Boyfriend and my mom

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Hi everyone, I'm new and this is my first post. Okay, so I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 6 months now. It really sucks that my boyfriend seems to hate my mom, and my mom seems to dislike him. He says she had the problem first, but I tried telling him I thought she just had a bad first impression. My mom at first was saying, "He never says hi, he comes over and you guys just go and not say anything." He used to say, "I'm not going to go chase your mom around the house to say hi or bye", but he does greet her now. But it just really sucks that he always makes like mean comments about my mom. She's old-fashioned and thinks the guy should pay for his girl, and sometimes my boyfriend wouldn't pay for me and on occasions I'd pay for us both. She really disliked this and I think lost respect. What am I supposed to do, my mom loves my older sister's boyfriend because he's always really polite to her, greeting her saying Mrs.___ and everything. How do I tell my boyfriend how to act more... polite towards my mom? I hate when he makes comments like, "She needs to get over it". I love my boyfriend and he really is a super sweet guy, but I think that maybe he just wasn't taught how to be mannerly or something. I don't want to sound rude or anything. Please help =]

firstly, i wouldnt date a guy that rude to my parents

secondly, no guy i have ever been with let me pay, even if i really want to. occasionly they would let me go in on halves, but never made me pay for both of us. Anywhere.
Its not really old fashioned thinking.

Well the thing my mom doesn't understand is that he doesn't have the money right now to spend 20 bucks on us to go out and go to some movie. And he has made it up to me a lot of the times. It's just that he dislikes her because he thinks she's rude to him. I think a lot of times my mom might say things when she doesn't understand what's going on and he'll think shes trying to be rude. They misunderstand each other I guess. Oh well, I think I'm alone on this

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are you serious? My parents needed to know every guy i was dating, and it was only right they are polite and say hello.

"Well the thing my mom doesn't understand is that he doesn't have the money right now to spend 20 bucks on us to go out and go to some movie"Hope this isn't an insight to the future . Bail on him if you get the chance...

Yup. Better find a rich guy. Everyone knows that girls can't take care of themselves.

he needs to realise that you need some peace and order with your family. treating people with respect is such a basic quality, and your bf should definately show this trait, especially to your parents!honestly how hard is it to say "good morning mrs___, how are you today? it is nice weather, we are going to the beach, have a lovely day"even if it is just all fake at first, they may become more receptive of each other.this will take effort, but not much at all. i'd very VERY concerned if my partner was not willing to make my house-hold more liveable by stopping their rude ways.

I think you should talk to your gf about his respect and stuff. Connections with a parent is always the best thing. When I first started with my bf and he went to meet my parents he put on the works. Flowers and everything. Like he was her son in law or something. But my mom loves him. So I think he should work on that. Respecting any adult alone is important.

Lol we are like 15. He's getting a job though. But thanks for your replies. I do wish he'd go out of the way to make a better impression though.

he doesn't need to have money to have basic manners!I agree with java i wouldn't be with someone who was rude to my parents. He should show a little respect for your mom, no matter how she sees things.

ja i have had freinds with parnets that absolutely hated me... i was still completely nice to them... hello mrs so and so how are you mr so and so... nice day isent mr so and so... and just absicly threw myself at the mercy of the court... anyway... all u can do with parents...

Its rude when someone comes into YOUR house and doesnt have the courtesy to say hi... or just walk by you. My mom hated my boyfriends because they wouldnt say a word to her .. I see where she's coming from.. my brother brings home girls who do that and its such a bad impression..

I would never date a guy who isnt willing to pay for dinner and such.. I dont mind paying for both .. i would never do dutch though.. cheap cheap cheap!

I agree with unforgetto. Manners are imperitive to have the right to exist...to exist in my presence anyway. I mean come on its just not cricket to lack manners. And I am surprised he makes you pay...I tend to always insist on myself paying...guess it makes me feel like more of a man or something. It sounds to me like the guy lacks...culture...like civilisation has not found its way into his soul...or something.

I tend to always insist on myself paying...guess it makes me feel like more of a man or something.Interesting. What if you're on the dole, but you're dating a woman who has a good job?If you live together, does the woman get to pay for anything?

Well Hopefully I wont ever be on the dole. And of course a women I lived with would pay for stuff. Your taking my words to extremes.

It just that the idea of chivalry applied in such a way that the guy always pays for everything on a date is interesting. I wonder how that tradition evolved.I was with someone for a while who was making a lot more money than I was (and I was doing OK). We both just randomly paid for things. No one kept score.

In reply to:I wonder how that tradition evolved.It evolved in the times when men would start in the workforce at an early age, while most women didn't work at all and lived with their parents until they were married, with little or no money.

I meant that as rhetorical sarcasm. It evolved because women had no financial resources (the way things were "supposed to be"), as you said. It's a bit condescending toward women that the idea that women are weak little things to pity, like a puppy, still obtains.I guess it gives men something to hang onto as they evolve toward the role of excess baggage.

In reply to:Throughout Earth's evolution the male had to always provide for the family. Trace it back to the cavemen, the men hunted and brought the grub.That is a myth.In reply to:If a woman holds a good job, while the guy is a loser and is sitting at home jacking off, then she shouldn't be with him in the first place.You are a troglodyte. People justified slavery using that kind of "logic".In reply to:It's irrational, and you rarely see this sort of behavior from normal people.Were you raised by baboons?