i got to college now, and i have to stay in the domr with a roomate. well, he is rather closed about sexual issues, and one day when he was gone i started to jack off. well, he walked in, but i was able to cover up in time. i confronted him later with the old famous "whats your take on jacking off". well, he freaked. i dont know why but he just said, no, never, i jack off, but never here, never in the same building as another guy. so, i dont know what to do. it makes it rather difficult when you cant jack off at night, knowing that if you did, your roomate might kill you. do any of you have some sudgestion, or does anyone have a story that might help.i want to be more open with sexual issues, but hes making me feel guilty almost. What do i do.
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Freaking me out
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this guy seems to have extreme homophobia. Or he's brought up to be ashamed of talking, doing, or mentioning sex. Don't feel guilty. I was wondering can you change your dormroom. Or sit him down one night just let him know that its not a big deal. Talk to him a bit by bit each day to open him up. If he's a new college kid like you then he's just uptight about the sudden change. Everyone changes, just change him a bit by bit! Also if u jack off at night..how would he know? He should respect with what you want to do.
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Well it looks like you got yourself into a sticky situation. I’m only 17 but I would suggest that you first try to honor the mans wishes and do it some where else (car, bathroom, another room, Ect...) If you don’t think that will work then second you could show him that its “cool” and ok to do things like that because every one does it, sometimes alone sometimes not. I would suggest that you in get your G/F (if you have one) or another girl to be sucking you off when he walk into the room. This might change his mind on the subject. If all else fails (now I don’t know you all and I don’t know I you have a sense of humor of not) but you could put up a large poster in your room that says “masturbate for peace” lol. I might just break him in a little to the whole concept.
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Get a copy of his class schedule so you know when he'll be away. Use that time for your masturbation. There's nothing wrong with you doing it, but respect his obvious desire not to be a part of it.The funny thing is if you would come home and catch him in the sack with his girlfriend. How would you react to that?
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I agree with readytogo. Different people have different boundaries and you should respect them. Keep in mind that the guys who post on this board aren't representative of the real world. Most guys probably wouldn't want you to jack off when they're in the room. And it's not a matter of being closed minded as far as I see it. He is obviously open about the fact that he masturbates, he just feels it should be a private matter.
I've had all kinds of roommates. Current roommate doesn't even want to be seen naked and will sometimes avoid seeing me naked. Another roommate was pretty open with nudity, would even be naked in front of me with an erection, but considered masturbation private. Another roommate I had was open and we actually got naked and masturbated at the same time in our dorm room.
It's just about respecting boundaries.
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well, so far its sounding like respect him, but also dont be afraid to ask him about it. ill see if i can talk to him, and see what his problem with it really is. if its religious or something, i dont plan on going any further, thats one area that i respect deeply.
any other sudgestions, id love to hear -
I think that you should be able to masturbate when you get the feeling and not feel uncomfortable about it. Unfortunately, it seems like your roommate has to deal with some hard core issues. I think that before you just jump into the whole sex subject you should just get to know him in a more relaxed situation that would allow him to open up without getting defensive. But until then you're just gonna have to have J/O in the shower.Good luck
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In reply to: Maybe he's just young and was raised by repressive parents who didnt talk to him about sex. I don't know whether to laugh, cringe, or yell WTF! These suggestions that this guy is repressed or has faulty upbringing or is dealing with deep issues are absurd. The guy isn't comfortable with his roommate jacking off when he's in the room. How does that make him weird? I promise you, if you poll 1000 guys of any age and ask them how comfortable they are with this, an easy majority would say they weren't at all. Those who are comfortable with it would constitute a clear minority. (Hmmm...I need a big research project for school...maybe... ).So please, choosing to keep one's sexuality private doesn't make him a repressed wierdo. Besides, he's obviously open enough to talk about it and even share that he does it. How is that repressed?
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In reply to:
I think that you should be able to masturbate when you get the feeling and not feel uncomfortable about it.
So you're saying that when I'm doing my big presentation for the faculty of the school later this month and am getting hot and botherd because the Spanish teacher is hot, I should be able to whip it out and jack off right there. Screw them and their repressive ways if they're offended!
...or would you like to ammend your statement?
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I think she means while he's at "home" in his dorm room.
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In reply to: I think she means while he's at "home" in his dorm room. You could be right. If so, I stand corrected.But here's the thing...We obviosly would all agree that rhere are places and times and certain people around whom it is not appropriate to masturbate openly. Who are we to think we get to decide when that is for everyone else?
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well, your just in luck today. like i said, this has been bugging me for a while, so i have started up some polls about 4 monthes ago. this group in itself is basically a poll for me. as of now, i have polled over 500 people (guys) about the situation. 77% say they jack off with their roommates. of those 77%, 70% are straight, 20% are unsure, and the rest are either bi or gay. and, of all the people polled 79% said that it wasnt gay to whack with your roommate around, and 72% said it was not gay to whack off with your roommate (aka. mutual). so, because i thought this information was a little on the gay side, i decided to start up another poll. polling 150 people, i got just about the same results from an 83% straight demographic. thus, i am here, "polling" in a way you guys to see what the general attitude is. if you have any more questions on the polling, feel free to ask me.
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What? Through 4 years of college, I never jacked off with any of my roommates! And you're trying to tell me more than three quarters of all college guys jack off with their roommates?!?! I find that hard to believe. Out of the 4 years of roommates in college, I caught ONE of them masturbating ONCE at night just from listening to him (he thought I was asleep). And I sure as hell didn't interrupt him and join him. And I'm sorry, but jacking off with another guy is a gay act. That doesn't necessarily make you gay in itself, but its definitely a gay act.
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That's well and good and I appreciate your work on this, but I would have to question your methods. Where are you getting your sample? If your polls are conducted on internet sites such as this, it would be worlds away from a good random sampling. I believe it is safe to say that guys who are likely to post here are more likely to have masturbated with a roommate than those who don't visit sites like this. It's kind of like polling the members of a Baptist Student Union to find out what percentage of all college kids attend church regularly while they're in college.A good way to get a good random sample, and control for most variables, is to poll randomly at a college campus. If you chose say 100 guys at random on a college campus, that would be a good sample and your research would have greater internal validity. And I bet your results would be way different.Sorry to sound like such a research geek. (By the way, I've had 12 roommates, have masturbated with one, never caught any of them masturbating, and never been caught by any of them...to my knowledge.)
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well i know what you mean about the random selection. that is why i have been visiting a bunch of different forums and polling sites to try and get a different selection. but, like you said, no matter where i go, im still surveying through the internet and causes me not to have a random selection. and dont worry about being a survey geek, ive done some of this too, and i know my survey results mean jack squat because of who i surveyed.
