Ok, first off, I'm in my teens, and this is my first girlfriend(any bets on how many 'aww... so cute!' I'll get?) and I have a rather mature problem I'd suppose, and am looking for a little help.My girlfriend seems to have this strange fixation on a fetish that I don't quite have a taste for... BDSM. I'm at a loss on how to tell her how much I hate pain and the fetish's concept as a whole, and also can't come up with any compensation for it.I'm willing to try and work with it for her sake, but it's just too obvious things won't work out in the long run. She's over excited about bondage and torture and the like so much she doesn't even realize that she's never truly done it before(no toys or enough men in her life for a long enough time to actually be knowledgable. At least from what I can tell) and it's a very radical subject; you either like it or you don't, and there's no reasoning behind the preference.How can I not hurt her on something she's crazy over so much, that it comes up almost daily(when we talk/play suggestively, of course)? I'm not all that much affiliated with fetishes, being most I've seen are strange and overly complicated, so I'm at a loss as to what I could replace it with for her, and how to disagree upon something she's just freaky over.
-
Conflicting Preferences (BDSM)
-
If she hasn't really done it how does she know??? (sorry if i am being a bit thick this morning) does she really want to be tied up and hurt, or merely treated a bit rough...........
-
Well you're young, so move one, sounds like you two aren't that alike.
-
Oh hey, I thought this thread was trashed...
Thing is Angel, I get the feeling she doesn't know what it is entirely. She loves to act all bad and evil, but it comes off a bit...fake. It's sort of like shooting at little critters in your back yard, then say you were hunting tigers.
I can't tell how far she is truly is into the idea, so I suppose all that can be done is to find out. Though it would be nice to find out what she really wants through other ways.
And to Amanda: This is basically the only difference between us that could cause problems. We're both cynical, sarcastic, and quite insulting people. I don't know about your system with people, but I won't throw her away so quickly due to few reasons not yet attempted to be reconciled.
-
Shes probably thinking its great, but hasn't even tried it! I like to be treated rough sometimes, depending on the mood, but I wouldn't go as far as proper bondage etc.........maybe shes just confused as to what it is. Have you spoken to her about this?
-
The problem is, how does she give it a try to find out if she really likes it, considering that you do not share it at all, or at least, not enough to even actually endure a session just to check? Well, unless what she really likes is role-playing and her desire for BDSM ends up being just pretend, you two are going to have a big problem. In any couple, sexuality plays a big factor, whether you like it or not. If you two are completely incompatible sexually, it might be difficult for you to remain together in the long run. Good luck all the same.
-
what is bdsm??? im slow.
-
bondage dominance sadism and masochism(quote)"How can I not hurt her on something she's crazy over so much, that it comes up almost daily"well.. the main idea behind BDSM is to hurt them.. no pain, no BDSM..