Now, don't say I told you so all at once.

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As many of you know I got engaged (sort of) to my boyfriend Adam, and we had only been dating about..eh 2 or 3 months but i had known him since i was ten. Lately, I met this guy named Greg in my Geophysics class and he is as much of a science nerd as me and we can talk about so much. He is truly a very fascinating man, and he asked me to go to lunch with I'm to try to get thru our notes together for In upcoming test. I say yes (its just lunch not a date). Well, at a 2 hr lunch we only spend about Min on the notes. See, my thinking is its not wrong to have a friend who is also a devilishly charming man (think Adrian Brody mixed with Ewan McGregor) So, while my relationship with Greg is growing, mine relationship with Adam is slowing down.We've been fighting over the most moronic things (what kind of oil to put in cars and such) and it just seems so stupid to me! So, when he found out i was having lunch with Greg he completely freaked out saying crap like i was sleeping around behind his back. I didn't want to leave Adam at this point but then: "You're going where with my uncle ALL of January?!" "You were there when he asked, why are you freaking out now?" And it developed into an argument how as "future wife" i was supposed to apparently not travel but stay at home (have a job of course) and be a baby making machine. Again, in the beginning of our relationship i made it clear i dont plan on EVER having kids. He planned out the rest of my life with out my knowing. To make things worse, Greg signed up for the expedition to Antarctica. Adam wont go cause he has Cryophobia and frigophoba (fear of ice and cold)Do i forget about Adam, stay and work things out, or go with Greg and see what happens.

You are not ready to make a commitment to anyone. Not even close. Give the "engagement" thing a rest.

Thats what i was afraid of. what do i do now? "Sorry, but i suddenly realized, im making a mistake, heres your ring." while i pick up my suitcases and leave?

Told ya so!! Told ya so!! Told ya so!! Told ya so!! Told ya so!! Told ya so!! Told ya so!! Told ya so!! Actually I never said anything bad about your "engagement". I would say, from my limited experience, its just the temptation and fascination of the devilishly charming new guy.

you forgot the devilishly charming part

Is that better?

Much Oh dammit no ive gone and hijacked my own thread Now!What Am i suposed to doooooooooooooo I dont want to get married!!! I want to go out with greg on a real date. and get adam to shut up. (after all, im going to be sharing a cabin on a boat with greg for a month)

> I dont want to get married!

Yeah, we knew that a long time ago. The only solution is to lie to Adam and torture him, or break it off.

I hate being that girl though.You know, the one that leads guys on cause shes confused, then breaks up with them, then goes on resenting me forever.

If it was someone else on here asking that same question, what would you tell them?
If your ot ready to get married then dont. I was in a marriage that never should have been and let me tell you its the worst fucking thing there is.
If you are not ready for that then you are not ready, there is nothing you can do about it but live a lie with adam and be miserable, or explain to him that you were mistaken before, that it happened to fast to early and the fact you knew each other since you were ten doesnt mean shit. That was friends, now its a new level. A completely different type of level. Give him back his ring, start over. But Id wait a bit before you start fucking around with Greggy, do it too soon and adam is going to get all batshit and think you dumped him for greg instead of it being that you are not sure he is the one.
And maybe, thats really what your doing?
I mean if you dont want ot be with adam, do you want to be with anyone?
think about it all and just explain it to adam but be truthful.
then, later, on the boat, rape greg.

Thanks Steve and grvtykllr (sorry i dont know your name) I think tonight at dinner I'm going to tell him. I really do love Adam, but I cant imagine spending the rest of my life with him on any level. I just dont want to hurt him. I just want to be married once, i dont want to be one of those women in their fifties making jokes about #3 or 4. He'll be over in about 10-15min, i have till then to figure out what the hell I'm going to say.

good luck, and you can always tell him Monday or Tuesday if you cant get it figured out tonight.
the sooner the better though.

i think its one of those things if you dont do it now, you never will.

Keep us informed, and good luck. I'm sure you're probably already doing it now, but still. Good luck.

yep, its done and taken care of. He understands, and isnt mad at all. Phew. i did it as nicely as possible, explaining that i only wanted to be married once and that i wasnt sure. I didnt want to go thru with anything i wasnt completely sure about, ect. he understands, all is well. He wouldnt let me give the ring back, though.

**Woah i joined late on this one.
Hon i can't beleive how well he has taken it. :blush: but im glad you told him how you felt, you totally did the right thing.......however hard it was to do it \*hugs\* **

I couldnt even look at him, i had to stair down at my hands.

In reply to: Devilishly Charming Why, I don't quite know how to take that.

oh shit! are you the same greg?????? YAY

Well don't I feel popular?