He's just asked me..

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so Steve's in shit for posting, then he's in shit for not posting.He's in shit if he offers his own opinin or quotes someone elses.He's in shit for citing his sources. He's in shit for taking exception to personal attacks but sheems to catch shit for making them himself.I like people who are always in shit, it's comforting in a family kind of way.

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Sorry luv, I had to step out for a while. Are you familiar with the Albee play Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? I'll be your George, you be my Martha. Yes, I can picture myself in Richard Burton's role.Since you couldn't give a reason to ask for my marital status (since all I did was put up a recent NY Times article), I knew you wanted to know so that you could formulate the best possible insult. After all that, it wasn't even very good.Keep in mind that half of all marriages end in divorce (and more than a few end in murder), so it's a good idea to really think it through, given the flip-of-the-coin odds of success, on the average. It follows the usual pattern, though, that you are not interested in what is said, but instead are interested in the personality involved, so you can express your hostility to maximum effect.Good luck in your marriage.______I was thinking about marriages in my own family. So far there is only one divorce, due to mental illness on the part of a husband (not a blood relative of mine; he became violent and was institutionalized). Everyone else from my generation or younger married outside of his or her religion (plus or minus a conversion or two). Also, my Unitarian Universalist friend married a Southern Baptist from Texas.The issues that caused conflict were religious disagreements when the children were old enough that it was an issue; infidelity (although there was no major incident that I am aware of); and in one case, mental illness. Surprisingly, money was never a huge issue. (My mother's parents and her cousin were as poor as could be, and so was her cousin.) So far they're all with their first spouse, and the older generations all died with their first spouses.Trust is a very big deal.As far as I know, my parents were still bonking away until they were too sick to keep doing it, not that long before they died. They were not spring chickens.______> I couldn’t give a hairy arsed FUCK what sort of feelings Steve has regarding ANYTHING I have to say.Try to dispassionately look at the contents of the post, even if you hate the person posting. No matter how much you hate someone, and no matter how much you perceive he cares or doesn't care about you, if he claims that 1 plus 1 equals 2, he's not wrong.If you have something nasty to offer in response, fire away.

In reply to:If you have something nasty to offer in response, fire away.No, there is far too much nastiness in this thread already. I'm very disappointed.

Good luck with your marriage. However, I hope you and your fiance work out your issues before walking down the aisle. Like someone said earlier, getting married for the idea that it'll make everything smooth again is not a good idea. I'm witnessing that right now between my mother and stepdad. They barely speak to each other. Just to add on, I think I can give you another example. My older sister, 29, has been with her husband for almost 10 years now. They decided to get married about 2 years ago. Their relationship was headed down the toilet because they were both cheating on each other. They also have a six year old son, who is unfortunately caught between their bickering. They decided to get married. Why? I really don't know. Soon after they got married, their problems continued. My sister started cheating again and my brother-in-law started cheating again. But they both kept having sex and living together. My sister eventually starts cheating with an older man and started taking trips to Denver, Colorado without telling her husband. When she returns, he gives her this surprised look because he thought she had moved out. He apparently had some of her stuff packed. She eventually moved out of the house and got her own place. Desperate to live the single life, my sister and her husband dumped their six-year-old son on my mother to raise. He now lives with us during the week so he can continue to go to school, while he goes with them on the weekend. They have no interest in developing his academic or social skills. My sister won't even help him with his homework or get him ready for school whenever she's over here. His father hardly ever comes around. What I'm trying to say is that getting married for the wrong reasons can make your relationship worse. I'm not trying to scold you or make you say no. I frankly don't know you well enough to make this decision for you. What I do know is what you've posted in the Relationship forum, and from that, I do think I can tell you that you need to sit down with your boyfriend and go over some issues before tying the knot. Maybe a pre-marriage counselor can help. Are you religious? If so, you can get some counseling from your priest (assuming you're Catholic). The article Steve posted did look pretty in depth, so I would look at that as well.

Too bad a simple announcement has to turn into a bitchfest. Pretty typical and yes.. dissapointing... as usual.

Yeah i have to agree with your guys, bloody hell its annoying when something nice turns into an argument, there really is no need

It's to the point that I can't even get disappointed anymore. I guess I've been desensitized.

I haven’t had the time to look over these posts, understandably I'd imagine, given the season. I wont have much time to look over them in the coming weeks either, as I'm under incredible work stress (I’ll slap my own arse if I catch myself messing around here, and if I catch myself at it I'm sure someone else will, in which case I'd thank them for reminding me I've work to be getting on with!)Firstly, SteveA: As for your parents "still bonking away until they were too sick to keep doing it" well, fair play to them, but that is really not of any kind of interest to me. As far as "hating" anyone on here is concerned; I'm happy to say I've never genuinely hated anyone in my life, though, far outside the realms of a2a, I've probably been given ample reason to.& CBW, that's a dreadful situation for your nephew. No little six-year-old boy should have to deal with the dissolution of his world, which is essentially what his parent’s marriage is to him. My heart goes out to the child, and I mean that genuinely. You don’t have to worry about knowing me "well enough to make this decision" for me. As I said in the original post; "I'm not looking for advice here otherwise this'd be in the relationships thread. I know this is my decision to make" Also, any 'good luck with your marriage' messages are appreciated, but premature. I've simply told him "We'll see". I will let you all know if there are any changes!

Congratulation's

The article Steve posted did look pretty in depth, so I would look at that as well. The New York Times posted that article 17 December, and today it's still the fourth-most-emailed article on their Web site (see nytimes.com, and scroll down to the middle of the page. The "Most Popular" box is on the right).A friend of mine just came back from a few months overseas, and now he says he thinking of marrying someone he met over there. I sent him the article.

Eeekk. I hope he comes to his senses.

I don't know. In some ways it makes a lot of sense. He's concerned about protecting his assets, though.
She can't just come to the U.S., for immigration reasons, even though he is a U.S. citizen. They'd live in a neutral third country if they went ahead.
I haven't met her, but she seems like a good prospect for him. (By the way, he's a successful business guy, and no nerd.)