firstly, i really dont know why im posting this, because bottom line is, i'm going to do what I want in the end.tonight might be my last night on this planet.not sure how i might go about such, but I know its the only option i'm willing to exercise.To give a little insight into my past, hers a similar thread I made quite some time ago. Thread Now, wuite literally, everything in the post has been repeated, only this time in high school.My parents have caught me, yet again, for another "thing"For four years o've put my parents through a hellish nightmare no one should be exposed to.I was an e dealer first at thirteen, then again now at fifteen.I'm next to addicted to Dexedrine, or Adderall, both prescription stimulants prescribed for ADD; which I have not been diagnosed with.Over these four year m,y parents have done anything and everything they could to help me through everything.I have done nothing to change.I stop for a while, but nothing amounts of it.I know in my heart i'm a fuck up, and ill probably never change.So why keep putting them and myself through the pain of my actions.Sure, giving up is the easy way out, but ive been down this trail far too many times to do it again.And every time im expected to just adapt to a completely new life.New friends, new hobbies, etcFUCK that.i've done far too much restarting.i've just learned that theres little, if any hope for me.i'm not sure if it might have anything to do with my drug use and emotions, but i've had my IQ tested properly, with an avg of 141, which is >99% of the population.maybe that contributes to my obsessive personality.im not sure what i'm looking for right now, because im quite sure of my decision..sometimes its just nice to get it out.this could be goodbye A2A
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The final straw, the end?
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I think, bootacoot, that anyone who considers himself to be a fuck-up, isn't. It's the people who think they are all right who are the bad people.Falling over, and painfully starting again, is an important part of life, including the lives of decent people.I wonder if you are missing a purpose in your life?Stay with us and we'll talk it out.
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Like Pete said the fuck-ups are the ones who think they have it all together.Often, the greatest thing to overcome is realizing or admitting that you are out of control. Once your able to have this insight your half way home. When we see our problems we can learn from them and let them inform our future actions. I think your need to quit thinking about a cycle of failure and instead just deal with today... let tomorrow take care of itself. If you've resolved to set yourself on the right course don't worry about losing your way down the path. Just deal with staying on the path today.What your doing is defeating yourself before you even set foot to dirt in your new way forward. If you lose your way later on deal with it then, don't waste energy worrying about it now. Now, all you need to be thinking about is putting one foot in front of the other in a new effort to move forward in life.Just remember there's no need in dealing with tomorrows problems today, after all they may never occur.
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i live in the same cycle of lifei never change, mostly because I don't want todrugs give me another side of life the regular people will never experience.so no, i dont plan to quit them.which means only one thing; this will happen again.and againand again.so fuck itive done everything i can to try and be who they want me to be.but i cant.so im done causing them the pain of dealing with a little hell child.might as well have them feel alot of pain at once, then all throughout their lives.
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Then fine, don't quit 'em. Why are you so worried about what your putting your parent through? How they deal with you and your problems is their concern, not yours. If they wanna kick ya to the curb or if they wanna accept you for what you want to be, that's their decision.
Why not just live your life and let them decide how they want to deal with you.
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yeah, i guess thats what im gonna dohomeless FTW
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I thought about it and I'm gonna do that too.
