Nanny 911

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I love it when people assume, that when I say spanking, I mean taking the kid out the back, stripping them of pants and wailing on them. Of course it's wrong to beat your children for no particular reason, I agree with that. If you do it, cause your drunk/mad/no reason at all, that's not appropriate. But like No1sexpot said, if your child is talking back to you, cursing, yelling at you non stop, You have an obligation to put that child in their place.

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Violence begets violence

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(Lets see how many other dead threads we can bring up, hmm...)
Not true, you can't generalize like that. I am a serious believer that violence doesn't always solve things. But you also can not lump spanking a child when they've obviously done wrong, into the category of violence. If you've ever watched a daytime television show, not Springer or any other that scripted shit, when the child is out of control, the parents say, "I've tried everything, grounding, talking, yelling, and nothing seems to work..." there is always that parent in the audience who stands up and says, " You need to spank your child's ass!" and what do you hear from the surrounding audience? CHEERS! Maybe if more parents spanked, NOT BEAT their child when THEY HAVE DONE WRONG, my american generation, and the ones that follow would not have been so disrespectful. (white lines is a prime example, I'm betting his parents never punished him, Oh, and soviet guy).

dictionary definition of violence:

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Physical force exerted for the purpose of violating, damaging, or abusing: crimes of violence.
The act or an instance of violent action or behavior.
Intensity or severity, as in natural phenomena; untamed force: the violence of a tornado.
Abusive or unjust exercise of power.
Abuse or injury to meaning, content, or intent: do violence to a text.
Vehemence of feeling or expression; fervor.

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Nothing in there about justly exerting punishment on your child when they have obviously done something wrong, not like color outside the lines, or drop milk on the floor, but cursing out the parent, or person of authority--when it's uncalled for.

I don't know if there's a condition where hitting a child is necessary and there's no alternative, but some parents shouldn't be raising a hamster, much less a child. I've met dirtbag parents who say things like, "My parents hit me, and look how good I turned out!" I can't think of the last time I was impressed by a parent who said that.

And I can see where you and AW are coming from...

as a dad, I've found calm but physical restraint of a hysterical child to be quite effective. I can remember a specific time where my son was going mental for no reason. I held him firmly under one arm while drinking my coffee. I got a bunch of strange looks but he gave up without being hit.To tell you the truth, I've never beaten the crap out of anyone smaller than me.

My hats off to you. Any parent who can do that, has my respect. But I wasn't saying beat the crap out of them.

thanks, I appreciate that

yeah i have some asshole cousins. i dont beat them but i make them hurt themselves without even forcing them. that way, i dont have to hurt them even more.

> calm but physical restraint of a hysterical child to be quite effective

That's very wise. There is a lot of evidence in human and animal behavior that backs up your method.

question for everyone. Is hitting someone back a reflex or something that they learned ? I see this a lot with children, when you try to physically restrain them they either try to punch you, kick you or bite you. Is this something the child learn to do from either watching parents, siblings or the media or is it something the child instinctively knows how to do?

Maybe not for a regular child but the ones on that show are pure evil and are a product of a blasphemous satanic orgy deep in hell. I watched one of those shows and said to myself "holy shit, if those were my kids i would have smothered them with a pillow while they slept". and the parents on the show shouldnt be allowed to breed.

bad, nasty children are usually a result as shitty, lazy , nasty parents, they don't come out like that you know..........

I am all for physical restraint of a child and other forms of punishment over a "smack" on the butt.

BUT I still say there are times with a swift smack on the butt is necessary, and not a bad form of punishment. I think a combination of explanitory punishment and the physical punishment (and I mean a smack on the butt or hands.. not a beat down lol) is really the best.

An example of this would me how my siblings and I were raised and how my sister raises her children. When raised we were punished both ways. We always respected our elders in the family as well else those not in out family (teachers, neighbors etc etc). Now my sister on the other hands doesn't believe in smacking (Which is her call, it's her children) but though I love these children to death, they are big brats that scream when they dont get their way and talk back all the time to my sister and her husband.

But now when the come and visit and stay with their grandparents, they are on their best behaviors and don't talk back (usually) because my grandmother has smack them both on the butts and put them in time out. Basically my mother (their grandmother) shows she means business and it won't be tolerated.

Again this is going on my family and my experiences, to me just seems a combination of both punishment is what seems to work well..again for my family.

(And I'd like to point out when we got smack..it never left bruises or welts.. it was just hard enough to knwo they meant business. There is a huge difference between being smacked and being beat)

Wow...I can't even imagine having gotten smacked by my grandparents.

However people themselves were raised, they usually think that is the best way way to raise their kids. It's the same way they feel about their religion, their country, their clique, etc.

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I held him firmly under one arm while drinking my coffee. I got a bunch of strange looks but he gave up without being hit.

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I love you.

Honestly (and I am sure you'll disagree), just talking to a child or "restraining" them will not work for all children when it comes to punishement. Now the talkings worked great for me, I was maybe only smacked on the butt 2-3 times as a child. Now as for my neice and nephew, sorry but talking isn't working.. hasn't worked in the 6 years they have been around. I just find it humorous because they are good children (most of the time) when visiting my parents, but not at home with their parents. My sister and my parents have two different styles of punishments and sorry to say it my parents are getting a much more positive reaction.Again now saying this is right for everyone.

Kids often act better with people other than their parents. They know how to push their parents buttons, how to set one against the other, etc. In any case, the times I've been left with the kid (of various people), I have never hit them...never had to. I can't say that I've never yelled, but I can say that I have never hit.

The most difficult case I can think of is one boy who, with his sister, suffered through a terrible divorce and a crazy custody situation. He was very, very difficult. He's 17 now, and an exemplary student and citizen.

Kids often act better with people other than their parents. They know how to push their parents buttons, how to set one against the other, etcYou have a point. But with my neice and nephew they finish my parents everyother weekend.. been that way since they've been born.In my sisters defense I will say things could be better if her husband was more active in the raising of the children. Both my sister and her husband work full time and he leaves my sister to pretty much raise the children and do the hosuework, etc etc (he's an ass..again another story lol). So to her defense she does the best she can.

The important thing is that he doesn't undercut her vis-a-vis the kids. They have to agree on how they're going to do things, or they're screwed, and the kids will be insufferable.But it's interesting that animals can be trained without hitting them. Kids aren't a lower life form, or less intelligent.

I have to say, my mom did a really good job raising me and my older sister. We got spanked several times. We were never abused. We just knew our limits when it came to our mother and knew not to push them. We never lived in fear of her and still get along quite well.I see nothing wrong with spanking. 'Time outs' and such seem to do very little when it comes to discipline. "Go to your room!" (Where you have every video game console and a 27 inch TV. Oh, and a phone.)What I can't stand hearing are parents who chuckle when their two year old is being a real brat and saying something like, "I swear, he does whatever he wants. I can't control him." I glare over at them and think, "So he's the adult and you're the child, eh?"

"I can't control him."Those parents ought to read a book or two on parenting. But must 2-year-olds are pretty out of control.> I see nothing wrong with spanking. 'Time outs' and such seem to do very little when it comes to discipline. "Go to your room!" (Where you have every video game console and a 27 inch TV. Oh, and a phone.)Are you saying that spanking makes more sense than taking away the video game, TV, and phone? Or is it just easier? Those parents also need a clue.