Alright, I have a problem with being comfortable when meeting new people or being out.It's like I hate going out by myself, whether it's to the mall or movies. I always feel like people are looking at me or think I'm weird or something being by myself. So I always go out with people. Then I have a hard time talking to people that I don't know. I can't look them in the eye, so I'm looking at something else or the ground. Then I start talking in a low voice & people often ask me to repeat because I start talking too fast or low.. I really don't know how to act. I always get a weird vibe when I look at someone talking face to face, so that's why I can't look them in the eye. Last week was the worse, I went with a friend & I stayed at his house & had dinner with his family. It was my first time meeting them so I was on edge & nervous the whole time, all I did was look at my plate. Then I hate it when the family asks me questions.. I just feel dumb after I answer them.. Like I said something stupid or whatever. Plus I had a job interview today & this will be my first time working. I have to work at a restraunt so I'm really nervous,given the fact that I will have to talk & greet people I don't know 24/7!! :confused:
Shyness & being nervous issues! Help.
I can relate to all that. The main way to deal with it is to push yourself through it, and gradually gain experience. The more experience of people you get, the more relaxed you'll be and the easier it will become.
BTW I'm glad you're doing things, going out and getting a job and moving ahead.
Ineligible got it right, you have to push yourself through it. it seems to me you know what you don't like about yourself? for one, i can relate to the whole mumbling / not talking clear or loud enough for people to hear. it annoys me! so i try as hard as i can to talk loud and clear. sometimes i feel bad because i might come across as rude and more outgoing than i feel i am. but than i realise those thoughts are ludicrous. do you want people to hear you in conversation? than speak loud and clearly!
do you want to be able to socialise like other people? than force yourself to make and maintain eye contact.
you'll have so many positive experiences doing this, you'll love it.
but you have to be committed. you have a lot to gain, and nothing to lose. do it mate
you're job allows you to have LOTS of practice, it's great. try to speak loud and clear to customers, maintain eye contact, smile and make a joke find the nice customers to start this with, then do it with everyone
I was the same way, it'll get better with practice.
>>>"I just feel dumb after I answer them.. Like I said something stupid or whatever."
Have you ever listened to supposedly educated professional people who have college degrees. Talk to them, and most are idiots, much less have any social grace. Besides, anything stupid you may or may not have said probably isn't half as bad as you've made it out to be in your mind. Furthermore, if this helps ya, generally people aren't listening to what your saying anyway, at least as far as casual conversation is concerned. Their generally to busy thinking about what they said or what they're going to say, then to pay much attention to you...sad but true.
>>>"I have to work at a restraunt so I'm really nervous,given the fact that I will have to talk & greet"
This is good it will help you get over this shyness and eventually make casual conversation less tramatic. As hard as it may be, take the first and most important step look people in the eye, it will put them at ease and in turn help put you at ease with them.
After mastering social interaction (lol), I now can't stand talking to people because most of them are idiots with little ability to grasp any concept or idea that is not their own. Except, of course, for the good people on this board, save a few....but I'm not saying who.
There is no punishment. There is no reward. There are only consequences.