Corrupt-a-Wish

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Okay, here's how the game goes, someone states their wish and the next person to post grants their wish but corrupts it somehow.
For example:
Poster 1: I wish for eternal life.
Poster 2: Granted but you are sentenced to life without parole.
Get it? Ok I'll start.
I wish I had a million dollars.

Granted, but the exchange rate has changed so now 1 dollar is worth a grain of sand.

I wish for cool hair.

Granted but if you go outside it will disinegrate.I wish for 70 hot virgins in eternal paradise.

They all weigh over 400lbs and their vaginas have disapeared in layer upon layer of fat.

I wish for a fridge full of the most delicious food ever!

Granted, but,They all have chastity belts with no keys and paradize is a tropical island with no power.I wish I a new Harley THAT DIDNT have to be tuned every time you changed altitude by 2000 feet.

Granted but you have no arms or legs so you can't ride it.

I wish I had a HDTV.

Granted, but it can only tune in the Home and Garden TV network.I want Martha Stewart.

Granted but now your arm is broken.I wish I could shoot lasers from my eyes.

Granted, but when ya looked down to line up for a piss, you burnt your dick off.I wish they would stop showing Sinefeild on tv

Granted but it is replaced with reruns of Full House.I wish I could fly.

Granted, but you can only fly when wearing short skirts and no underwear and the cold air has made your penis shrink.I wish I could jump over large buildings.

Granted.. you make wings from sticks, feathers and wax. you flew to close to the sun, and fall killing the entire cast of Full House, during a reunion show shooting.I wish I could get my SHO to run under 12 seconds in the quarter mile.

Granted but afterwards your legs break from running to fastI wish I could die

Granted, but it turns out the Catholics were right.I wish the terrorists would stop blowing stuff up.

Granted, But you stopped them before they could blow up George W. Bush

I wish the neighbors would stop pounding upstairs

Granted, but now they moved into your place and continuedI wish Steve and a few other people on here would die

Granted, but they are reincarnated as spiders, bite you, and kill you slowly and painfullyI wish i could get my paper done.

Granted but your dog eats itI wish my parents died tonight

(your really obbsessed with death arntcha!) Granted, but your blown up in the processI wish this whole world hunger thing would end.

Granted, but your blown up in the processThat would be a good thingAnyways...Granted, but now everyone's fatI wish the world would blow up