Im all alone, theres no1 here beside me.....

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ok, i need help.
right, well, im 17 and single, and have been 4 a long long time...( and by a long time, i mean forever). im pretty convinced that guys just dont like me, and none of then bother 2 get 2 no me, which sucks cuz every1 who nos me nos im great and i get "sum day, sum guy is gonna be really really lucky 2 have u" ALOT.
i think me problem is confidence. i tend 2 ignor guys instead of saying hi or sumthing cuz they freak me out.lol. guys never aproche me, but i figger thats cuz i give off an "evil bitch" vibe...which im not! im not being vain, but its definatly not cuz im ugly or anything....
why is it so dam hard for me to just say hi to a guy or smile?

can any1 plz give me sum advice and help me stop being such a pussy and just b freindly to guys i dont no...i just cant do it! i cant even bring myserlf 2 make eye contact with strangers....

i want my confidence back, i miss it :frowning:

Lol, FAKE IT. If you see a guy, go ahead and smile and wink, even if your insides are practically screaming not to. Make yourself act casual. Don't ever walk with your head looking down; your chin should be parallel to the floor. Practice (I'm serious!) walking with good posture. Practice fake smiling in a mirror until it looks like your natural smile. Whenever you talk to someone, anyone, make sure you are looking them in the eye, even if you REALLY don't want to.Also, make sure you aren't giving off any sort of bad vibes... Like an attacking vibe, a defensive vibe, a desparate vibe, and so on. Usually, if you practice smiling in a mirror, people can't detect it in your face... But they can detect an attack vibe by you leaning, even trying to tower over them when you are talking... Or a nervous, insecure vibe by you always moving, crossing your arms, putting your hands in your pockets, and blinking a lot when making eye contact. Yes, this sounds like a LOT of things to remember... But it's really not hard, as long as you become aware of yourself and the image you are portraying.

You're a cool girl CnC. Lots of guys are surely interested in you but they probably feel the same way as you. Throw them a line, make the first move. It may be a little "un-ladylike" but if you click with someone who cares.

Ajmakoko is right. 60% of all human communication is nonverbal. It's body language. Watch your posture, give off a smile, give off a proper but relaxed state of being. Keep your arms somewhat open to appear inviting instead of crossing them which is a defensive pose. If you have a hard time smiling at a guy, prepare yourself beforehand. Think of something that makes you happy and makes you smile. When you see a guy you might be interested in, look in his general direction and think of that something.

Now, I know a lot of people who think it's the man's job to approach and start off conversation. But, nowadays it doesn't seem to matter. I love it when a woman approaches me. If a woman has the confidence to approach me, I'm already intrigued to find out more.

if you're doing the whole confident thing what should you do with your hands and arms? I normally cross mine to lean ont he table when im in a pub with mates, not to be defensive, but because it's comfy (and it stops me fiddling with my fingers which i'm also prone to doing). Any handy tips?

You're 17 and you hang out in pubs? Who would you expect to meet? An old guy who likes to drink?Aside from everything else, you need to spend time in places and situations where you can meet people, preferably some activity where you have something in common with other people, and are in a situation where you can get to know them a bit. Sitting in a bar and expecting to be picked up is just one way to meet a guy, and not the best, in my opinion.

who me? I'm 18. I go to pubs with my friends (and I'm in the UK so drinking for me is legal). I would hate to sit at a bar and just wait to be picked up. First off, I'd probably just be freaked out by any guy coming up to me, I'd think they were a right wierdo.

CuteNCrazy said she was 17, but didn't mention pubs.

Oops, I got you mixed up with OP CuteNCrazy...obviously (now) it wasn't a follow-up of hers...sorry.

I like to lean forward and rest my head on my hand to be comfortable. But I had to break myself away from that. Now when I'm in a booth or something with a long seat I sit with one arm extended out like there is a girl sitting next to me and I have my arm behind her. If I'm not in a booth, I make sure to keep my shoulders relaxed and my arms not hiding any of my torso. For women, I like seeing them with their legs crossed and in a relaxed "I'm just here reading my book or drinking my drink" pose. Slouching and bad posture can be a turn off for me. Don't get me wrong, I've dated girls with bad posture... but I always gave them the "slouching gives off bad signals" speech. And then remind them that they are slouching whenever they do it.If you watch movies you'll notice a lot about certain characters. Generally, the successful characters in movies are the ones you want to pay attention to. Seldom do you see them slouching or giving off wrong signals.

are you attractive? im not being unkind, but honestly, are you? its not vital for confidence but if you had something to feel good about, a new dress/hairstyle for example, you might feel confident again. nothing makes me feel more confident than when im wearing a new outfit or ive got my hair just how i want it (yes i know that sentence sounded gay, bite me) and im walking down the street all fuck yeah, you want a piece of this ass, yes you do. give it a try!

I know exactly what you mean about the hair and outfit. I always feel so much better when I think i look good. If I'm walking by myself, shopping or something I normally listen to music and when lively songs that I like come on I feel a lot more confident too (although i'm probably moving in time to the music and look realy stupid! lol) I guess the music thing ain't good advice for what you're asking...but the way you look, yeah, that can help. But I'm still stuck on what to do with my hands...I think the arms alone the back isn't a very girly thing to do really. Holding my drink can help, but then I annoy myself by constantly fiddling with it,. (apparently pulling the label off your bottle is a sign of sexual frustration. maybe I just need to get some!)

Well, yeah, it's comfortable, because it's an outlet for you. I just let my arms rest at my side, or I hook my thumbs into my belt loops (yeah, I'm really the only one who does this). When sitting down, I put my hands in my lap, or, when I'm flirting, I stroke my collar bone with one hand, very slowly, and very casually... It pretty much mesmerizes the guy.

are you attractive? im not being unkind, but honestly, are you?well, how do u answer sumthing like that without looking really vain or very inscure. im TOLD im attractive, im sure as hell not ugly or anything...and yer, its true, when u have a new hot hair cut/top/whateva, it is alot easyer cuz u feel good about urself. problem being, i cant ALWAYS get new stuff before i go out every time cuz then id b alot poorer.lolyer, i no my problem is i probably give off a bitch/snob vibe. im totally not etha of those things its just, i do walk with good posture, head up etc, but i wont meet eny1s eyes when i walk cuz 4 sum reason i cant handel that, its sum weird fear of ppl thinking i like them if i dont....i donno. anyway, i pretty sure this makes me look like a snobby little bitch, i just need 2 smile at ppl but thats only easy when ur feeling really great about urself, i just cant make myself do it other times when im feeling not so good...i spose i have alot of guy related "issues", mostly resulting in i think all guys r bastards and ass holes and i pretty much hate all of them...or atleast the vast majority of them i think i need 2 do what u said and just FORCE myself to smile and act happy even when i feel like shit...its just SOOO HARD!

In reply to: I stroke my collar bone with one hand, very slowly, and very casually Good move!

I'll give them a go! when I'm standing up dong nothing I quite often put my thumbs through my belt loops, or just hook them in my jeans pockets, but not normally when I'm sitting down.

Cowgirl...

hmm...all I need is the hat and horse...ooo, playing with a hat would give me something to do!

Did Bob help?

yep. Bob just helped me to realise I need to completely chnage my wardrobe. From now on, it doesn't matter what I wear, as long as I got a hat!

How about you wear just the hat?