Could I be gay or bi or wtf

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Ok so here is the story. I am a 20 year old male about to be 21. I am going through college and have never really thought about being homosexual. I thought about it briefly in high school but then I got into a long term relationship and it went away. I have always been attracted to girls. I played on a basketball team and was never attracted to the guys. I've had several girlfriends and have no problem doing sexual things with them. I never have a problem with an erection, I enjoy what we do, etc. About a month ago I had this dream that I was gay and that I was doing sexual things with another guy and I woke up being like wtf was that? After that I have been tormenting myself. I can tell if a guy is attractive or not, but I never find myself having an erection around guys or anything like that. A girl can hug me and I get an erection. Another thing that freaks me out is that I like blowjob porn, not gay porn but just a girl giving a blow job and I like cumshot porn and stuff. I probably sound like an uneducated asshole. I'm attracted to girls and sometime I'm nervous about going down on them but once I do I love it. I enjoy having sex with my girlfriend. I have had several long term relationships and all of the girls say that I don't care about them when I do. I like to hang out with my guy friends alot but I'm not in anyway attracted to any of them, we just have fun and drink beer and shit...we are college kids. I feel like maybe looking at porn has made me comfortable at seeing a penis or something? Anyone? I probaly just wrote a huge mess lol.

Hi GoodGravy12, welcome to A2A. Your post isn't a mess, and it is neither uneducated nor assholish.I think you're a perfectly normal heterosexual. I think all of us are bi very deep down, but then parts of it are suppressed by upper parts of the brain. Some bits may make their way to the surface in dreams, but I don't think that has any clear meaning. I don't think your dream means that you're really gay. Some dreams, indeed, just cover what we fear, not what we are.

Well ever since this dream I have been questioning EVERYTHING. If I see a good looking guy I like ask myself 239234 times if I am attracted to him and I am sure in some way shape or form I am but I don't consider doing sexual things to him, I never have and it never really entered my head until recently. I tend to be an over-analyzer. This will sound weird but sometimes I don't like how the vagina looks. I feel like I am going to be disgusted by it but when I am with a girl and hormones are raging I love it. Maybe I've watched too much porn? This has been invading my thoughts alot lately and this is kind of my outlet. I very much agree with the kinsey scale. I find women attractive but there are guys that I can find attractive also but nothing like a woman and it develops into a friendship and nothing sexual nor do I have desire. I feel like I make myself think about it so much that I convince myself it is a desire and then I become depressed. Mess #2 lol.

and another thought just came to my head, alot of my relationships end really fast. Like I will be extremely attracted to the girl and we will do things sexually and I like them but afterwards I tend to feel akward and don't like her as much. That happened more when I was younger and I have been in relationships that have lasted for 3 and now a 1 year.

couple of things:

First of all, I too believe your dreams mean nothing. Dreams are mostly about your brain processing random bits of information while you're asleep. You might just have easily dreamt you were conducting the Provo Symphony Orchestra using a blender for a baton. That wouldn't mean you were a conductor...or Martha Stewart. I think we can safely say you don't need to worry about the dream.

As for acknowledging that other guys are attractive...I think you are saying what any other guy would say if they are being honest. Attractive people are...attractive. I have to admit that if I'm in a room full of guys looking for potential good buddies, I would be attracted to the attractive guys. Doesn't make me gay. I think it's quite the self-assured, confident thing to be able to say that Christian Bale and my friend Adam are good looking men.

I guess where I really freak myself out is that I like hanging with the guys more than just a girl. I enjoy having my guy friends aroudn because we can relate or more things rather than talking about girly things. Is that just being young? I am not in any way attracted to my guy friends but I enjoy having them around. When I am first meeting a girl I love being around her but that fades with time. When I hang out with my guy friends we usually end up trying to get girls or talking about them. That whole scene just seems more fun to me. Am I overanalyzing this?

You might be overanalyzing it. Guy friends are important. It's good that you recognize that. Most blokes don't. There is a lot you get from close buds that you can't get from a new girlfriend. They know you well so you can be yourself around them. If you have that, that's great...and rare. Don't worry about it. Maybe that could even be a criteria for dating a girl. Do I like her well enough to hang out with her instead of the bud? I think at some point that will happen.

Honestly bud I don't think you're gay at all. All the feelings and the dream you had are completely normal. Sounds like you enjoy females and enjoy sex with them. Most guys can tell if another guy is attractive, just most men will not admit it. I mean think about it, a female can find another female attractive, and they're not all lebians.. right?I think you are just worrying yourself over nothing. Take a deep breathe and breath hehe.

Most guys are a lot more comfortable with guy friends, because they understand each other more easily. Girls are a different species and you have to work a lot harder to keep on their good side.

Thanks for all your help guys. I feel pretty comfortable in my attraction to women but I have one last question. I read about that kinsey scale and would I be right in saying that I could be drawn or attracted to another male and not be gay? For instance when I watch movies I find myself predominately watching the male actors but I always thought it was because I could relate to them and put myself in their shoes. It isn't like I'm looking at them thinking what I would do to them, that never crossed my mind until I started over-analyzing myself. I just know that they are good looking and a cool character. What do you think? My last question is if I was gay, would sex with females disinterest me completely? Are gay guys just not interested in women or what? I have been known to worry about things too much to the point that I convince myself that I am that kind of person. Freaking out here.

Ok so in this horrible night of confusion I got on the net and looked at some pictures of gay men doing things to each other. I looked at them for about 5 minutes and I don't think that I was aroused. It was different and weird to me. My hands were sweating but that was probably because I was looking at gay porn. I mostly saw just a bunch of guys and their wangs and other guys doing stuff to them. I didn't get an erection. I can watch lesbian porn and get an erection. This probably sounds very immature and I am tearing myself apart. Lol, I feel so ridiculous. You wouldn't know I was 20 years old I feel like a kid.

So there, it's settled...right?

I dunno, probably had some mental block on that I wasn't going to like it because I don't want to. I know I am probably wearing out my welcome here with my crazy fears and I apologize for that. This just seems like my only outlet at this point.

Not wearing out your welcome at all, and there may well be other people reading who have similar fears.People right up at the gay end of the Kinsey scale aren't attracted to women at all.Do you tend to lack self-confidence generally? Do you tend to worry about things?

Yes, I am not confident at all and I worry alllllll the time. I really am attracted to women but I do get annoyed with girly girls. The worry that I have and I guess I have probably been having it for a while now that I think about it I just overlook it is that maybe I do find guys attractive and I have just overlooked it. I mean could a male possibly be turned on by another male even though he is straight? I guess where I completely stand in my sexuality at this point is that I like women, I haven't found one that stimulates me emotionally yet, I usually end up getting annoyed. I am attracted to women physically and have no problem performing sexually. I can also tell if a male is attractive and just recently am possibly turned on by them? I honestly don't know. When I hang out with guys that are attractive I might feel intimidated by them being attractive but I don't think of things sexually with males. I have always had a fascination with blow jobs but I thought it was just because I thought women looked so sexy doing it. Do I sound weird to you all? Just trying to get everything out there so that you can better help me analyze myself =/

Mostly all guys can tell whether or not another guy is attractive. The whole being intimidated by them is probably just the whole male competition thing. You think he looks better than you and that he can get more girls than you, which most guys would find intimidating.

I think your lack of self-confidence and your worrying are making this a much more difficult issue than for most people. Most guys would think "Hmm, that guy is good-looking" and either think no more about it and assume it was natural for them to think that, or perhaps resolve not to let anyone know they thought that.In reply to:I mean could a male possibly be turned on by another male even though he is straight?Well many guys have compared sizes or something like that, getting hard in the process, and then gone on to be ordinary straight guys. And the Navy and prisons know that if you have a lot of straight guys with no women for a long time, they start deciding other guys can be stimulating.

You sound like a perfectly heterosexual 20 year old male. Ask yourself the following. Do you like women? Do you like having sex with women? Do you like going down on women?
If you answered yes, than you're a heterosexual. My (gay) friends can't stand the thought. I'm sure you're completely normal, just ocd-ing.