Argument about neighbor showing his gun

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Hi,Just you let you guys know a little bit about me. I'm a 20 year old student at Arizona State University and I have a wife and a 11 month old son. I spend my time between campus and a town an hour away where my wife and son stay at. I have a small condo next to my university which I stay at from Monday to Thursday going to classes and work, and then on Fridays I go and spend time with my wife and son who live in an apartment I have recently set up.So as I said, I set up this apartment deal recently and today it came to my attention that at the complex, our neighbor owns a gun. My wife called me after I got off work and she told me that she gave the neighbors some baby food that our son doesn't eat anymore since they have a 4 month old baby. Apparently three people around my age live there with the baby. The father of the baby answered the door, and he happened to be someone my wife had a class with her senior year of high school. When she handed him the stuff, he put his hand on top of the box of food, and it was revealed that he had a gun in his hand.When she told me this, she kind of laughed about it like it was no big deal. Personally for me, it was a big deal. I mean not in a big deal kind of way where I'm about to move my family out of that complex or call the cops on him to see if it is a legal gun, but I mean it certainly did raise an alarm. I mean come on.. I lived in downtown Chicago and I have been in Los Angeles and other large cities where theoretically it may seem more dangerous to live at, but I have only seen 3 guns in my entirely life. I'm not including guns I've seen on law enforcement of course..After she laughed about it, I asked her what the hell, are you not worried about this? Her answer was practically, "no" and "I went to class with this guy, I know him." So we got in an argument where I basically questioned how she can laugh about this or not even slightly worry. I mean hell, she only had one class with this guy, she didn't hang out with him or anything, you can't even say they are "friends" in any way, shape, or form. My wife even made it almost seem like guns are a normal thing to see.When you listen to the news about someone who committed a crime, you hear all these comments from that person's neighbors saying that they "never knew he had it in him" or they thought "he was a nice guy" or whatever. And my wife sits there and tells me that she "knows" this guy that she barely has even interacted with? I mean first of all, this guy apparently claims he is trying to become a police officer. Didn't realize one of the ways to become a cop requires you to show your gun. I mean I'm not against having firearms, but clearly guns are NOT a normal thing to see from a normal citizen. As a "normal" or "sane" person, I would think they would at least keep the gun concealed. But no, this guy apparently thinks it is normal and okay to flash his gun around, so he pulls it out and clearly makes it visible for my wife to see.Come on, the town I live in is clearly not crimeland. The complex we live in is far from being considered "ghetto." Hell, we're next to a very nice and newly built high school. I would understand if this was 2 o'clock in the morning, but this happened when it wasn't even totally dark outside. So to me, this person is slightly off. I mean does he really think a gun is like a toy or a wallet? Does he think that the sight of a gun is not going to make people react differently? As a courtesy, at the very least, could he have just kept the gun in his pants? So I mean, considering what I find "normal people" in Arizona, I don't consider his actions to be "normal" hence why I felt quite shocked about this whole incident.Look, I'm not trying to make my wife absolutely paranoid, but I don't see why she isn't acting the same way about this. She keeps telling me "I know him" or making it seem like guns are a normal thing. At the same time, I'm not paranoid like "wow, we need to install a metal front door with 20 locks on it, and we have to replace all the windows with bullet-proof glass." I am worried, and my aggravation has also come from my wife's reaction to this.Any comments on this issue is greatly appreciated.

Welcome to A2A, Kazak!

I think this is a cultural thing. I don't like guns myself, but for some people it is normal to have them around. It does seem strange that he had it in his hand under those circumstances, though.

I think you are overreacting, but it is odd to answer your front door while holding a handgun.. I would put it down before going to the door.

Originally Posted By: IneligibleWelcome to A2A, Kazak!I think this is a cultural thing. I don't like guns myself, but for some people it is normal to have them around. It does seem strange that he had it in his hand under those circumstances, though.  Originally Posted By: sdpI think you are overreacting, but it is odd to answer your front door while holding a handgun.. I would put it down before going to the door. Well that is exactly why I had an issue with this. I don't see why he wouldn't keep it in his pants or at least put the gun away somewhere else... I mean the place where we live is certainly not somewhere where you see guns everyday or even every year.Yes I might be overreacting, but I have a son and a wife that live next to this guy, and clearly he did something abnormal.

Like Ineligible said, it's a culture thing. For gun lovers, having a gun in had at all times isn't any different than holding a cup of coffee in their hand. That's just the way they think, at least that's been my experience living in the back woods and dealing with such folks all my life. It doesn't necessarily mean anything.Keep in mind, their may be extenuating circumstances you are unaware of. Maybe this guy had an altercation with someone in the car on the way home and he thought they followed him or something. Maybe he was walking by the door and while going to get the gun to clean it and when your wife knocked he just automatically reached and opened the door without thinking he had a gun in his hand (remember, like I said, for gun lovers having a gun in had is as normal as a cup of coffee). Or, especially if he's going to be a cop (yeah I'm going to paint with a broad brush and castigate all pigs at once) he wants people to know he's armed, tuff, and somebody not to mess with (Which I find to be a typical cop attitude) so he flashes the gun whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Originally Posted By: OldFolksLike Ineligible said, it's a culture thing. For gun lovers, having a gun in had at all times isn't any different than holding a cup of coffee in their hand. That's just the way they think, at least that's been my experience living in the back woods and dealing with such folks all my life. It doesn't necessarily mean anything.Keep in mind, their may be extenuating circumstances you are unaware of. Maybe this guy had an altercation with someone in the car on the way home and he thought they followed him or something. Maybe he was walking by the door and while going to get the gun to clean it and when your wife knocked he just automatically reached and opened the door without thinking he had a gun in his hand (remember, like I said, for gun lovers having a gun in had is as normal as a cup of coffee). Or, especially if he's going to be a cop (yeah I'm going to paint with a broad brush and castigate all pigs at once) he wants people to know he's armed, tuff, and somebody not to mess with (Which I find to be a typical cop attitude) so he flashes the gun whenever the opportunity presents itself. I do understand this, but I mean I know good friends who were in the military, who are in law enforcement or who go hunting all the time and never once have I seen them show their guns purposely or accidentally.The three times I have seen a gun on regular citizens, have been pretty much from random people from previous jobs I have held and all three of them ended up in jail or some kind of probation, so considering my personal experience, I thought that he could be up to no good.

But consider, for people in the military, law enforcement or hunters a gun may be regarded simply as tool. Just because their job or hobby uses a gun doesn't make them a "gun lover," as I am talking about anyway, of course it doesn't eliminate them from being "gun lovers" either.Gun lovers, of which their are a lot, are a sect unto themselves and what would be considered reasonable brandishing of a firearm to them seldom fits with the preponderance of societies norms. 99% of the time they mean no harm, that's just the way they are. That part of their personality seems to be more a part of a political ideology than anything, at least that's what I've found. My first bet, on his answering the door with a gun in his hand, is it was in his hand and he was next to the door (relatively) and simply reached out to answer the door. Simple coincidence. My second bet is that he wants to be a big, tough, guy that the neighbors know not to mess with because he's armed. That doesn't make him particularly dangerous as a predator of sorts, just more of a dick with a inferiority complex. I wouldn't worry about him being a psycho, at least based on this solitary incident. Watch some of his other patterns and get a better feel for the person overall.

Originally Posted By: OldFolksBut consider, for people in the military, law enforcement or hunters a gun may be regarded simply as tool. Just because their job or hobby uses a gun doesn't make them a "gun lover," as I am talking about anyway, of course it doesn't eliminate them from being "gun lovers" either.Gun lovers, of which their are a lot, are a sect unto themselves and what would be considered reasonable brandishing of a firearm to them seldom fits with the preponderance of societies norms. 99% of the time they mean no harm, that's just the way they are. That part of their personality seems to be more a part of a political ideology than anything, at least that's what I've found. My first bet, on his answering the door with a gun in his hand, is it was in his hand and he was next to the door (relatively) and simply reached out to answer the door. Simple coincidence. My second bet is that he wants to be a big, tough, guy that the neighbors know not to mess with because he's armed. That doesn't make him particularly dangerous as a predator of sorts, just more of a dick with a inferiority complex.I wouldn't worry about him being a psycho, at least based on this solitary incident. Watch some of his other patterns and get a better feel for the person overall. This guy is a skinny white guy and my wife claims that he was a jerk in high school, so I think the gun is more for covering his insecurities than anything else. Like I said, we live in a very nice complex where there are no issues, we are next to a newly built high school and the town itself isn't somewhere that has all the criminals, so really he has no general reason to be scared enough to try to protect himself. I mean of course I don't know him and his past, so he could have had some kind of previous altercation like you said. But to be fair, the doors at the complex have peepholes, so I don't see why he found it necessary to bring the gun out after seeing my wife and son at the door.Gun loving or not, I would think in general, MOST people do realize guns are going to stir some kind of negative emotion for many people. It isn't like he is holding a wallet or something.. He clearly holds a device that can take a life away.I don't know, the whole situation is just very awkward.

I'm not really sure where to begin. Personally, I would not answer my door with a gun in my hand and I think the guy may be a little "odd." Especially if he has an infant in the house. His guns need to be locked up, secured, and completely unaccessible by his child/children. I guess I will start off explaining that there are a lot of people carrying guns. Just do a quick Google search on how to conceal a handgun, and you'll quickly learn that you can hide one almost anywhere on your person and no one will ever be able to tell. I myself carry and when my friends tell people that I don't know that I am carrying a gun, they are shocked, but they are usually more fascinated as to how I am able to hide it. Remember this: gun owners don't carry guns to kill people, we carry them in the unlikely event that something bad will happen. My brother had to draw his pistol 3 times before he turned 21. Most of the time, people run or surrender at the sight of a gun and he got lucky, never having to fire it. 2 of those times he was in "safe" neighborhoods. Many universities are "gun free" zones, but that hasn't stopped people from bringing guns onto campus and adding another "mass shooting" to the history books. That's the world we live in.Second, you live in Arizona. As an AZ resident myself, I am surprised to discover that you are unaware of the gun laws. Arizona has some of the least restrictive gun laws in the country, and they have been relaxing even more in the last few years. Arizona is an open carry state, meaning that if you are 18 or older and able to legally possess a firearm, you can carry the gun on a holster as long as it is visible to everyone. You can also open carry a rifle (I have seen people with rifles slung over their backs just walking down the street). As of July 29, 2010, if you are 21 and older and able to legally possess a firearm, you can conceal carry a gun without a permit. Arizona is the 3rd state in the country to allow concealed carry without a permit. Go up to Prescott sometime. You almost can't even go to the grocery store there without seeing a non law-enforcement officer carrying a gun on their hip. Some estimates show the number of people that are carrying a gun on their person may be has high as 25% at a given location. This seems abnormally high, but you would be surprised at the number of people that "pack heat" when they are out in public.I think you need to relax a little bit. "Gun" doesn't mean crime or criminal. It is simply an instrument used for self-defense (should the issue arise) or for sport. The guy may have just been cleaning it or doing some dry-fire practice. As Oldfolks mentioned, for us "gun nuts" it is normal to have a gun in-hand. It is not related to crime, or an unstable mental condition. If you really feel uncomfortable about it, go to a gun store and ask the owner/manager about his opinions on why someone would keep a gun with them. They can explain it a heck of a lot better than I can.

If i went to my neighbours and he answered the door with a gun in his hand I would be terrified.. this is not a normal thing!! At least not for me.. Maybe its a Canadian thing..Maybe you should meet this guy and get to know him yourself.. having 1 class with someone does allow you to know of someone. unless you are constantly around them and hanging around with them.. you really don't know them.I wouldn't say its THAT big of a deal unless some things out of the ordinary start happening with him or around his house.

Originally Posted By: ImBob

I'm not really sure where to begin. Personally, I would not answer my door with a gun in my hand and I think the guy may be a little "odd." Especially if he has an infant in the house. His guns need to be locked up, secured, and completely unaccessible by his child/children.

Well that is exactly why I thought this situation to be very strange.

Originally Posted By: ImBob

I guess I will start off explaining that there are a lot of people carrying guns. Just do a quick Google search on how to conceal a handgun, and you'll quickly learn that you can hide one almost anywhere on your person and no one will ever be able to tell. I myself carry and when my friends tell people that I don't know that I am carrying a gun, they are shocked, but they are usually more fascinated as to how I am able to hide it. Remember this: gun owners don't carry guns to kill people, we carry them in the unlikely event that something bad will happen. My brother had to draw his pistol 3 times before he turned 21. Most of the time, people run or surrender at the sight of a gun and he got lucky, never having to fire it. 2 of those times he was in "safe" neighborhoods. Many universities are "gun free" zones, but that hasn't stopped people from bringing guns onto campus and adding another "mass shooting" to the history books. That's the world we live in.

Second, you live in Arizona. As an AZ resident myself, I am surprised to discover that you are unaware of the gun laws. Arizona has some of the least restrictive gun laws in the country, and they have been relaxing even more in the last few years. Arizona is an open carry state, meaning that if you are 18 or older and able to legally possess a firearm, you can carry the gun on a holster as long as it is visible to everyone. You can also open carry a rifle (I have seen people with rifles slung over their backs just walking down the street). As of July 29, 2010, if you are 21 and older and able to legally possess a firearm, you can conceal carry a gun without a permit. Arizona is the 3rd state in the country to allow concealed carry without a permit. Go up to Prescott sometime. You almost can't even go to the grocery store there without seeing a non law-enforcement officer carrying a gun on their hip. Some estimates show the number of people that are carrying a gun on their person may be has high as 25% at a given location. This seems abnormally high, but you would be surprised at the number of people that "pack heat" when they are out in public.

I think you need to relax a little bit. "Gun" doesn't mean crime or criminal. It is simply an instrument used for self-defense (should the issue arise) or for sport. The guy may have just been cleaning it or doing some dry-fire practice. As Oldfolks mentioned, for us "gun nuts" it is normal to have a gun in-hand. It is not related to crime, or an unstable mental condition. If you really feel uncomfortable about it, go to a gun store and ask the owner/manager about his opinions on why someone would keep a gun with them. They can explain it a heck of a lot better than I can.

I'm not "afraid of guns" and I certainly am very familiar with Arizona's gun laws. Also, I'm not an idiot, I obviously understand why people feel the need to be carrying guns on them :sleeping: I'm 20, not 2, so I don't why know you're telling me Google "how to hide a gun" or question my understanding of Arizona's laws as if I am naive. I lived in Arizona for 13 years, I clearly know the laws, but I certainly have never seen anyone with a rifle slung over his back. Regardless, if I really felt that uncomfortable around guns in general, I would have moved to a different state years ago.

As I said, I know plenty of people who own guns that live here in Arizona but I have never seen them carry it nor have I ever seen their guns laying around in their own home. The fact that this guy did make it visible that he has a gun at the front door was the strange part. Look, never once in this thread did I question why people should carry guns or why there are guns in the world, nor did I say somebody showing his gun correlates to him being a criminal. I'm just saying that I have never experienced this in my life where randomly a person shows a gun at the door when he obviously sees it is my wife and son.

Either way, I kind of took offense from your seemingly sarcastic/belittling post. Again, I am not 2, I am 20, I CLEARLY know what guns are for. You are answering something that I am NOT questioning. I'll say what the reason again as to why I created this thread briefly:

I have lived in Arizona for 13 years.
I have only seen 3 guns in my lifetime.
All 3 people that possessed these guns ended up in jail or some kind of probation.
I know many people who are part of law enforcement, go hunting, etc.
I have never seen their firearms outside of their homes or in their homes.
This guy shows his gun after seeing that it is my wife and son.
No, I am not questioning why people have guns.
No, I am not questioning why there are guns in the first pace.
I am questioning why this guy felt it was necessary to hold and show a gun in his hand to answer the door to my wife and son.

You are a little too quick to take offense to peoples posts.. You are reading too deep into everything. You need to step back and settle down.  Quote: I'm just saying that I have never experienced this in my life where randomly a person shows a gun at the door when he obviously sees it is my wife and son.What was "obvious" when he answered the door??? Does he have a glass door and saw that your wife and son were standing outside?

Originally Posted By: sdpYou are a little too quick to take offense to peoples posts.. You are reading too deep into everything. You need to step back and settle down.  Quote: I'm just saying that I have never experienced this in my life where randomly a person shows a gun at the door when he obviously sees it is my wife and son.What was "obvious" when he answered the door??? Does he have a glass door and saw that your wife and son were standing outside? The doors do in fact have windows on the sides, along with the peephole.Regardless, coincidentally, my wife called me earlier today because she could hear the neighbors arguing very loudly and she claims that about half an hour later a police officer showed up, handcuffed this guy and took him away. She doesn't know what happened, so I don't know what to say.

Well you're making assumptions that the guy knew or even looked at who was at the door.

Well regardless, appears like his girlfriend and whoever else lives there are moving out as well. They came over and gave us some things they didn't need and couldn't take with them for the move, however, they didn't say anything about what happened.

In the end, this is a good thing for your peace of mind.