More Efficient Wiping

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Ok first off yes I do wipe after taking a crap, and I do it well. I take pride in being a very clean person.

Having said that, it takes me about 5-10, or even more (like 15-20) minutes to wipe after taking a crap, and I can't help noticing other people don't seem to take so long at all. I'm thinkin maybe there's a certain tecnique to it that's faster and just as effective? I wipe (alternating between rolled-up and flat layers of tissue) and every few wipes look at it and don't stop wiping until it's 100% free of brown, is this how I should do it? I go through an obscene amount of toilet paper and I'm worried about how I go through it cause I can't afford to be using so much when I'm on my own. Not to mention people think it's weird when I come back after 15 minutes and I say I was just using the restroom.

So yeah I'm sorry this is a nasty topic, and I hate posting it, but I need a solution to this wastefulness, so please share ideas/tecniques/whatever. Thank you very much.

You sound like the anal retentive chef...but in a slightly different way.You are wasting toilet paper, and you're rubbing your anus raw. Try dampening the toilet paper. In your case, a bit of mild soap on the wet t.p. would be OK.

I have the exact same problem you do. One thing that makes it easier is something my brother does. Just take a shower after you go. This, however, isn't very practical especially in a public place.The second thing is to use baby wipes. I use those after I've gotten the main stuff with the TP. Again, still not practical in a public place unless you stuff some in a Ziploc bag and stuff them in your pocket every time you leave the house.

I think sometimes it depends on your diet. Sometimes I wipe once and I'm good to go, other times I go through half a roll of toilet paper.Bathroom wipes are the way to go now. They're specially made to be flushed, unlike most baby wipes. I actually use these in place of toilet paper, not just as a follow up. If I'm at someone's house or any place where the bathroom sink is locked in the same space with the toilet, I often wipe regularly then fold a few squares and run half under the tap.

Yikes......you are definitely obsessive. Go to the pharmacy and buy some Preparation H Wipes. They are excellent in cleaning up the residue after using 3-4 pieces of toilet paper. Paper dries tissue out and I am not surprised that you don't get itchy. If I don't feel that I am clean I use a warm wash clothe and some dove liquid soap. Squeaky clean butthole here!

Here's a thought.Shave your ass crack. Like everyone else, I too am concerned about cleanliness. I have found that regular shavings make wiping efficient and cuts down on the time.Try it!

You are definitely obsessive as Steve stated. I take three to four wipes with toilet paper and one Preparation H moistened wipe to clean up finally. There are many brands of pre-moistened towelettes that will work but this one is the best. I would also like to point out to you that the anus is a very sensitive piece of skin and if abused, which you may be doing, can develop fissures which itch and drive you crazy. It is the diet that helps to make the clean up job easier. Eat foods with lots of bulk (whole grains, fruits and vegetables) and stay away from greasy fat foods and your stools will slide right out and leave very little residue.

> dove liquid soap

Dove soap is good, Neutrogena soap is good.

wetwipes wetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipeswetwipesTis all I can say...

yikes! that's a lot of tp...try really aiming for the hole, and rub ur finger about on it, that usually gets rid of most of it. (and always remember to wipe front to back )

bi_model is a boy. Boys always wipe in an upward direction.

I don't. That's just gross. Seriously, what girl/guy would want to lick nuts that smell like shit.

I think you have your up mixed up with your down. "Up" is from the region of the anus, toward the base of the spine.

Yup you're right. I've got my head between my knees.

Good practice, in case of nuclear attack.

Cant forget about hiding under those ply-wood desks

Duck and cover and kiss your ass goodbye.

el oh el! invent a machine that will wipe ur ass 5 times a second

Don't use neutrogena soap. It has irritating chemicals that will dry out your anus! Unless you are looking for irritation...don't use neutrogena

This guy likes it, although I prefer the unscented variety. He lists the ingredients. Tell me, which one of them will dry out your anus?