Just wondered if anyone could help me, I'm confused. My husband of 4yrs likes to give me anal sex, likes me to use my finger or vibrator in his anus while he masterbates and now just recently he asked if he could wear my lingerie while we made love. I found it exciting yet worrying, I am afraid to find out he's bi and would like to take things further, or that he's only staying in the marriage for appearences. He's been previously married for 17yrs and he's not got pornography of any sort in the house (or his own lingerie). So can someone please help me to know if it's something that straight men do too (I don't mind, it's a turn on Rocky Horror style) but I'd be devistated if there's a chance of loosing him to extramarital sexual experimentation.
Is my husband bi?
Nothing you said would make me to believe he was bi. Performing anal on you is different than vaginal sex and means nothing. It’s tighter and considered taboo, so it could be either of those things that make him like it.
Wanting you to do stuff to him, anally, is also very normal. His prostate is the equivalent to your g-spot. So I wouldn't worry about that. It’s also taboo so it could add pleasure for him.
The lingerie, is pretty common, and could only mean he likes the way it feels and or looks. Again taboo. I’m thinkin’ he likes to do things he’s not supposed to, at least in the bedroom.
But I'd like to say that sometimes when people have suspicions about partners we instinctively know thing we can not admit to ourselves. I suggest in a non-confrontational manner, you discus you're feelings. Tell him you really enjoy the things you're doing together, and that you don’t want them to stop, you just need a little reassurance. This is more about you’re insecurity and less about what he’s doing.
Big, fat, wet, juicy smiles!
sounds like your husband knows what he likes and is willing to share it with you honestly- you're lucky.
the question to you is- do you engage him and find out what else he's interested in that he might not be telling you (maybe nothing at all, or maybe something you're afraid to hear), or do you wait for him to bring up what he may have already apprehended you don't want to hear (which, again, may not exist- however, if there is more there, do you think it would be safe to ignore it?)
At least it won't be a complete suprise if he ever comes out of the closet.
Everything looks different at 186mph!
he sounds like me (except for the lingerie, i just don't feel pretty enough) and I've been described by my wife (who has fisted me) as the "most painfully straight man" she has met.
don't worry hon!
<b>and there was light</b>
Well thanks heaps guys an gals, I feel much better now. After posting my question I spent a few hours reading old posts (should have done that first duh!) and found that it is quite common and that I really shouldn't be too worried. But as suggested I will tell him how much I enjoy it (and I do) but need reassuring. This is all new to me, my ex was a sex addict (still having it 8-10 times a week even after 21yrs together, AND he masterbated at least once a day as well) but it was just watch/read some porn then boring old positions. With my new husband I'm trying things I've only ever fantasised about, now I just need to get him to do the bad boy cop/naughty girl who will do anything to keep outta jail skit and I'll be happy. I got heaps of giggles outta reading these posts and the replies, I'm hooked now, thank you all so much!