Don't Want to be Gay, Help!

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Originally Posted By: shawungaFrom what I understand very few people are 100% gay or straight.That is correct nearly all people fall somewhere on the spectrum and few are at the extremes of being completely homosexual or heterosexual. For me, personally, quantifying degrees of sexuality is an exercise in futility but I don't have a problem with my sexuality so that may color my feelings.

I can not agree with that.I smoke, and have for about 25 years? I dunno, Im 38 and have been smoking since I was 14 and am to lazy to do that math. I get strong sexual urges all the time, and very strong ones when Im high. I am still geared towards women. I think that having a puff of the green may intensify sexual urges, but I do not think it has an effect on who to carry those urges out with.I could be wrong, just speaking on personal experience. See if I can find any studies that have been done looking in to that for you.Well more for me, now Im curious about it and I can not stand to have a question and not know an answer if one exists.

maybe i just won't do anything til i finish law school. maybe i should just completely forget about women and the whole sexuality thing, once i graduate i figure enough attractive women will take the initiative with me if only for the income potential i have. i really don't care though, if that's what it takes i'll do it.

really want to start a MJ debate in this thread Rad?I can prove with science that I would be worse off.Well to be realistic I can not prove Id be worse off, but I can prove its helpful and good and and something that is not dangerous.This is about his fear of being gay, and I think far to important a subject to start a mj debate in this thread, but if there were a thread of its own about MJ benefits and fears, Id be happy to write a book worth of shit in that thread.Your 100% right about alot of what we think having an effect, its a proven fact. I can not argue against that. But I do not wish to tackle any of it in this particular thread as I think this thread gets to a serious problem that has a toll on alot of people. Many wasted lives and miserable existences stem from this problem. Many from the mj problem as well. Each deserves the respect of its own thread as they are separate problems and in the future each thread could have a profound effect on people who come later on looking for answers.Want to get in to MJ? start a thread, if time allows later on Ill do it myself, its far past the time an honest debate were carried out about it and people became educated on it.Since this one already exists on the gay thing, I think its best to keep it in that direction.Im all for highjacking (spelling and pun intended), but not this thread in this case.

Or. maybe you should relax a bit, do what comes naturally and explore the feelings you have to determine what they really are.If you always worry about it and obsess over it, you can never really get a feeling for what is right, instead of what you perceive to be right, based on societies rules.If I were you, Id stop thinking about it so much. Its driving you batshit.Get out, do somethign fun, smoke a fatty with some friends, go out to a movie, have some fun.School, especially law school can be a real bitch and very stressful.My uncle went through it later in life after he was married, working full time at night and attending law school in san diego area. It nearly killed him. Paid off in teh end, but his marriage is over, 3 kids in college themselves now, one autistic, 7 grand a month in alimony, a 3 million dollar house lost and living in a shitty apartment driving a volvo instead of the Porsche he used to trade in on a lease every 12 months for the latest model.You got enough shit to deal with with school, with out stressing over this shit.work your ass off, but take some time for some fun and stop thinking so hard about what you are. Youll be much happier just being who you are instead of always trying to define it.

Well then, it would seem your due for an education. You know more than you think, I recall you watching a film I recommended a bit ago and were eager to share with your daughter.or am I remembering wrong? I could have you confused with someone else I guess. If it just made you tired, you smoke more than you needed to. My dad is having that problem starting it off on pain control and his stomach and what not.Luckily for him he is in washington and it has legal medical uses if you have a note from the doc.Luckily he also has me to guide him.Its odd to have a conversation about cooking, smoking and vaporizing weed with your dad when your 38 and he is 74, especially given the past when he would go batshit finding my plants and several ounces of bud in my room back in high school.The old man has come along way in the last 20 years.

I did not shit on trying it, I just said that I think its wrong, but was going to see if I can find any studies on it.
Its part of an honest open debate. I can not conceive that MJ is responsible for people seeking out gay sex.
Its my opinion, but I am willing to consider it, and see if I can find any actual proof it could be right.

Id love to get back to him, just as soon as you understand that I did not object to trying that out, only to the direct connection of MJ causing his feelings of being gay.

Well i still think no matter what i will never stop trying to have sex with women. If I ever have the chance i will never say no provided she's attractive enough. I just want to know why in the past I have been able to produce an erection for sex and now I can't. Before all it took was kissing or touching a girl and I'd have it, the last time I tried to have sex I pathetically tried to jerk myself off to no avail, it's like my penis just stopped functioning, it was dead or something. Is there a way to destroy my sex drive completely? If I have no sex drive then I have no deviant thoughts.I hold a lot of hope for the future. I mean they're close to finding ways to make blind people see again, how long realistically til they make a pill to make people straight?

Like Rad, I was to stress the option of getting some counseling, and by a neutral party. I think you would truly benefit from having a professional help work through your sexuality issues. As other have also said, when it comes to sex you are stressing yourself out; its no longer enjoyable. You are putting so much pressure on yourself to perform that in the end you just cannot meet. Again you have to ask yourself.. is it more important to be happy in life or to lead a life of frustration and anxiety.Please seek out a counselor and get professional help so can work through these issues and start leading a more satisfied life.

Originally Posted By: shawungaWell i still think no matter what i will never stop trying to have sex with women. If I ever have the chance i will never say no provided she's attractive enough. I just want to know why in the past I have been able to produce an erection for sex and now I can't. Before all it took was kissing or touching a girl and I'd have it, the last time I tried to have sex I pathetically tried to jerk myself off to no avail, it's like my penis just stopped functioning, it was dead or something. Is there a way to destroy my sex drive completely? If I have no sex drive then I have no deviant thoughts.I hold a lot of hope for the future. I mean they're close to finding ways to make blind people see again, how long realistically til they make a pill to make people straight? You're feeling a ton of tension about sex; no wonder your cock doesn't get hard. It's a barometer of how you feel.Gonna be blunt here: your problem is not that you are gay or straight or bi or whatever, it's that you're beating yourself over the head with your sexuality. You have to get some peace about this. You won't turn straight by hating feeling attracted to other dudes.Go find someone to talk with about this. There's different options to get counseling, especially if you live in a larger city or a college town. Get some peace with yourself, and then go get some hot sex.Besides, no woman worth having an orgasm with is going to want to get in bed with a guy who's hating himself over sex.

counseling is kinda out of the question because that would involve verbally telling another person all about everything and that just makes it too "real." i figure as long as i try and forget about it and push it out of my head it isn't there.i've determined i will kill myself before i ever go public because it is simply unacceptable to live that way in my own viewpoint. don't get me wrong, it's fine that other people do it, just for me to do it would be unacceptable.i was willed a $20,000 diamond engagement ring, it really wouldn't look good on a guys hand and i'd completely let down the person who willed it to me if i didn't give it to a girl.

I wonder, shawunga, if you are putting dreams and fantasies ahead of reality? In all of life, we have plans and ideas for our future life - but life tends to throw them out of the window and give us quite different things that we would never have dreamed of. If we try to resist reality, what happens is that we still don't get what we want, and we don't enjoy what we have.I'm not talking about just sexuality, but everything. We don't quite get the career we originally planned. We don't get the children we planned. All sexuality issues aside, we don't get the wife we planned (mine was going to be a blonde lexicographer). Forget about the self-help books that tell you that if you set goals firmly enough you will will achieve them - this is not how life works.I really hope you don't put your life and your happiness into a dead person's hands. If you have no use for it, sell the ring for a down payment on a house, or something else useful.

Originally Posted By: IneligibleI wonder, shawunga, if you are putting dreams and fantasies ahead of reality? In all of life, we have plans and ideas for our future life - but life tends to throw them out of the window and give us quite different things that we would never have dreamed of. If we try to resist reality, what happens is that we still don't get what we want, and we don't enjoy what we have.I'm not talking about just sexuality, but everything. We don't quite get the career we originally planned. We don't get the children we planned. All sexuality issues aside, we don't get the wife we planned (mine was going to be a blonde lexicographer). Forget about the self-help books that tell you that if you set goals firmly enough you will will achieve them - this is not how life works.No truer words have ever been written. The one thing we can count on in life is that whatever we imagine life will be is the one thing that it won't.Shaw, for some it's a bleak fact of life that all we can do is make the best of the hand we're dealt. Once you make piece with that reality though, that fact isn't so bleak. Beyond that accepting that reality can take a lot weight off your shoulders.

The real truth here is that being gay is not normal and that's why I won't live that way. There is absolutely no scientific purpose for it. I don't believe in god, I believe in science and evolution and every single trait, behavior, feature etc. should all have an evolutionary purpose. The only thing homosexuality serves to accomplish is human extinction. To say that some people are born gay and it's the way they're meant to be is to acknowledge that god exists and people are "pre-destined." I say fuck that and fuck god.People may be "born gay" but that doesn't make it normal. It's just the recent gay rights movement that sought to "normalize it." It makes sense, I mean no one wants to be labeled a deviant but I believe it's a mental illness. I also think there have to be other factors, like not having a father, or being bullied, or having girls reject you that trigger it to become active. People are born with Schizophrenia, pedophilia, tendencies to rape, murder, etc and we don't call those alternative lifestyles. Normalizing homosexuality only opens the door for a "pedophile rights movement" in 25-30 years.Sorry if this offends anyone, it's the way I feel about it and it doesn't make anyone bad or anything.

So don't live that way. It honestly makes no difference to anyone other than yourself. Just be honest with yourself in your own mind. Trying to lie to yourself is a fools game.>>>"People are born with Schizophrenia, pedophilia, tendencies to rape, murder, etc and we don't call those alternative lifestyles."Whatever you believe about homosexuality, the difference is that all the things you've listed effect other people. Homosexuality doesn't effect or hurt anyone else.

Well it affects the family of the person afflicted, it affects the people they are around on a day to day basis. Mental illnesses like OCD, Schizophrenia, Autism, are pretty much passive and don't really affect anyone else either but we don't put a positive spin on it. I feel like the whole gay rights movement is just an effort to make something seem normal when deep down I think every gay person really knows they aren't living a life that humans are meant to. The entire purpose of any species is to reproduce, nothing else, some animals live long enough only to reproduce and die, their only function. Everything alive in the world follows this equation. Like I said before though, technology is getting further ahead, scientists are getting better at understanding the process of the human brain. In 100 years maybe no one will ever even have heard of homosexuality because it will be fixable. I only hope that day comes soon enough so I don't have to splatter my brains on the wall of some cheap motel room because I'll never have the life I want and I won't have it any other way.

Perhaps let me just rephrase everything. How can I appear more straight and masculine. If I'm going deep undercover I need all the advice I can get.Should I start taking steroids or testosterone? What about drinking bull blood? I am willing to do anything. Even go to some third world country and undertake some bizarre form of surgery.Where do you get steroids? Mexico?

Well than that organism has failed and it's DNA will not pass on. Whatever it accomplishes be that winning the nobel prize, curing cancer, flying a spaceship to Saturn, etc... really doesn't matter because it still didn't reproduce. A million years from now neither the organism or whatever it did probably won't be remembered but if it has a very distant descendant it at least did something right. If you're gay and you die and that's it, nothing of your cellular code continues on, you're forgotten eventually no matter who you are and what you did.

You're forgotten even if your DNA is passed on. Surely humans can do more than merely reproduce - bacteria can do that.