Stupid move made - help appreciated!

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Myself and himself have been having a few rows lately so things aren’t great, though they seem to be coming round in the last day or so. I went down to my sons godmothers house, she lives about an hour and a halfs drive from me, and I stayed the night and we got drunk and had a laugh (that was Thursday night) So anyway, we go into this bar (her local) and there is a travellers engagement party on. Travellers, also known as ‘Tinkers’ are a community of about thirty or so thousand people who live a nomadic lifestyle, for anyone who doesn’t know, they're kind of like Irish gypsies I suppose. Anyway my friend, who is a pure trouble riser, held up the box of drink we'd bought on our way out the door and shouted in at a group of traveller men "HEY LADS, WE'VE GOT THE WHISKEY - COME ON!" At which two of the men obviously thought they were in with a chance and hopped up to talk to us. As I said we were on our way out the door, one of them got into conversation with my friend outside the door and the other stopped to talk to me in the hall. He was giving it all this; "Give me your number, give me your number, ah go on give me your number" and he's patting his pockets looking for his phone and he says "ah fuck it I haven’t got me phone" so I was thinking 'thank God for that' and I (stupidly) thought I'd diffuse the situation by whipping out my phone and taking his number and just not calling him, so I took his number. Myself and my friend got back to her house and drank ourselves silly and for some mad reason I thought it'd be a good idea to ring this bloke and have a laugh. Even with the ten pints of cider I'd drank at that stage I still had the sense to ring him from her phone so he wouldn’t have my number. So I rang him and started buzzing off him asking him was he into shagging sheep and saying I wouldn’t be into a man who got his rocks off riding the sheep and all this (he lives in the countryside) but it was all just for the sake of a laugh and not put in an offensive way or anything. So anyway, here's where the problem starts: I TOLD my friend in no uncertain terms not to give him my number if he called her, but guess what; he did, and she did. So now I have this headcase tinker bloke calling me looking for a fk and, believe me, the LAST thing my relationship needs right now is some tinker bloke (or any other kind of bloke) calling looking for a fk. I've told him it's not going to happen, but the calls are still coming. I can’t change my number cause too many contacts I need have it. So… WHAT TO DO???

Block his number.

If it was that simple Websex, I'd have done it already. I dont have that function on my phone, that's not regular where I come from, and anyway, even if I could, what's to stop him calling from another phone?

Would your man get mad if you explained what happened that night? If he knows beforehand, he's less likely to blow up over a man calling you up all the time. You're right, I'm not sure how the phones work over there. I can block a number on my cell phone, but I actually have to go to my cell provider to do it.

I assume you have caller ID, so his number will show up, or his name will show up if the number is in your directory, which it apparently is. Can't you just screen out his calls?It's good that you live in a safe area. If you did what you did around here, you'd likely be raped.Edit: OK, "likely" seems a bit strong. You need to make sure that your friend with such poor judgement doesn't give hime your address. You need to just tell him not to call again. If he does, then you need to tell him you're going to call the police if he keeps harassing you.

I just dont know how to approach it Websex because I'm REALLY not into lying in a relationship, I'm a very big proponant of honesty. Maybe I'll just have to bite the bullet and tell him exactly what went on. I had NO intention of doing anything wrong, but the fact stands, I did call this guy and even though it was stupid and only 'havin a laugh' type behaviour, I wouldnt expect my man to be happy about it. I know I wouldnt be happy if the shoe was on the other foot.. and as I said, we've been going through a bit of a hard time and the relationship really dosent need a third party looking for sex thrown into the mix.. I told this bloke a few hours ago to back off and forget about it, that I shouldnt have taken his number, fair enough, but he went looking for mine, which he neednt have done. Anyway, he accosted me, I certianly didnt approach him. I could just strangle my 'friend'..

Well, I've never considered the possibility of being raped down a phoneline Steve, but if you could convince me of how that might happen I suppose I could be persuaded to stop answering my phone altogether..

Sorry....read the addendum to the post.

OK, when someone says "phone", I automatically think "cell phone". If your friend gave out your home number, she is.....kind of not too bright. Anyway, given a phone number, it's not hard to do a reverse look-up and get the name and address, at least in the U.S. If you're motivated, you can even do it for an unlisted number. Verizon Superpages White Pages Reverse phone number search for the U.S.

She gave out my mobile number, but irrespective of that she's not too bright in any case, in my estimation. But I really don’t think there was any need to bring ‘rape’ into the equation Steve, in respect of the circumstances.Anyway, of course I told him to back off. I did that before I posted. Did you think I was looking for advice on whether I should tell him to sling his hook??!Thank you for the time you took to post about this Steve, but really, you strike me very strongly as not an adequately sensitive person to respond to women’s issues.And another thing that strikes me; I've been a member of a2a for five months now and I've never seen you post a problem. Why is that? Are you the one person in the history of humanity that doesn’t have any problems? Or would you just rather respond to other peoples and keep your own to yourself?

I'm not really lying either when it comes to relationships. What I meant is if you explain it to him then you should explain it the way you explained it to us.You have to weigh the pros and cons along with possibilities. If he finds out this guy is calling you for sex and you haven't mentioned anything about it, it could be really about it. If he doesn't find out then I guess all is well, but that's another thing that happened that he won't know about. I'm very particular about being open in a relationship. Weighing the pros and cons would have to do with his personality. If my girl explained to me beforehand about what happened, then I won't get upset with her when the guy calls. I'll get upset with him instead... but that's just my personality.

It would be about the only thing I can think of that would have happened that he wouldnt know about, if I were to keep my mouth shut that is. I think I'll just come clean, I didnt mess around with anybody, and he knows me better than that anyway, so I'll let you all know how it went. Not lookin forward to the earfull though!... Thanks!

Thank you for the time you took to post about this Steve, but really, you strike me very strongly as not an adequately sensitive person to respond to women’s issues.** Eyes rolling heavenward. ***This is not a "woman's issue". This is the issue of an emotionally volatile person drinking too much and allowing the impulse control centers of her brain to be disabled. Now you find yourself in a pickle. If the guy calls your home, your s.o. will eventually pick up the phone at the wrong time, and that would be bad; but since he has your cell phone number, even if folks in the Emerald Isle don't have caller ID on their phones, you can hang up on him the moment he speaks. He will eventually get the idea and stop calling, if he's not a nut job. Since you haven't actually done anything, there's no reason to bring your s.o. into it, unless you're starved for drama.> And another thing that strikes me; I've been a member of a2a for five months now and I've never seen you post a problem. Why is that? Are you the one person in the history of humanity that doesn’t have any problems? Or would you just rather respond to other peoples and keep your own to yourself?Since I'm sure you haven't read all 15000 posts, you can't authoritatively say that, but otherwise, I don't think I'm the only person in humanity who doesn't have problems. But seriously, I am old enough that I have already lived through several instances of most of the things posted on this site, although, I'll admit, none quite like the one described in this thread. I have no particular medical issue I need advice on.What you really need to ask yourself, if I may be direct, is why you're subconsciously trying to sabotage your relationship, especially given that it already seems troubled.What makes this all the more puzzling are remarks about fidelity you've made in the past.

I could dissect your extraordinary post and question you on all of its aspects, each one more preposterous and outlandish than the last, but really, your unobserved notions are simply unworthy of my time. I think the truth is pretty clear here: it's not a case that you never made a mistake in your life - it's a case of you not having the balls to own up to having made one.

Well I didn't know that I was obligated to post issues here. I don't recall seeing that in the site's user's agreement. And I'm sure you haven't yet read all 15,000+ posts.But enough about me. Do you really think there's anything to gain by throwing a spanner into your relationship by bringing your boyfriend into it?

I'd have to agree with Steve on this. I don't understand why you just had to take his number. A simple, "I'm not interested and fuck off" would have been sufficient, in my opinion. And if he kept bugging you, then you needed to walk away. There had to be some reason you took this guy's phone number and called him later. Sounds like you were sabotaging your relationship.And Steve's idea that you may have been raped is a good point. There is no doubt that this guy was up to no good. If a guy is insisting on trying to talk to you, then that's a good sign that he's controlling to say the least. Most guys who attempt to date rape are like this.

I don't know about Ireland, but here you can get your telephone company to block numbers from your phone.

Hey baby, can I have your number!?
Or better yet, I'll PM you mine. :grin:

CBW: I'm really not interested in hearing what you or Steve have come up with after a session of 'amateur psychologist', for the simple fact that neither of you are very good at it. If I were sabotaging my relationship I could have taken any of the numerous more direct routes to achieving that end. For instance I could have A: Given him my phone number when he first asked for it B: Called the guy from my own phone (which I still didn’t do even while insensible with drink) or C: kept my mouth shut about the incident and risked his calling while in my boyfriends company.We have a saying here; 'When drink is in - Sense is out'. Anyone who'd like to point out that it was a stupid thing to do need only look at the first segment of this threads subject line to see that, since I scripted it, I couldn’t possibly be in need of having that impressed upon me. Anyone who thinks I need an unpaid wanna-be psychologist in my ear need only look at the second segment, which clearly reads 'help appreciated' not 'bullshit appreciated'.For anyone who's interested: I told my boyfriend about the whole thing yesterday morning. He just said "Well that was stupid, but we all do stupid things in drink. If he calls again while I'm here just hand the phone to me" and that was the end of the matter, much to my relief!