I need some help

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This is hard to do so I’m asking……… please no one start on the self harming is stupid shit and emo jokes and crap. This is serious ass shit and I want people that’s been threw it to feel able to help me with out some smart ass saying how stupid or dumb or wutever. !! I don’t care to know wtf ur feelings are about self harmers….. I need to to know how to stop! ..and b4 u even ask wut i did. don't cuz i'm not telling.I know there are a few on this bored that are and have been harmers. I just like .. I dk. I need to some things to try.. I dk I'd just like to know wut made u realize u had to stop and how did u do it. (please PM me if u don’t want it public) I really fucked my self up this time……… I’m scared to think wut next time will be. B4 it’s asked or suggested... yes I see a therapist (weekly) but all he does is make me talk.. Honestly I’m ready to punch him in the face.

How about attending a support group with other self harmers? Even one facilitated by an EX-self harmer. I don't know or care what you did to your body, but I do want you to realize how the body is our temple. It's the only one we have. If you don't like yourself, there are other ways to beat yourself up. Like for instance, emotionally. You obviously feel bad about the permanent damage that youre causing yourself. If you can convince yourself, you can accomplish anything, even the "impossible." Bruce Lee would never have reached where he got if he didn't actually want it for himself, no one could have done all that work for him. This is about you...CALEB, and the things you want to be remembered for. But also, that means you have to put some work into it...and I'm not saying youre not doing so, but when that knive is inches from your precious skin, THAT'S when the serious work begins. Look deep, DEEP within, and ask yourself if you really want to harm yourself. There's so much out there to harm us, we don't need to help. Good luck and PM me if you want/ need more support.

I... I dunno if one would say I'm an "Ex-SA" because I honestly think I would still do it if I felt the need to... But I guess I just realized for myself very clearly that it wasn't right for me, that it didn't really fix my problems. My husband and I eloped, but before we did I would always wonder about wedding dresses, because my arms and legs bear the scars of my past. I didn't have control over when I learned not to do it I guess, so I'm no help here.

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How about attending a support group with other self harmers?
How do I go about asking for that.. Like do I ask my therapist or do I go to my parents. And if I go to my parents wut they'll do is ask my therapist. He's took me 1 time to a meeting but it wasn't for self harmers.
I haven't done anything to be remembered for...... I really can't believe u remembered my name.

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that means you have to put some work into it...and I'm not saying youre not doing so, but when that knive is inches from your precious skin, THAT'S when the serious work begins.
I don't really think about it or anything .. I just do it. Kinda like a snap a fingers. Well It's not but.......... Like this time I felt feelings and it was more than one feeling.. It was like . I can't explain but I just looked up and there it was. Ryan left his lighter on the pool table. Not only did I get grounded but Ryan got in trouble too for leaving a "weapon" out.

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ask yourself if you really want to harm yourself
i guess I don't want to hurt myself.... I'm scared I will tho and hurt myself worse.

@ java...

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But I guess I just realized for myself very clearly that it wasn't right for me, that it didn't really fix my problems.

It don't fix my problems... My problems can't be fixed I think. i can;t say wut it does for me. it's a shameful thing and i dk wut people would think........

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My husband and I eloped, but before we did I would always wonder about wedding dresses, because my arms and legs bear the scars of my past.

No one can see them.

i think maybe it's for control but i dk.. it's not wut my therapist thinks.... and Pete. Pete agrees with my nut doc. i dk.

Docs aren't always right. It.... I used to think the same thing, about it being shameful, but then realized how kind of...silly that was. I mean, It was/is a choice I make, and I try to me proud of all my choices, including my way to deal with pain. A lot of self-inflicted things are for control, like eating disorders. You do it so you can feel just a little bit of control on your life when it's spinning so far out of your reach. So, I kind of understand what your going through. I would never assume I know exactly what your going through, but if you need anything you know I'm here for you.

Keep in mind your Therapist works for you, not the other way around.If you don't feel he's helping you meet the goals that brought you there, ditch him and find one that will.And the group is a great idea if you can find one. Ask your therapist, your parents, or you could place an anonymous call to a local community mental health agency or social services or whatnot.

my suggestion would be to masturbate every time you feel like cutting yourself.

That's moronic.

I dunno if this helps, I did a Google search...http://www.crazymeds.org/supportCut.htm

Looks like some decent stuff on that site.Just make sure, if you go to one of the links, it's a place that actually offers support. Not a place that's just about sharing war stories or (God forbid!) just trying to one up each other.

Well I'm looking for a certain thing. ..I mean.. I dk.
I've been told all theses things to try but it's like when I get certain emotions hitting me and stuff I just can't make myself change my thoughts. ...feelings. I draw and write...a draw a lot. I been told to try some things and I have but when I need it the most I can't. I don't got no control of wut I think. I been told I can change my dreams and change the endings are wutever but I can't seem to do it. I just out of the blue told my gf I didn't want to die. I have such I dk bad suicide thoughts or visions ..not visions but I can see me killing myself in my head.. But I can't cuz I haven't; got nothing to use but if I ever figure out something to use I'm really scared I will. But this isn't bout that right now I'm more worried about my burn.

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You burned yourself? yea

the doctor gave me some cream i put on it. hurts like hell tho.

This mark will heal. But how do we stop the next one?

When your feelings are getting out of control, does it happen all at once? or does it slowly build?

Or, Does something just instantly set you off, or is it like a chain of events that gets you to that point?

I am just wondering if there is some way for you to catch yourself, BEFORE your feelings get out of control, so that you can bring yourself out of it, before you hurt yourself again.

I would ask your "nut doc" if he has someone, that you can call any time day or night, to talk to so you can vent. I am not online as often as I used to be, so I don't really know anymore how much talking you get to do there with other people, it used to be a lot...I know you don't like to talk on the phone much, but it might be an option for you, especially when you start feeling yourself getting out of control.

Quote:This mark will heal. But how do we stop the next one? I dk. Quote:When your feelings are getting out of control, does it happen all at once? or does it slowly build? I dk.. Slowly. It’s conflicting feelings. Quote:Or, Does something just instantly set you off, or is it like a chain of events that gets you to that point? I really don't know wut ur asking. U know I’m stupid. I dk if this is wut u mean but the bad thunderstorm we had… it started it and then I drew and made it worse. Thoughts ..memories like good ones and bad ones just …..I saw my opportunity when I saw Ry left his lighter on our pool table so I used it.

First off, I don't think your stupid at all.

You answered me perfectly. I asked the question the same way twice so you would be able to answer.

So, you have a chance, between starting to feel crappy and guilty, and feeling down enough to hurt yourself.

Can you go to your mom BEFORE you get to the hurt yourself place?

Helm's, it isn't attention that he wants. There is a guilt (an absolutely UNFOUNDED guilt) in there that rears it's ugly head, that if he was someone different, thing that have happened, wouldn't have happened. Scars and burns would change his appearance, in such a hurt person, any change can feel good for a second. And a change in appearance, seems to be a way to change who you are.

HOWEVER, Caleb, You didn't DO anything wrong, you aren't anyone wrong. Somehow, you have to stop thinking that "if only", because, your here, NOW, and dealing with NOW, and you can't change what happened, only what will happen from now on.

Quote:This confuses me. I've often thought, if I could have you tag along and do shit with me in my world, you'd go through some positive changes. But, if there's a lot of dangerous "tools" at the shop, and on boatI’d love to sail…cuz I love the water. I miss living on the coast. as for the tools... that's pretty much why our shed (small shop looking tbuilding)is pad locked. Quote:What opportunity did you see when you saw that lighter, and what were you trying to accomplish? I guess I was mad at myself. I don’t understand why I want the bitch to come back……….or why I miss her sometimes. When that collides with how I hate her and wanting to know why I miss some bitch that has fucked up my life…… I can’t really explain it. I know wut feelings make me want to I just don’t how to stop it. U know how when some one gets so pissed at some one and u want to ball up ur fist and punch them….. But there is that in u that says no.. don’t. I don’t know wut has happened to mine. Quote:. If it's purely attention seeking, you could simply call me or Kelly, or any number of other people. If you want my number, PM me. In a way I’m hurt that u said that but then I was expecting someone to say it. I’ll take ur number if u want to give it to me. I have people I can go to. My mom , ryan.. Shannon, even my dad if he’s not busy. why I posted for help. I can’t.. I dk. I can’t think rationally enough to stop myself and stop or go to some one who will stop me. That’s just no place in my mind when my mind gets to that low point. I dk how to control it. I dk wut to …….I can’t rethink. I just dk wut to do. I’ve tried writing my feelings. It helps to a percent and then it either is ok or I get worse. Like the drawing it helps or I get worse….. That’s wut happened I got worse. If I hadn’t looked up and noticed he left his lighter I would have still done something I’d just used my hands and left no proof. My therapist suggested me name things. He even got me to do it in his office to like show me how it changes my minds thinking but I can’t do it. I mean I can and I did it with him but… I dk… I dk wtf to do or try…@ peepsi Quote:Can you go to your mom BEFORE you get to the hurt yourself place?I have b4. But it wasn’t me that stopped it. It was my dad. He asked me if I was ok and I dropped the weapon and came out the bathroom and told them wut I was about to do. it was liek his voice snapped me out of it. that; swut it;s lieik.. it;s liek a trance or somthing... Quote:you can't change what happened, only what will happen from now on.I know… it’s the from now on part that’s scary. i hear this it be ok. and it get better and all i feel is liek it;s gettign worse.

Originally Posted By: HelmsmaNIf it's purely attention seekingWhy Would you say that?

I hope it helps. I have often been there online and offered a call. But Caleb doesn't really want to be on the phone. Someone online all the time would help. I can't afford texting or I would offer that up....

i wouldn't mind calling.. anyone acually. it's just my dad pays the phone bills. if he sees a numer he don't know he'd flip. i'm too scared of my dad. there will be a day ( i hope) that i want have to worry about his rules.