda. We could save the place. I know when I returned I was a little disappointed to see what little remained from the good old days.

I wish I knew how but I dont ..

To be honest, even when I registered back in '09, I was a little sad to see how few people responded to my cries for help. And once I had figured out what I needed to figure out, I up and left. Now that I've come back to check out some new threads, I'm even finding one's I read or even POSTED 1-2 years ago on the first couple pages. I really do hope we can get some more people active in the site... I'd love to read more about what other people have questions about and even give as much feedback as I can.

I think its doomed.. i still come on every day.

Well I think there are several factors in play here.First of all, the owner of this site is not really an active participant at all. His last communication here was in 2006 and I don't think anyone here has any communication with him off the boards. I think his original intention was to have this site as a means to make some money on the side. There is a thing called "Ask the Doc" where for $35 you can ask him a medical question. I don't know if that ever worked for him.I haven't even been to the main A2A site in a few years until this morning... The huge A2A header is terrible. I don't think it's changed in years although I see there is store now that is linked through Amazon.However, I think the biggest issue is that this site was rather unique in it's heyday. This site provided info on various topics and people stuck around and socialized... Now, there is a ton of info on various websites... But it's my opinion that the explosion of social websites like Myspace, Facebook, Twitter etc. have drawn the crowds away. With no one socializing, the board seems dead. And it is dead for the most part. Heck, I remember when I had to make a Chit-Chat thread because people were constantly posting off-topic personal conversations in threads.. Socializing plus a few colorful characters and people stick around and participate.. I just don't think this site can fill that niche anymore.

You definitely have a point. I left this site for many years after MySpace and Facebook came around. I think the site is still very unique in a lot of ways. You can't go on Facebook and start a penis size thread or ask those embarrassing questions you may have had. Sure there are sites like WebMD and others with forums out there, but they are so commercials. A2A still allows for a greater sense of anonymity and hosts a lack of judgement that is difficult to find anywhere else on the web. Maybe its the niche group that had been created here.This site is a true testament to so a social experiment. There are so many loyal visitors and many who disappear and years later check in still expecting people to remember them. No other site offers that (Especially an anonymous one, albeit, many identities have been learned over the years, even a wedding came of this site if I remember correctly). I think this place could have a life again. Granted the owner probably doesn't even know he's still paying for the .com or paid for several years and simply forgot about it. As when I first joined the site some of those guides were still in progress and well its been quite awhile. But I think with a few updates and a little rebranding this site could be something again. It would be nice it the doc had a renewed interest. Eh, maybe we should buy the .com from him lol.

As I've said more than once, in similar discussions, and even mailed the doc about, the forum needs to be the first page and the rest of site needs to be links across the top of the page. The set-up of this site is for the 90s where you looked up information and read (the main part of this site), then go and discuss if you still have any questions (the forum). Shit doesn't work that way anymore. With the proliferation and normalization of social media people would be more likely to first go to a forum to ask their question then, if at all, research from there. So this site is set up backward. When people come to A2A I imagine many of them are put off by the static, staid and disassociated nature of the main page never staying long enough to look at the forum, much less know it exists. While I don't think making a change, such as I have describe, by itself would return this site to the heady days of yore, I do think it would go long ways to breathing life back into this dried out corpse of a site. But alas, if the doc doesn't care, there's the end of it.

Ever get a response? Just odd since the guys paying for it, and at least updated the copyright text on the homepage to reflect 2011.The website itself surely would scare new people away. ads randomly placed and abruptly placed pictures of genitals definitely makes it looks like a mix between a porn site and a scammer site. The life of the website has always been the forums, and it could still exist in the form of an anonymous social networking site.But we shouldn't be so down on the site. Regardless, the site has less active members however the few that do visit are still being helped and are learning, and in the end isn't that what matters?

No, I never got a response. Having said that, I'm not 100% positive of exactly what I sent him. I am pretty sure it was something akin to my previous post.

unfortunate, yes. I know I’m one of the ones that disappeared, I randomly visit, and rarely post. I can say with out a doubt that I’m not too sure how things would have been if I hadn't joined A2A and the people that helped and encouraged me. I've changed both mentally and physically. I can actually grow a beard now haha... life is so much happier Before I “left” A2A I had talked to Pete a few times that I wanted to post about the abuse and rapes. I started a few times but didn’t go trough it cus I wasn’t ready yet. What’s stopping me now? I have no control over how I’ll react and fear of being triggered back into my past. In therapy most times now I can talk about the past with no emotion what so ever, almost as if my mind and feelings are completely turned off. If my fear of triggers didn’t out weigh me shutting off my emotion then - or if I knew I could control them then I would do it with no second thoughts. I’ve been thinking about it all again especially after reading Stupid man’s post about his ex that has died. (to Stupid_man and hope you don’t mind- if you do ask Pete to delete this next part…) I talked to you pretty regularly when you were with him. I remember him and talked to him too… ( will call him your ex cus I don’t want to use his name) I had no idea he was doing that to you. I knew you two had your problems but …well I just never knew you were as miserable as I was. The internet was my escape and I wasn’t allowed friends. I even kept my internet friends from her. She despised Paul and got me into trouble every chance she could with dad over talking to him. She turned Paul into the monster in my dad’s mind. When the computer went off…… especially when Ryan was gone I was being raped. Some how in my 14 / 15 year old mind I thought if I stayed on the net she wouldn’t mess with me. Like when Ryan was around she wouldn’t try to mess with me. Maybe she knew something I didn’t ever think about but have since and looking back - I cant figure it out but I dk why I had that mind set. Hell broke loose after I told my brother and we told my parents about the party he had. Part of me wished I never joined A2A and part of me was glad I blew up on the site. The bad things started getting worse but good things began to happen too. I know I wouldn’t have stuck around A2A with out the people I had met and maybe would have never ever met them if I hadn’t blew up. I used to let it bother me that I was thought of as a troll but not anymore. If it helps you sleep better to think I’m a troll so be it… I was 21 before I could go to sleep with out taking pills. I know how it is to not be able to sleep or worse to develop a dream phobia. I never thought I’d make it through my teens and now I’m 22 and soon will graduating from collage in May 2012. Next fall I’ll start student teaching…

Originally Posted By: *CR!*unfortunate, yes. I know I’m one of the ones that disappeared, I randomly visit, and rarely post. I can say with out a doubt that I’m not too sure how things would have been if I hadn't joined A2A and the people that helped and encouraged me. I've changed both mentally and physically. I can actually grow a beard now haha... life is so much happier And you deleted that PM you sent me from a new account I was going back to reply and it was gone.. I'm glad things are looking up for you.

i didn't delete it... i had to email Pete and get things fixed. the rhino account was deleted and that’s why the pm left. I couldn’t log in either and i had to get Pete to change my email cus i forgot my password and the email i had my CR! account with i no longer use and don’t exist anymore. I wasn’t too happy when rhino got deleted… The deletion meant my posts got deleted (not a big deal though) and I couldn’t read your pm reply - that’s what I was most upset about. ps- I liked Rhino better than i do CR! lol

Its weird how this board affected my life off of the board. I definitely understand exactly what you are saying in your post. I only let one person from the "real world" in on this site, well he is dead now. This site is really a private escape that I have used over the years and is great to have. I remember when it was even difficult to post on here, or write things that weren't "completely honest" because I was even ashamed of strangers. A few of us were lucky to be the first (and essentially the last) to have grown up on the boards. I am not grateful for many things (as I am a cocky bastard) but this site was there through the thick and the thin. In reality my ex was only a small portion of my life, now years later barely flickering on my radar. Without a site like this which helped me through it, maybe I would have dwelled longer. CR hopefully you'll stick around. It was all of our incessant back and forth banter that really helped this site get off the ground in the first place!

While I didn't by any means grow-up here, this site has meant a lot to me in a different way. By the time I came here the crises of my youth had already been, for the most part, dealt with and put away. However, this place was important to me to, at least for awhile, develop friendships. I have a crippling fear (that's not the right word).... inability to interact with people. Something I still sufferer from. Somehow it's different at this place though. For a few brief shining years I had a circle of friends that I could talk to on a almost daily basis, and that's something I've never really experience, that much in my life, and it's something for which I'm enormously thankful. Jesus Christ, this sounds like eulogy. It is ironic for me that over last six months, with the ending of my marriage, when I have really, really needed this place it's to dead to bother even stopping by. Yes, fate is a cruel bitch.

Scotty you know I will always be here if you ever need to talk. ANYTIME I promise!

Originally Posted By: OldFolksYes, fate is a cruel bitch. Agreed, fate is cruel indeed. Wish I could do something for you to make it better. hugs hang in there buddy things will get better for sure. I am here for you if you need me.