How screwed am I?

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ME_MYSELF_AND_I, I think your posting makes a lot of sense. But it's hard to give up, even if there's only a little chance of helping.

HiI'm pretty similar to your situation FabMX, I smoke weed a lot to forget my problems and to get me thiking happy thoughts cuz thats the only way I know how to release my stress, im severely depressed, im alone, i have no family that cares for me, ive seen multiple therapists and none could do sht for me...when I'm sober I cant think anything but negative thoughts, so I HATE being sober and know how u feel. But it sounds like your mom still gives a sht about you, and i'm sure your dad will understand your feelings if you havent told him yet. You're parents arent fuked up are they? if so its a dif. story...And you keep saying "my friends bla bla bla" i say "at least you have friends!" so you havent lost everything yet...unless your friends are fed up like mine I'm not telling you to compare yourself with me or anyone else, but try to think what you still have left and if you still feel hopeless and absolutely want to die then it's for your best to do that before you start goin mad and shootin up schools or hurting someone. But remember that your life is not all yours, a lot of people were/are involved in your survival, so think about that too before takin care of business.And to everyone else, if these people can escape their horrible lives by dying and they have no other choice, then its good for them, lets hope they have a better afterlife (its the least we can do)

Great... Because all of my shit, my parents are argueing now. I heard things that lead me to believe they are talking about spiliting up. I caused all of this. I now think its time.

It didn't work. I slit my wrist and hit my temple about 20 times per side. That was the last thing I remember. Unfortuantly, I woke up still in my room.

I've very glad you're still here. Please, please don't do it again.I don't think children cause their parents to split up. Sometimes the extra stress (there is always extra stress) speeds up a rift that was already there. It's not right to say you caused it - and even if it were true, it wouldn't be your fault.When parents take the responsibility of bring another life into the world, that responsibility includes the fact the the new life is someone different, not an extension of themselves. That new person is as important as they are, and his/her problems are as important as theirs, if not more so.

thats really not a good way if you really wanna kill yourself. If you live in the midwest you should come over and i can introduce u to my mosberg and sig. Just kidding, but seriously man, if youre not gonna listen to anything people say on here dont bother telling us about it cuz it just concerns us all. Ive known some people like u and none have actually killed themselves and when I ask them "u want me to shoot u for u?" they say no. i hope u say no to my offer too.

I got a 12 in the closet, I just dont want to use a gun. I've told people to shoot me before. They didn't cause their friends, but a month or two ago I had a gun a pulled on me. I raced this guy and had him beat, until he wouldn't slow for oncoming traffic (Were doing 95+ mph ) .. So I hit a hard right so the fucker wouldn't go head on. We get to the signal and he pulled out a pistol and put one in the chamber.. He looked in his rear view and I just started laughing at him. Little pussy wouldn't do anything. Typical I guess. Thinks he is a bad ass just because he has a peice.

I dont know why Im depressed anymore. I think the world events have something to do with it. I see whats going on in the world and think "What the point?". We have wars, school shootings, terriost attacks, nuclear threats and so on. I guess I need to become 'less mature'. Act more like a teenager. Have a little fun. But, the only thing I find fun is cars and weed. I'm even planning to take weed to a more mature level when I turn 18, become a medical user. I just dont know. What I do doesn't match the rest of my peers. They have fun by talking to chicks/guys (depends on sex they are) .. shopping... having lunch with friends... hanging at the mall... They even have fun at school.. at like rallys and such. I hated it. I always told people it was a waste of time and it was to inmature. Only place I act inmature is on the internet, because no one knows me. I'm even losing that tho. My friends talk about how they want to party a little once they graduate, I talk about how I want to take on a full time job, rent an apartment, and buy a new car. They just dont worry about it for some reason. Even my friends that dont smoke or drink. Here I am, a fucking hardcore stoner, worrying about my life. Why is that?! I shouldn't be. I should be having simple fun like everyone else. Even my car thing is usually by myself. I just dont see the point of endangering anyone else. I think Im done. If this doesn't make any sense, I'm sorry.

haha thats crazy stuff u should watch out for that type of shit. from reading what you write you sound like a normal kid who just goes to school and like weed and cars (sounds typical, like me when i was your age), not affiliated with gangs are u (or maybe u r if u have a gun and youre not 18 yet you know what you wanna do when youre out of highschool, thats good too. But i understand how u feel alone and out of place, i felt the same way in school cuz everyone else has "normal lives". Sorry this post is just me babbling, i hope u dont turn out like me though.

i forgot to say 1 thing...literally, u have friends that wont shoot you, so they obviously care or value your life, somewhat. I've had friends sell me to the cops, stabbed me in the back (literally, got slashed with a knife on my lower back, have like a 8 inch scar its gonna stay with me for life and remind me of my past), so i guess i cant even consider them friends...so id say you have it pretty good in the friends department, hella better than me at least. If they are good friends then thats at least 1 positive thing in your life. I know a guy who ran away from his house when he was 14, he used to cut and do all sorts of shit before he ran away but since then hes been pretty decent hes 22 now graduating with a marketing degree, so maybe things will change when u move out and get away from your rents (u wont have to deal with em nemore)...i dunno what grade youre in but u should wait for a bit longer after you move out to pull the trigger, but I hope you dont'.

RE:'If you are going to kill yourself you are gonna do it. You are not going to be persuaded by what total strangers say. You wont come here asking for suggestions on methods....if you do, its a cry for help.'thats true i think. the times when i overdosed and told people first were the less serious times, its when you tell people and make them worried, even if you dont know them, that means that you are doing it so that people tell you what you want to hear. if you really wanted to die and didnt care about the world, you would do it without telling anyone at all. not that you should necessarily - thats up to you. i understand tho, life is rubbish and pointless, do what you want.

Except I dont want to hear anything. I just hate being left 'hanging', so I wont do that to others.The last thing I remember going through my head, as I blacked out, was "I finally did it right". When I woke up, the first thing I thought was "Is this my after life?" and I opened my eyes more and looked around and reliazed I was in my room still. I then had a disappointed feeling come over me.

PLEASE READ!! my last post for u, and make up your mindIm tryin to figure out why you dont say much to my posts...is it cuz what i say about you and your friends are true? do u honestly have real problems? u even own a gun kid? im starting to doubt all this, maybe you have a stable social life with decent friends? but dont want to accept it cuz u wanna think youre screwed so u have a place to blame all your issues on or afraid of the challenge of trying to recover. youre rents might split, so? I know some people whos family members have been lynched and/or killed cuz of street shit that their kids were involved in, hows that for causing the death of your loved ones? youre just alive, or r u involved in that sorta shit that endangers people around you? sure doesnt sound like itFrom what youve written in frequent posts u honestly sound like a normal high schooler. someone whos really hopeless and determined to die dont talk about 50cent or how they should or shouldnt pull the feeding tube on Terri, real heartless people dont give a shit about what happens to anyone, which leads me to think you might just have a regular life style, a normal dude. And people give you advice but I dont think I found any posts where youve actually taken the advice, you just keep sayig im fucked up im gonna kill myself. You also said "i want it quick", if you are for quick death then seriously, blast yourself, its the quickest and most efficient way that ive seen people kill/die, its common sense from world history class.Im not saying this to be mean or criticize you by any means, I'm just wondering why you dont just kill yourself already...you want to, you can, so why not do it? whats seriously holding you back? you obviously dont want to live...but people who don wanna live dont usually have plans for the future man, and they dont have ambitions like wanting to buy a new car when you move out, nor give a shit about whats going on around them or the world.hope u don mind but i read a lot of your posts, i can say that ive known many worse people than you, i wish i could take you around and show you maybe you need to experience what it really is to be hopeless and losing everything. I'm by no means tellin u to compare yourself to others cuz everyones problems are diferent, but perhaps u need to see the real fucked up side of society then maybe u will find more appreciation on what you do have, cuz u sound like u have it pretty good to me. I'm not tryin to sound all thug or ghetto theres absolutely nothing to be proud of it, but im talkin from pure experience. lemme tell u somethin, gangs look for people on the streets who look like they have little hope for the future to do the dirty work by bribing them how much money they can make if they do this job, and when its all done u can prolly guess what happens to em, of course they are hopeless people anyway so no one cares if they die or r missing. you dont know what it really is to be fucked up or losing everything, ok? b/c i don see that in you, at least not from what youve written. when you understand all that and still feel the same then you can say whatever the fuck you want, kill yourself or whateva. u still have a choice. maybe in the near future ull finally succeed in killin yourself, but if youre gonna die not too long from now just fuckin do it now and save yourself the misery of going through all your problems and decision making. if shits been goin bad for a long time then a few months or few years of extra time isnt gonna change anything if you dont realize this.I apologize if what I said about u is wrong and my profanity. if I sounded like I was attacking u, I'm not. I'm fucked up myself so I shouldnt even be saying these things to you, but I've known young guns with potential that are fucked for a good portion of their life cuz of stupid shit maybe myself included, but you dont sound like an idiot. make up your damn mind soon otehrwise you never will. i ain gonna say anotha word to u cuz i said all i can say, good luck whatever u decide to do

Two things you should know if you are getting serious about suicide...

(1) Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

(2) When people who have attempted suicide and failed are interviewed later in life, something like three fourths of them are glad to still be alive.

You will have long enough to be dead anyway, there is no hurry, so why not stick around a while and see what the future holds...times change, moods and attitudes change, someone said that the only constant is change...

So why not stick around, just out of curiousity, see what the future holds for you, you might be pleasntly surpised...

This is my first post, so this is enough for now...

I PM'd you.

In reply to:When people who have attempted suicide and failed are interviewed later in life, something like three fourths of them are glad to still be alive.Excellent point. When I said somewhere that depressed people aren't in the right frame of mind to make the decision to end their lives...this is what I was thinking.

thanks so much. your post really helped me to see what i used to know all the time. i am a firm believer in change, always have been. but the last week or so i had been in a really bad place. your post helped to remind me..

kill yourself and prove they were all right about you

may i ask your age?

c'mon is there anything you'd like us to know about yourself?

dude remeber suicide is a permanate solution to a temperatry problem ...