Well this girl i have feelings for said she wants to be alone right now to get her shit straight. Theres a long story behind this, blah blah blah, neways. ok so i know she likes me thats not the problem. What i am asking is do you think in a situation where the girl needs time to figure her shit out that i should stay close to her. O btw we are very close and talk all the time. do u think i should continue with this, or distance myself. i think if i stay close it will feel like we are together and she will think she never has to make up her mind what to do. if i distance mself she will miss me and want me back. Does this make sense?
I think Helms hit the nail of the head.
I hate to say it, but it sounds like the next thing she'll say'll be the standard Seinfeld line, "It's not you. It's me."
Best of luck and I hope I'm not right.
There is no punishment. There is no reward. There are only consequences.
Sorry bub, I have to agree with Helms.
<span style="color: green">"Don't be a Dork! Wrap your Pork!" </span><br /><br />
In any other situation i would agree with you, but this is a little different. its a very very long story. we dated for a while, i broke up with her, but i have feelings for her again. She constantly flirts with me, calls me all the pet names she did when we dated. Calls me all the time, writes me emails, etc etc. Everything points to her liking me again. U would just have to be in the situation to understand. What i am asking is would it be best to me to play distant, or stay close to her?
Even with the information you have given, she's still just sugar coating it for you.
I had a 4 hour conversation with a girl the other day about "girlspeak" and this is one of the most popular ones. It doesn't matter how she acts or what she does - she's just plain not interested in you in that way.
The choices are:
1) She just wants to be your friend
2) She realises you want her, and so also realises that she has you wrapped round her little finger - and so as long as your hopes are high, she can manipulate you.
Sorry buddy. Thing is, and I'm getting a reputation for being wise in these matters - no matter what we say and warn you, it's not gonna make an ounce of difference to what you end up doing. This post, therefore, is merely for "I told you so" purposes.
bah i hate you all. it makes sense ill admit it. i just dont understand why they act that way then. she treats me like her bf but apparently wants to be alone and figure things out. you see she was dating a guy, then i dated her, then i broke up with her, then i heard she went back with him. now when i told her how i feel she just said she wants to be alone. it really doesnt make to much sense to me. to be honest i dont even know what i wanna do. that is why i was kinda happy when she said she wanted to be alone. because now it allows me to figure out what i want to do, and i just figure if its gonna happen it will happen on its own
Edit* o and when i told her i had feelings for her. a week latr i said, look just tell me if im wasting my time. should i just move on or what? and thats when she said she just wants to be alone and figure things out, then she said its up to me if i want to move on or not. so isnt there a possiblility that she meant it exactly how she said it?
Translation to gender-neutral talk: "If it makes you happy, I don't mind if you stay hung up on me. I find it kind of flattering. Who knows, maybe some day I'll like you 'that way' again, but don't hold your breath."
In other words, don't take what she said literally. It would be healthier and more constructive if you'd move on. Are you saying that if a hot prospect presented herself now, you'd tell her that you're not interested?
<i>Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.</i> -- MLK
no if someone came along id jump on that in a heart beat (no pun intended). thats why im so confused. i know what you guys are saying though. i just never thought of her like that cuz shes always the type of person, even with stuff like this, to be blatently honest. she would say i dont like you. so i dont know
Ok man...look I hate to tell ya but their right. This has happend to many people(including myself), it's the way girls function, I guess...they don't wanna hurt your feelings(most of em). So they'll tell you something like "they need some time" or something like that, but basicly they mean "sorry not interested". There is a small chance that she's interested, but don't count on it. My suggestion...just be her friend...keep some distance...maybe date someone else. Don't make her think your obsessed with you, because it will drive her(further) away, but don't stop communicating with her either, because it will make her think you don't like her anymore.
Han:"You are a fool!"
Ben:"Who is the greater fool? The fool that leads the way, or the fool that follows him?"
yea im not obsessing over her at all. i just talk to her when i see her. i let her call and text me. ill do the occasional email. im trying not to get too attached