Tired

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I'm just so tired of being everyone else's "savior" so to speak. I'm starting to feel so empty inside, it's almost like I've lost myself on the inside playing the hero for everyone else. Why can't someone be the hero for me once in a while? Who is the one that'll wipe my tears away and make me smile or laugh? I feel so lost at times but I can't show it to everyone else because I'm so buisy picking up the peices of their broken lives. Whenever someone needs money, good o'l Kat is there to bail them out. Whenever someone needs a shoulder to cry/lean on, good ol' Kat is the one that holds them up telling them everything will be alright. Everytime a friend has a problem they come to me expecting me to fix it and make it all better, but when I need them, where are they? When I'm feeling down do they help me out? No, they're too buisy for me when I'm the one having the problems. I'm so tired of giving and giving to family and friends and never getting anything inreturn. I'm not saying I want recognition or a pat on the back for good deeds, but I do want someone there for me when I need them. Someone who wont turn their back when I'm reaching out to them. I'm afraid that I can't take much more of this or I'll be gone for good, I feel lost inside my pitiful mind and I don't know what to do about it.

I know what you mean... If you have friends, they should help you and do their best to support you. That's the meaning of a friend isn't it?Don't start feeling empty inside. You mean a lot to all those people that you help.If you need to, take a break, go on a vacation. That should help at least somewhat... I'm sorry I'm not much more of a help than this...

No, it helps. I am taking a vacation in November, I'm going to Ohio to see one of my childhood friends. I've told my family it was just so I could spend time with her (and I really do want to spend time with her) but it's also because I really need a break from all of this... I'm basically running away for five days. What are friends? I thought I knew the answer to that but I'm starting to think they're just people who use you when it's convent for them, abuse you when you need them most. That’s what I'm starting to think friends are. True friendships seem like an illusion to me now

Don't worry, you'll know a true friend when one comes around. However, I know the pain you feel when one person you thought was a true friend doesn't give a damn all of a sudden...

Most people only find 3-4 true friends in their lifetime, ones that they can tell anything, and that'll help them to the best of their abilities. I know I've only found one, maybe two... and I also know I'm young (15). But trust me, I think that friendships are illusions or are things that I can't create, cause I haven't gained any new friends in 2 years, and none from schoolo in 5. But when you do get a new friend, it's a great feeling.

Hang in there! A true friend may be someone who you don't ever talk to, even. :smile:

I know what you mean ...I used to help people that came to this site ... I did the best I could and apparently I did help a lot of people, but then when I needed to talk to them they don't wanna listen ...Of course online is different than real life friends, but it's the best I got ...

Thank you, you guys are helping me more than you know.

Brat, I hope you never doubt the high esteem I hold you in. I know how you are. When I mention an issue in my life you absolutely jump up to try to come to my aid. It's your nature and it's fantastic and wonderful.Why on earth that anyone wouldn't do the same for you is beyond me.I may only be one of the net-people, but I'm here for you as best as I can.love always

unsuperevised, I did my best to help... So doesn't that mean I jumped to help her? Which I did?

I honestly didn't mean to belittle your reply. Please don't take it as such

You sound EXCATLY like Yuna the summoner girl in Final Fantasy X-2 who saved the world but after ward she wants to take a break from solving people's problems and everyone still depends on her and she's too nice to say no to everyone's simple problems they have.

Thanks old man, I appreciate it, and that means more to me than you'll ever know. Today I'm feeling a little better, not much, but it's a start ^_^

lends shoulder to Katie I agree with unsupervised. You always help out people, it's just how you are, and it's wonderful of you to do that! Your friends may not realize you need help, because you are ALWAYS the strong one.Angel, Unsupervised and I will take of you!

Hey sis, again we are alike in this. I have to ask tho, do you ask for help, or do you think people should know you need it or notice themselves. A lot of people when they are wrapped up in their own problems don't notice others, and, as im the same kinda person as you, i notice when people are down and see how i can help and support them, not everyone notices to start off with....do you know what i mean.I think the time away from it all will help to re-charge your batteries, and you're not running away, you're taking a break, being the support for a few people can be very hard, believe me i know, and it can drag you down too. Just make sure you do lots and lots of great things, just for you when you are away, be selfish for once, you deserve it. big big hugs

I guess you can say I've got alot of pride and it's hard for me to ask for help, but when I do it seems like it goes unnoticed because I'm the one who always gives the helping hand and I shouldn't have problems. When that happens I just smile and laugh it off and pretend everything is okay in Katie Land. And you're right, it's really not that I'm running away, I do need a break and that will be the perfect opportunity for me to do that. Don't get me wrong, making someone smile or making them feel better is something that makes me very happy, I just wished someone would do it for me once in a while. Thanks sis hugs

BIG huggles to Katie hey sweetie. I am pretty much the same as you when it comes to solving people problems. It's a stength and a weakness sometimes. I have a very small group of friends now, because as you said some people take advantage of a friendship and use you when needed but when you're in need they are no where to be found. I did some weeding and the friends I have now are awesome. Just remember you're an awesome awesome person! I love the conversations we have! You have such great insight on things! more hugs Cheer up sweetie, you're terrific =-D

Thank you all, I really appreciate it.Right now I am so angry I'm actually crying. My trip to Ohio has been cancled due to $$$$. My ticket was supposed to cost about $230 but no, nothing is ever that easy for me, it is instead going to cost me $390 - $420 to go to Ohio and I just cannot afford that. I was so excited because I thought I was actually going to be able to get out of this place for a little bit... I was wrong. I know this may seem pathetic but right now I'm looking at train tickets to some place (any place) because I really need to get out of here for a bit, I need some down time. I was really looking forward to it too, when I found out I just sat down and cried. I feel like I'm never going to get away from here. I really don't care who it pisses off in my family but I am going to take a vacation even if it's not to see my friend in Ohio. I'm going to go somewhere, I have to.

hugs I'm so sorry to hear the trip was cancelled, I was keeping my fingers crossed for you. Just take a deep breath and look at your options. Have you thought about taking a greyhound or something to Ohio? I know not exactly the most comfortable way to travel but atleast you'll get away. Let me know if there is anything I can do! Bear hug

im in exactly the same position. im sick of people walking all over me and expecting me to be there as their saviour but when i need them theyre far too busy galavanting in their wonderfully perfect lives, which i fixed, to even bother acknowledging me. ive stopped my friend using drugs, committing suicide a few times, anorexia, bulemia, drinking herself to an early grave, self harm, helped her through depression, been her sholder to cry on when her dads beaten her up and when she was raped and the usual relationship crisies but when it comes down to it wheres she when i need her? shes too wrapped up in her perfect life to care so it turns out now that IVE been raped, IM the one abusing drugs, IM the one self harming, IM the one contemplating suicide, and wheres she while all this is going on!? so yeah, i can relate and i know how frustrating it is. feel free to pm me if you need to talk =)

You must be rather cynical like me

I'm back....well at least for now, anyway....just so many people in this world get used.....ona my freinds, i gave him the support he needed during his time of pain, but when i need it all he says is to fuck the world, which is good advice but not support....my parents found out I cut myself, and now I don't even have that anymore....what is the point of searching, when what we're searching for can never be found?