Bait And Switch?

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Ok so this is basically an update to my last thread "Only Heavy Like Me."

So I recently posted an online dating profile. I had it up for about a month with no success. I did get tons of emails, most of them from girls who really just didn't fit my standards. Maybe they had some excess weight, maybe their faces weren't so pleasing, etc. I never once saw a stunning beauty online who was single.

Finally one day I get a message from a very attractive girl who I talked to for a while and thought I was connecting with. At first I was surprised because she was the only attractive girl I'd ever seen use that service. I met her and she was with her "less appealing" friend who was a little chuuby and who appeared to be interested in me right away and kind of flirted with me throughout the evening. The hot girl kind of left at various points and left me alone with the other girl. The evening went alright but it seemed the hot girl had some "situation to deal with and at one point left me alone for a whole hour. Could she have really had a situation or was this a ruse to get me alone and talking with the other girl?

The hot girl called me several times and talked to me for hours about her life, beliefs, etc. She tells me about her past relationships, everything. I mean I tried to sound interested but when a girl rambles about her day what can I really say to that? Then a couple of days ago she randomly asks if I found her "less appealing" friend attractive and almost appeared to be attempting to set me up with her. She says her friend wants to call me and I said "ok I guess" or something to that accord.

Then the friend calls me and asks if I want to go out this weekend. I nervously replied "maybe, I'll get back to you" and faked being busy with something more serious so I could end the call politely.

She's a nice girl but I don't want to be any more than friends with her. I want the original girl.

Is this some elaborate online dating bait and switch routine where an attractive girl meets a potential suitor just to create an introduction between him and a less attractive friend? Maybe in this scam it's assumed that a girl who would normally be ignored on online dating sites would be able to somehow date a guy if her attractive friend posed as the seeking female and the idea is if a guy met a girl in real life he'd normally ignore online that he would change his mind, that I'd see her "real" qualities or some bullshit?

Am I just paranoid? I don't want to ruin things with this girl, I just started talking to her and I want it to work out for me this time. I also don't want the less attractive girl to hate me.

Anyone ever heard of anything like thing before?

I mean if you were a girl who was interested in dating a guy why in hell would you let him know your friend likes him?

it would apear that your future is with chubby girls

Quote: ...from girls who really just didn't fit my standards...Did it occur to you that the girls you want may not be emailing you because you don't fit their shallow standards?  Quote: ...if a guy met a girl in real life he'd normally ignore online that he would change his mind, that I'd see her "real" qualities or some bullshit? Er, there really is more to a person than the way they look. It is hardly "bullshit". If you are looking for a cheap fuck and not a relationship, carry on with the mindest you are in, with the way you are looking. If you are trying for a relationship with someone you can actually talk to rather than just someone you have as a trophy, you are seriously going about this the wrong way (although saying that ... the comment you made about the girl "rambling" about her day just seems as though you'd rather not talk....) Looks fade. One day you will be old and wonder why you can't have a decent conversation with the airhead you chose just because she was "hot".(not saying all "hot" people are airheads, just to clarify!!)Ok, I can see the way you are being palmed off on the friend is a bit bizarre... have you thought about how you are acting around people? Maybe you are just giving off the wrong vibes. I know I wouldn't pass someone off on my friend unless I really didn't like them in person.

Do you have any idea how shallow you come across?

You sound so arrogant and maybe that might be the reason why you aren't getting the sort of attention you want.

I've not even met you and you sound self-centred and up yourself, so imagine how real people in real situations might feel.

Chances are with your standards you're only gonna find someone equally as shallow as you. And in that sort of relationship there can be no love, only criticism.

Chances are that one of you would change and then the "lesser" person as you would probably put it would get booted out.

Maybe you should work a bit on realising that you need attraction AND personality before you go looking for your "ideal" mate...

I have my doubts it was a set-up. It was probably more along the lines of, "He was nice but I don't really want to date him."And then the friend, "Are you kidding. I thought he was great.""Then why don't you go out with him?""If you really don't care then talk to him and see what he thought about me.""Okay, I'll do that.""Are you sure you really don't mind?""No it's fine. I'll chat you up to him."Or some such derivation of shit.

Yeah you're probably right. But after being tired of having tons "less than aesthetically pleasing" women email me I added to my profile in frustration that I was seeking a thin girl with a nice face. Basically every time a girl emailed or IMed me and once I saw her pic I'd quickly block her and then she'd get on another SN and start calling me an asshole. I mean what the fuck, I am obligated to date every girl regardless of looks? I feel like a have "fat girls dream" written on my forehead. It's always big girls who make a move on me or send their friends to ask me out, I'm sick of this. I'm not arrogant I just know I'm good-looking, very educated, articulate, have some wealth, I'm professional and responsible so why the fuck do only "big girls" go for me? I look good why can't I find a likewise girl?I'm not shallow, that's fucked up to call me that. I just feel no attraction to those types of girls. I've had sex with "big girls" before out of desperation and immediately after felt disgusted with myself almost to the point of vomiting. I told myself "Never Again."Telling me to find a "big girl" attractive is like telling a gay guy to go "like women". I go for thin girls, mostly natural blondes or brunette with hot features, so what?I wasn't looking for "just sex" I wanted it to work out and as far as "listening to her ramble" I mean anyone who's been on the phone with a girl knows what I'm talking about. There's nothing really to say besides "uh-huh" and "that's so interesting."I dunno, I told the girl I'd get back in touch with her, I really don't want to but I have to be careful now because she's friends with the girl I like. If I go out drinking with her she'll just wait until I'm drunk and probably try to hookup with me. I'm just depressed with life now and feel no hope.

Originally Posted By: white_linesI'm not shallow, that's fucked up to call me that. I just feel no attraction to those types of girls. I've had sex with "big girls" before out of desperation and immediately after felt disgusted with myself almost to the point of vomiting. I told myself "Never Again."Telling me to find a "big girl" attractive is like telling a gay guy to go "like women". I go for thin girls, mostly natural blondes or brunette with hot features, so what?I wasn't looking for "just sex" I wanted it to work out and as far as "listening to her ramble" I mean anyone who's been on the phone with a girl knows what I'm talking about. There's nothing really to say besides "uh-huh" and "that's so interesting" Wow...this really gets on my nerves. What is it about bigger girls that apparently makes you physically sick?! That's a pretty extreme reaction to have. From the way you talk it's almost as if you can't even bear to be friends with a larger girl - which personally I just find tragic.I actually know someone like you (though female) who said she finds me physically repulsive because I have a bit of extra weight - and you know what? She's now in love and planning to move in with a slightly chunkier guy.Your comparison to gay guys liking women is a bit on the extreme side too.As for your comments about just putting up with a girl's rambling, you couldn't be further from the truth. I treasure every minute I'm on the phone to my lady-friend. Honestly I look forward to speaking to her more than anything else. She's utterly hilarious, slightly mad and genuinely an entertaining person to talk to. I've never once found myself going "uh-huh" or "that's so interesting". What does that say about the girls that you talk to? That you do not find them intellectually compatible. And do you know what that means? That you only like them for their looks.Do you see what I'm getting at here? I'm not telling you to go and date bigger girls. I'm telling you to get off your ivory tower and consider that maybe you're looking for the wrong type of girls altogether.One other thing. You seemed to be listing qualities that you think make you an excellent catch for a girl, yet none of the things you listed will get you a genuine honest girlfriend. They will get you a shallow husk of a woman. It sounds clichéd, but personality really is key here - and yours doesn't sound appealing. Sorry to say it but you really need to think about your attitude before considering yourself a 'prize catch'.

What I'm saying is I had sex with large girls before just out of loneliness and then felt sick when I woke up seeing their folds of fat, cellulite and double chins. I enjoy the time on the phone and I just try to sound as interested as I can but I really can't make myself care.So maybe I don't want people snickering behind my back seeing me walk around with some big girl. I want to feel proud introducing a girl to my parents and actually have people jealous of me. Same reason I drive a good car.I do have an appealing personality, you just all see me as an asshole because I don't run with my arms wide open torwards all the BBWs.

Okay I didn't mean it that way, I don't treat objects like women. If I were an asshole I would say I didn't want anything to do with the friend whatsoever but I'm not, I would be friends with her that's it, and it's really not worth it being friends with her anyways if I'm not dating the other girl, I mean she lives like 50 miles away. And the only reason I was willing to ever go 50 miles is for the attractive girl.

Originally Posted By: albeitmyselfI love you. Haha why thank you!white_lines:Comparing a girl to a possession is wrong, no matter how you look at it.And just a quick news-flash for you...not everyone else in the world shares your view that larger ladies are "faulty" and "comical" like you do. Some people can see past that and realise that maybe the girl is actually a genuinely nice person.In fact - you say you drive a nice car to impress people? Here in the UK we have a name for people like that:Cocks.Why do you feel you need a nice car to elevate you above other people? If you're so special surely people would realise that without the car? I agree that you need attraction to make a relationship work - but it's not the only thing. Fine, you like slim girls. Nothing wrong with that. But the way you talk about larger girls is nothing short of disgusting. You really seem to have some issue that makes you think of them as lesser people. Oh how wrong you are.If you can't make yourself care about what a girl has to say to you, how the hell can you expect them to care one iota about anything you say or do?Relationships are a two-way street.

I said before I respect all people I just want to portray an actual picture of what I deal with and how I see it from my perspective. Seriously is there someone that attracts "large" girls that I'm doing? No joke, every time I meet a new group of friends, this always happens, everywhere I go, even overseas! Should I just wear a "no fat chicks" shirt?

So what if I like nice things. I cannot impress a girl with some rusted, Chevy Cavalier missing a bumper with burn marks on the seats and a cracked windscreen. I want to show people that I know quality when I see it. Same reason I have an i-phone, same reason I have a fake rolex.

I guess that is probably true that really describes me, that's probably the answer that sums this all up and answers my question it all kind of makes sense. I am shy at first though then I quickly become the center of attention and everyone sees me as a valuable person to have around. I'm just kind of insecure around new people especially in the kind of situation I was in where I was alone and met all her friends.

I guess it's true though that women just crave jerks. Looks like I have to change.

I think you are onto something there.

I was trying to find a way to word it myself but you've done it good.

Larger girls are often down on their confidence (and usually it's totally unjustified) due to the way they hate their own image. As such they will be interested in people who also project a poor self-image. It may not be that you're upset with your appearance, but I reckon there's something else there that you need to work on.

It took me years to work this out myself.

Yeah but if you marry the guy and he's broke and you have bill collectors calling you and leaks in the ceiling, and the electricity has been off you're regret it then right?

Originally Posted By: albeitmyself  Quote: It may not be that you're upset with your appearance, but I reckon there's something else there that you need to work on. Are you addressing White Lines?Because I'm a whole other headcase :-p Yeah sorry I got all mixed up! I never get on with the reply system here!

Yes but why can't they just simply lose weight? South Beach Diet or something if being fat gives them a low self-image? It's not difficult, I decided I could lose a little and easily did it just by avoiding carbs in only a few weeks.

Well I just got to be flossin' wealth, it does project an "asshole" look which women crave.Maybe I should just move to L.A. where the women are more like that.

Depends which part of L.A. I guess.

Well there's chubby and there's obese. Which one are you referring to? I think chubby women and men are attractive. And obesity is supposed to be a disease.I know physical attraction has alot to do with it but... you should at least try and look past that every once and a while. Many people who aren't physically appealing have the most beautiful personalities. And many pretty faces are just down right ugly. I'm sorry, you're first couple of posts came off quite annoying and disturbing. But I used to do the same thing by hooking up my friends with guys who didn't like them and we're trying to go out with me. And I would get upset when they said she's too fat or yadayada ya. I understand if that wasn't their original intentions but I mean jeez. People can be so superficial nowadays.