Only want what you can't have.

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i'm going to lose it. for the past 2 years...all the guys i've dated...i can't keep a relationship. i just want them, until they are mine, or i know they can be mine and then i lose all interest. i've always known that but during the march break i started talking to this guy, who i've been crazy for since the beginning of the last school year. and finally, after a year and a half of me being mindelssly in love with him, he adores me. and now, i don't care if i ever talk to him again. its seriously a problem though. ugh. i'm sorry. this is just a rant. feedback if you like...i'm not sure what anyone can say.

It's the whole psychological thing about wanting what you can't have. I've learned that the more a girl responds to being "unavailable" for dates or whatnot, the more I will tend to like her. It's the challenge that gets me going. No one wants an easy catch, fighting for what you want is partly why we choose to go after the things harder to obtain. If you have everything you wanted, would you be happy? I say no, as striving to obtain the things we want is what keeps us going.

So very true....like i posted in the "ode to the nice guys" forum, i am currently going after a girl who has a bf of 2 years....i know it sounds crazy but i cant help it

That's like saying, "I only drink two sixes of Heineken a day, I can't help it."

(The above is based on a true story...I'm not making this up...although by the second six, the brand of beer was not as important.)

Im not sure i understand what you meant by that. I mean that i cant help goin after her, even though shes got a bf i cant help but like her so much.

that is it? two sixes...what a sissy.

I'm not saying that "you can't get what you want", I'm saying you're obsessing over something that's not good for you (in my friend's case, massive quantites of beer; in your case, pursuing a lost cause).

Sometimes pursuing (or obsessing over) a lost cause is a subconscious way of not "putting yourself out there" and risking being rejected by someone who actually is available. When you fail you can say, "it wasn't my fault...she wasn't even available". In the end, it's a waste of time, and doesn't lead to happiness.

This may sound old and tired, but it's true: try to start relationships with females who are available (like becoming friends, doing activities in mixed groups, etc). Rejection sucks when it happens, but if you meet someone you like, who likes you "that way", it's all worth it.

He would have two sixes and drive. But that's another story.

(I've played "hide the car keys" too many times...)

oh shit. Okay that is not good. I understand the story now.But my whole experience with Tara, was going after something I was never going to get.

O i gotcha......no im not waiting at all for her. I still go out with different girls and all that stuff. I search for single girls however, they either never are single, or when they r they ahve 5 cagillion guy friends already and im on the back burner. So hense im screwed. But the girl that has the bf, we're really close friends still, i just like her alot, and i know she likes me. So i cant just drop her, but if someone else came along i would reject her u know?

No, I'm not suggesting dropping her, just try not to focus romantic ideas on her. I know, easy to say, hard to do.

It's good that you're going out and doing stuff. There has to be someone somewhere who's single, and doesn't have a guy on the "back burner". (You can get burned, being on the back burner. )

Just keep trying. You'll eventually find it, when you least expect it.

Yea im tryin, thanx steve ill let u know