WHAT?

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Ok so I just got back from vacation in Bennett Springs which could also be called Dead Zone, USA. I went with my mom and her freind and on the trip it was like there was a running conversation about homosexuality. I said one thing about it "in the book Every young mans battle they say that you are born gay but God wants you to change to heterosexual." moms freind said "right except you aren't born gay. They have done studies but they aren't liable because everything could have happened when they were raped because 99.5% were." ok so that pushed some buttons for me.
"Well all I know is that if you are born gay (they don't know that I am gay) then if God 'wants' you to change then there is no God"
well naturally they left it at that. And this whole conversation started because Some one came out. Well I knew they were gay so it didn't surprise me. And now his parents won't talk to him. I kinda had a crush on him but he's like early 20's and I'm 16 so doesn't work. But back to the subject. Does that piss any one else off that according to my mom and her freind that if you are gay then most likely you have been raped or sexually abused. It realy irratates me. Even if it is a choice it's a choice made by others for you and I don't think it's a choice.

It is hardly likely that being gay comes from being raped, but even if it were true it wouldn't be a choice.I doubt that there is much point in trying to change your mother's mind. It's likely that her views are based on a worldview, any change to which she would find very threatening.

Agian with the whole you can only change yourself and not others thing. Gosh it's so annoying! Oh and I'm thinking about coming out to my counsoler but I'm scared cause she's a Christian counsoler. So I don't know if I should.

Is there a good reason to tell her?Counsellors are supposed to keep what they are told confidential, but they don't always do what they are supposed to do.

No there isn't a good reason so I don't know why I should tell her.

Then don't. Save it for when you have the capacity to support yourself and won't need to rely on anyone.

Originally Posted By: OldFolks

Then don't. Save it for when you have the capacity to support yourself and won't need to rely on anyone.

I agree. If there is no reason and it might end up causing you more issues in the end, than I wouldn't even bother.

As for everything else, at least you know better. Though it wouldn't be the first time I hear people state the reason people are gay is because we were molested/raped when we were younger. I was never raped or molested and I am still gay. I think the whole thing is just silly.

Thank you. I too agree that it's a very silly and stupid thought.

I think he meant his guidance counselor in school, but I disagree with you.I do agree with Scott. There's not much good in doing it, if there's nothing good going to come of it, and you should be able to handle it when people flip out, if they do, by supporting yourself, and knowing you're okay.And like Pete said, counselors don't always keep quiet, especially school employed ones.

No I ment counsoler that my parents pay for, because they think I'm depressed and I was but I'm fine now. I don't know wether or not I should tel her because she's a Christian counsoler, like in a church building.

My thoughts are this...As long as you are accepting of yourself and you are not endangerous yourself I don't see the reason to tell your therapist anything about your sexuality. My main concern is the fact you are not ready to come out to your parents, and your therapist might decide to do so for you. As Pete said not all therapist keep things between themselves and their client.. especially when their client is under aged.

There is no reason your Counselor should need to share that information with your parents. Did you discuss confidentiality with her at all? How did she explain it to you? Typically the only reasons to break confidentiality is for safety and protection issues.As for her being a "Christian" counselor who works in a church, don't assume that means she will be judgmental or shocked or whatever. I know many who work under these circumstances who would be pretty much what you need them to be. Of course, you know the Counselor and the church better than I do (obviously!) and have a better grasp on what to expect.What would your reasons be for sharing this information with your counselor? If it's just to be able to announce it to someone...well, you might wanna think about it. If it's because you feel like you need help with muddling through some of the issues that come from coming to terms with it, coming out, or whatever, she might be a good source of help. Even if she has moral issues with homosexuality specifically, she can still help you with issues such as anxiety, fear, social issues, and whatnot that might stem from the situation.

Well actually... now that I think about it, most of my gay guy friends were either molested or raped when they were younger... I haven't read that book "Every man's battle" but I heard it was good. A couple of my guy friends are reading.A couple of my girlfriends and I are reading the female version "Every Woman's Battle". It's extremely good. Revealing so many things that I never really thought about but actually make so much sense.

Ok and thanks. You guys are ussually pretty helpful.

Just to be clear, I thought you were talking about a school counselor. Even if it's a shrink I would still be very cautious about telling her everything. If there's no real need I would let it lay.

Originally Posted By: JapanFan14

I haven't read that book "Every man's battle" but I heard it was good. A couple of my guy friends are reading.

Every Man's Battle Workshop...

"Porn. Lust. Affairs. They've taken your life to a place you never could have imagined. It's a serious problem that requires a serious solution. The Every Man's Battle Workshop is the place where men engage in the battle to get back their sexual integrity. In this intensive three-day workshop you'll work with licensed Christian counselors who will arm you with the weapons you need for victory. The enemy may have wounded you, but the battle is not over. Register today. Too much is at stake not to take action"

Good thing it the Christian Counselors are out there helping men find the right path away from Porn, Lust and affairs.... No sex....Ever again. Whenever you have the urge or are horny... Read the bible. It's a sure thing to kill your hard-on. Nobody else is qualified to do the job according to the Christians....

These are probably the same Christian Counselors who claim they can turn a gay man straight just by prayer and bible scriptures.....

Seriously???? Why do people believe this crock of shit in the first place???

Sorry No offense.

Lets think about how gays are treated in places... and that's why they believe it because people have told them thatthey are an abomanation and that we will burn in hell and any one who is a (I quote from Fred Phelps) "gay enabler". These people promis a "cure" to our "affliction". Yep that's what they call it an affliction. We are deiseased *scream & run* because were "taking over the world" save your self from the "fags" or suffer in the pits of eternal damnation. They are the most ignorrant people in the world who else would agree?

I agree entirely with you, Deek. People are very ignorant when it comes to homosexuality. I do, however, say that you should tell your therapist everything. Remind her, first, at the beginning of the session that she is bound as a therapist by the Hippocratic Oath, especially this part:I will respect the privacy of my patients, for their problems are not disclosed to me that the world may know. Most especially must I tread with care in matters of life and death. If it is given me to save a life, all thanks. But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God. Tell her that the information in this session is NOT to be disclosed to any one at any time.

As a counselor, she would not take the Hippocatic oath and is thus not bound be it. The oath is taken by Physicians. However, as a licensed counselor, she is bound by the canons of her profession and should not reveal information in the counseling process unless required by a court of law. Certainly that would not be the situation in this case, but I can understand Deek's concerns.