18 and never been with a girl, im pathetic

---

Well the title pretty much says it all, im going on 19 years old and haven't had a relationship yet. I really don't know why though, I have absolutely no problem talking with any girl, whether it be initiating a conversation or just casually talking. In fact, I think i'm pretty good at it.

I guess one of the reasons why im still single is because i had a bad middle school, i was overweight back then and didn't have a lot of friends, and of course the same people went to the same high school as me, although i started to get in shape in high school and people started to mature slowly.

Although I started to get in better shape, I still had problem getting friends. I found a few really good ones till this very day, and in fact they are all going their own ways for college in less than a week.

I just started at the community college here, im staying another semester to help my mom get moved into her new place, and overall its the same thing as high school. I was never considered into the 'cool' group, I guess in high school you had to be popular to have fun.

But sadly, it's true, i've never had a girlfriend. I've helped my friends get girlfriends, actually played 'Matchmaker' several times on my friends, and some of them are still with each other.

Like I said, i wasn't in very good shape throughout middle school and the beginning of high school, but now that I am, it feels like I don't know where to begin.

I know there's a lot of drama in relationships and hardships, but I just want to experience it for myself already. Why am I always having to start the conversations and making the 'moves'? Every time I speak to women, they -ALWAYS- give me the impression that they are not interested in me, there's just not that little spark that shows they are interested in me.

Maybe it's my first impression. I concealed myself a lot and tried to improve my looks throughout my teen years, and if anything it made me worse. I don't look that bad, but it just feels like I don't have that extra little kick that every other guy does. I almost asked this girl out in my junior year, but later found out from another classmate that she loved me as a friend, and was also interested in someone else.

Maybe that's it? I just give off the 'friend' vibe... I really don't know at this point. I've been 2faced and used a lot by people I was too nice too, when they didnt even consider me a friend.

I don't just want a one night stand. Some people do, and I dont consider these people real, they just live in the moment, i'm always looking into the future and this issue of mine has been disturbing me lately.

Will I ever have a relationship? Are some people just destined to be single forever?

I thought I was gay once when I thought about this, but a minute later I knew for a fact that I am interested women, and nothing else.

I want a whole, meaningful relationship with a woman, but they are so hard to find these days, and every time I think I found one, we talk, and they just aren't interested in me.

My friends who are leaving for college, we talked last week for the entire night, and one of them actually came out and said he was gay, which shocked me at first but it didn't change anything, we're still friends. When they started to talk to me, they said that as long as I be myself I will get a nice girl eventually.

While it is good advice, I just cant seem to wait much longer. I know I just cant do this overnight, everything takes time, I learned this from going to the gym for 3 years.

I feel old, and feel the need to experience love, a relationship, and heartbreak, I want to experience all that a relationship creates.

Seriously, what am I suppose to do? Maybe when I leave for North California next semester i'll meet a lot of new people.

I know I type way too much sometimes, so i'll cut it off here, i've been repeating myself anyway. I am not asking you to tell me 'it will be alright, just give it time'. I have been told that for years now. I feel like shit basically. I feel that I have so much to offer but no one is ever interested in me.

I am new here and have enjoyed reading all of your threads, unfortunately most of them dealt with issues I had no experience on, but if you have any useful insightful help for me, i'd appreciate it.

I don't expect my outcome to be pretty, life is suppose to suck but I don't want to be alone anymore. Please help me A2A.

Expect the worst and be ready for the best. I have a feeling when you do get a girl, she'll be the one interested in you, not the other way around. It always works that way. I didn't have a GF till I was 19. Now Im 34, and have NEVER asked a girl out. The ones that are interested in me, I just play along and I can pick and choose which ones I wanna be with. Even had a few one nighters, ain't gonna lie. Funny how life works.

Dude its only as bad as you make it... Self pity wont get you anywhere...

i have a few friends who are 20-23 and haven't had any girlfriends!
and there sexy f@@kers!
lack of confidence man. Ask them out worst they can say is no !

What's the point of asking someone out if I already know they are going to say no? I know when people are interested in someone else, and how they go about it. It's just never happened to me.

I am confident, have no problem talking or being myself. Maybe 'being myself' is the problem... ah what do I know lol

Originally Posted By: AfterhoursWhat's the point of asking someone out if I already know they are going to say no? I know when people are interested in someone else, and how they go about it. It's just never happened to me.I am confident, have no problem talking or being myself. Maybe 'being myself' is the problem... ah what do I know lol Uh. What? So you're psychic? Sweet. Winning lotto numbers are???? Guy I have this problem myself. If you find yourself going after girls who are already interested in other guys...then...hows about not going after them? Why not go after girls you KNOW don't like someone else? Law of large numbers states that you have to find at least one other person who's looking for you.You are pathetic... Lol I'm only kidding man. You seem like a nice enough guy it just takes trial and error man.

You are pathetic... Lol I'm only kidding man. You seem like a nice enough guy it just takes trial and error man. Why do you do that?

Do what? the white text? It makes things more interesting. Like helmsman said in his first line. Those who have white backgrounds like myself only see the black (lol duh right?) so when they just scan really quickly and see, "you're pathetic" without reading the rest of it...well I just find it interesting in some of the responses people give when they read only one part of something. It's my way of pointing out how people take things out of context and inflate them to beyond proportion.

Indeed trial and error... emphasis on the 'error'.

Can't win em all. But you can damn sure go a few rounds with em

Not everyone is going to tie together your "signature" with what you did. I think it's dumb.

Quote:Though I may not agree with your statement, I'll fight to the death to protect your right to say it, my good sir.Can't remember who said that. Peter Griffin maybe. And I was doing it before the sig changed And of course those who don't have white backgrounds will just read it normally. It's just something other forums use -- I think it adds life to some forums.

I think it adds life to some forums. It may be fun for you, but I think it just creates misunderstandings, ruffled feathers and makes you look like an ass (because your "just kidding" is hidden)

Originally Posted By: sdp I think it adds life to some forums. It may be fun for you, but I think it just creates misunderstandings, ruffled feathers and makes you look like an ass (because your "just kidding" is hidden) It appears we -- like the O.P. with his personal feelings -- are at an impasse (had to tie that in somehow to maintain relevance to the thread). So how do we resolve this?

There is nothing to resolve.It's just my opinion/commentary that hiding text can cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings. If you want to do it, then thats your prerogative.

So we're still friends then??

Exactly, you only limit yourself to what you choose to limit yourself to. Basically, until you stop thinking "I can't, I can't, I can't", you never will.

Those guys who have that edge you lack? That's confidence. Only way to achieve confidence is to practice. Approach girls, talk to them, use cheesy lines, ask them out, be rejected. Just don't take it personally, suck it up, learn your mistakes, and move onto the next one. I'm sure those guys were just as scared as you were when they first started, they just may have been better at hiding it.

Yeah, I'm not pissed at you. It was all just a commentary.

Confidence to get rejected? I don't get it...(yes, i am afraid of being rejected)

With confidence, you will be more attractive to girls. With confidence it won't matter to you if you are rejected.

how will confidence make me more attractive if the women i talk to aren't interested to me in the first place!