Him or me? An escape from/to what?Apparently those requirements are important to him. We were chatting and things I just don't understand. He listed as a lack of career (he knew this before we met) made us a bad match and so did my lack of trust (I've none him a pretty short period of time), my fear of having children (I guess all when are suppose to have the natural desire to want children and think they will be good mothers and have the stamina and money to do it), he's a freak and I'm not (it's odd that he can tell my sexual taste when we got close under bad circumstance. I was so uncomfortable, I barely knew him and felt so outside myself. I had never went that far on a first date).I feel used. What's wrong with me? When we chatted earlier he talked about how he really liked me, how we had chemistry.... I even tried to tell him to forget marriage, but at least a committed relationship. I just need to feel ready, I have to want to do it, but I guess he wanted instant or no relationship. He even didn't think that both people need to want to have sex in order to have sex; one person's desire was enough. Also that trust isn't necessary and humans have an automatic desire to have sex. Well what's wrong with me? I must have missed getting that natural instinct. I feel like after he realized that he wasn't going to get any farther with me, he didn't even want to try. He really tried to "motivate" me. We did the whole get naked and touch each other thing every time he came over. He's a stud I guess, he can find a decent woman anywhere. Anyone like me has to suffer through impatience and people being not genuine.When we were chatting he kept 'lol'ing and it made me sad and angry. i wasn't trying to make joke; I was also angry and sad before. It's like it's not a big deal to him, like it's not supposed to be painful and I'm sitting in front of my laptop and crying off and on during the convo. I really like/liked him and wanted to be with him. I like his smile and looking into his eyes, and the way he smelled, and his accent. I just want a chance! I felt like a pathetic, begging loser. it's the 'let's run from the virgin syndrome' 'cause she not eager for sex and if we have sex I'll get clingy and commit suicide when we break up. Bitch, shut the fuck up! Ugh! Humans confuse me. I feel like I'm not even human. I don't understand all these desires I'm supposed to have and don't have. Sex is like this natural desire where you don't need trust or even have to really like someone. You just do it like animals do, it's casual. Then where do I fit in? What am I?