Get the wife to open to new ideas

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That's why I said, have HER pick out the toy.

that is the thing that has the beads in it and about 7 different things it can do right?

its got beads IN it and shit hanging off it. she would never of picked it out herself, it was reccomended to me by a girl I know, so I went shopping one day, bought it and wrapped it up and that night over some drinks by a fire and us alone I gave it to her. she was more than willing to try it out and let me watch and help.

there is another problem there lol she wont do anything herself or so she tells me and i have never seen her do anything herself.

Would that approach work for any ladies here? yup. worked like a charm

If you don't mind my asking, and if you do you certainly don't have to answer, but what level of kink are you trying to achieve with her? I mean are we talking full dungeon or simply doing her doggy style once in a while.Last question, do you know or think her problem is embarrassment or moral objections or simply lack of interest?Whatever it is it sounds like it's going to take some time and only be done in baby steps.

Well, sounds to me like you're trying too hard. It's not like you can bring a new porno home and have her dangling from the ceiling fan before the movies over. You need to approach it differently and take it slow. She may have some insecurities about getting naughty while doing the deed. Maybe you could suggest that the two of you go to a sex shop, just to look around. Look at the different toys (let her choose one if she wants); check out the outfits, but don't try and force one on her. Go to the lotions, pick one up and whisper in her ear about all the naughty things you'd like to do to her... loosen up and have fun. Don't make her feel like she has to put on a leather skirt and beat you with a whip to have fun in the sack with her, take your time and go slow. One night while you're in the mood, tell her she's in control of what you guys do, let her have the reins. You're not going to turn her into a kink-freak over night hon, it's going to take time and patience.

not trying to turn her into a kink freak lol we got lotions and stuff it all worked one time but now it does not work for anything.

leaving her in control wont go anywhere she always wants me to start it and do things to her, then i bring up new things to try just little not real bad things and she is never interested in it. not sure i am ever gonna win this battle lol.

gonna keep trying i like all the ideas posted here make me think more about it and some other things i can do.

Start with a sensual massage. It can be as subtle as you want it to be. Try using a lube that warms up during use. That's something you can do tonight.

"my woman didnt know what made me fucking insane till she tired it out after I told her she was in charge, fuck I didnt know it made me insane till she did it. I found it disgusting, so when other girls asked I said no, she didnt ask she just did it and I found Im into some shit I previously found disgusting" I'm intrigued...