if anyone here has attempted to commit suicide before.. im interested to know what the effects on you were, both physical, from the suicide itself, or mental, your relationships with your friends/family. did they treat you different after?
I had no physical effects cos I didn't choose a method that would (drowning).
However, I am still deeply disturbed by what I tried to do (it's been 15 months now).
For 3 months after it happened, I was scrutinised very carefully by my mother, making sure I didn't try anything else. I also found myself being treated like a baby, being constantly asked if I was ok or if I needed anything.
But like I say, I am still deeply disturbed, and still have recurring thoughts about trying again
In reply to:yea.
your relationships with your friends/family. did they treat you different after?
In reply to:physical.. mark
what the effects on you were, both physical, from the suicide itself, or mental
mental.. changes with my mind set.
cutting my wrists and ankles along with overdosing on pills back in 1999, i ended up in a mental hospital for 3 weeks, wasn't a pleasant experience having my stomach pumped and letting the deep wounds heal, and the thing abou suicide is once you go through with it/attempting it (taking a bunch of pills) all of a sudden you wish you hadn't
~*~Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.~*~
Physical, I bare no scars, ( slit wrists multiple times ). I have had like 6+ attempts ( none worked obviously )
Mental, I relize I can end my life at any given time. It made me mentally stronger. Able to endure more.
Effects on my family, They don't have a clue
Friends, I don't think they really know either.
Physical: scars on hands and arms
( i tried multiple times, haven't been sucessful - cutting n choking self )
Mental: I relize I can end my life at any given time.i learn how it felt to go to hell and back .
Effects on my family: the ones that know it hit them hard, they were mostly in shock
Friends:the ones that know it hit them hard, they were mostly in shock
Sweet Angel From Heaven * smiles*
Physical - no scars (tried an o/d)
Mental - Still down at times, and I know that sometimes all it takes is a small set back to make me think about trying again.
Friends - Only two non-family members know what I did, and they both seem to care more than my family.
I tried committing suicide in March after getting into a fight with my mother. I remember my mother coming into my hospital room and asking why I wasn't dead yet. Needless to say, I don't talk with her anymore. One person who has been supportive in all of this is my bf. He's been by me through the highs and the lows, and sometimes, a little nothing with trigger a low point for me and I would think about doing it again. I am still on a high level of anti psycotics and depressents, but some days are worse than other would be for a person who doesn't have the type of problem that I have. I know that sometimes, I can just see myself doing it again, but I try hard not to even bring myself to do it.
What a bitch your mother must be! Sorry about the language, but that is really shocking. At any rate, it makes it easy to be a better person than your mother.
Thank you for the reply. I know that an honest voice is better than no voie at all, and I thank you for telling me that. I don't communicate with her anymore, simply because of that comment. I realize now that she doesn't care all that much for me and that I am now around people who truly care for me.
wat's it like to be to hell and back?
its not good DON'T GO THERE
Sweet Angel From Heaven * smiles*
Please get help...it does not go away. I lived with someone who was depressed for many years...I just thought it was how he was..I met him that way. He is gone 3 years now and I live in constant pain...don't do that to your family Please!!!
Going to sound weird but i was mad at myself when i woke up (tried to OD)
Sat and thought that if i couldn't even kill myself right why bother.
It's been months now and i really can't say i regret what i tried to do.
Right now i feel as though i'm living for others and not myself...
Anyway i guess it had a negative affect on me then...
A pill to make you numb. A pill to make you dumb.
A pill to make you anybody else.
I tried to over dose on pills once... No one in my family knew what happened, and still is kept a secret. All that happened really is I passed out for a few hours, and woke up with my heart racing and a huge headache. No one knows about this but me... and now all who have read this.... The long term effects... some pain killers won't work with my body, and make my heart race, and some antibiotics I'm immune to.
~But Jesus Told Me It Was FREE!~
wow i'm really surprised all these people have tried to commit sucide... i knew this one kid who tried it but he was really fucked up... you think there are more than one person i know whos tried it but dont wanna say?
I'm a Pimp, BITCH, dont be shy, show me dem big tits...
with yo lip stick, smeared all ova my big dick
Very likely, HeHe.
I don't mean to come across as an inconsiderate jerk, but I think for a lot of people it's just an attention seeking
exercise - that's why you're all still able to post here.
If one really wants to do it they won't live to tell about it. Yeah I've considered it a different points in my life, but I wouldn't bother doing it unless it was for real.
Go read a suicide note, Not one of them say that they are doing this because they want to, Suicide is always a last effort to escape, or an attempt to be happy...Heres a real suicide note that proves it isn't just a way to "get attention"
In the blink of an eye everything can go from Fine to Death is the only way out
By the time you read this, i will have ended my life. For the past 3 days, i have been a fugitive from justice, following events of nightmarish proportions. The main thing is that i injured an innocent police officer, who did nothing wrong.
Here's how it happened: my neighbor Rick and i had met up a couple of times to have a beer. i had known he was insane, as he told me he was on disability for it. Well being a Native American by one half, he gets a bit off his rocker more so when he drinks. Also, on Tuesday, the day of the events, we did partake of some marijuana. All of this seemed to change him into a mean crazy bastard. I told him i was going to go home and sleep, and he demanded 2 more beers. I told him, ok. Wait out here. He tried to push his way into my apartment. I told him as best i could, that i never have visitors, but he wasn't listening. I think we was trying to take advantage of me or something. I said if he comes in he's going to find out im the sort of guy who stands up for his property. In my blind drunken stupor i grabbed my knife, and poked him with it, never intending to cause damage, just to show i meant business. He yelped and walked off.
Next thing i know , i hear many sirens, and the neighborhood is swarming with police and ambulances. My adrenaline kicked in, and i was for some reason certain that I would end up getting screwed. And also i don't live the cleanest lifestyle anyways, so it'd be my word against his, and then some. So i snapped. I felt nothing but fear. It was either run far away or die trying. So i head out the door, turn the corner, and im face to face with a scary man in a black uniform (Officer Jode Derickson[Hendrickson?]) I acted out of pure insanity, and drunkenness.. I saw nothing as i squeezed the trigger, except the fence i jumped over. I hear yells of pain, and heard 3 or more shots whizz by me, some hitting the fence. I run as fast as i could, through yard, over fences..
I slowed down to a quick pace, and took off my outer shirt. That is how i managed to elude the 50 or more officers, including SWAT, K-9, and helicopters. I wish they had shot me dead that day. The last 3 days have been pure hell, filled with the reality that i might never see or hear from any of my friends and family. Ever. I hid in dumpsters and behind buildings and on side streets.
I am splitting this message into 2 parts, as i may die before i finish. I am able to write these final words because i managed to get in my apt early this morning. And this is where i shall rest in peace.
There are many reasons why i must kill myself, rather than face hard labor in prison, or go on the run.
I am too weak to make it in prison, and have too many mental problems. They would eat me alive in there. I would die of AIDS quickly and painfuly. Also it would be hell because of my sleeping disorders, which have ruined my life many times over (ARMY, Job Corps, Roommates) I am a loner by default and behind bars one is constantly being harassed by predators. Suicide in prison is much too painful and ineffective.
I can not go on the run, because i am a hesitant coward when it comes to crime. For the last 3 days i needed a car to leave town, but let multiple opportunities pass,. With so much fear. I could not pay my rent, though i prepared myself to do crimes. I backed out at the last moment every time.
Survival of the fittest, and I am a weak person, doomed to fail.
I have tried my very hardest to make it in this life. Oh how i have tried.
And now that it comes to having to prey on others to survive, i fail at that. I like to play like I don't have much empathy, but truth is i have too much. for some reason i give a damn about other people. And on that note i want to apologize to (Officer Jode Derickson[Hendrickson?]) for shooting him.
That is so f**ked up.. I don't deserve to walk the same planet as him. For the past 3 nights i could hear his agonized cries as i lay tossing and turning, sleepless in a cold dumpster, like the piece of garbage that I am.
For four years the man has served the tucson police department, and in a routine investigation, the man gets shot by a lowlife psychotic. For no reason other than he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I wish he had made his target when he returned fire Tuesday. I honestly do, because, truthfully, i'm nearly too cowardly to take my own life. That is, until today. There is nothing that can end my resolve to end this, and end it now.
"A lifetime of fucking up, fixed in the blink of an eye." - Nine Inch Nails.
All i've ever done in this life is fuck up. And recently, i was damn near about to be evicted, and i thought things couldn't get any worse. And then i trusted another human being (neighbor Rick).. And from that, one bullet fucked my whole life up. Well, one bullet is all it takes to make it right again.
I had alot of mental problems, many of which kept me indoors for days at a time, and sleepless for days at a time. I was a nervous wreck.
Anyways, it's been a good run, and i am done with this piece of shit planet. I apologize in advance fir the grief this will cause my loved ones, but would you rather have me exist only to be a large black man's sex toy in prison? Or to steal cars and do bad things to "good" people, as a fugitive?
I have/had no other choice. This is the end for me, my time to finally rest in peace. I love you all more than words can express.
-Resting in Peace
Adam Christopher Fulton
A pill to make you numb. A pill to make you dumb.
A pill to make you anybody else.
You're right, for a lot of people it is just an attention seeking thing and they don't really mean to commit suicide. And then there are the few that don't mean to get attention and that are really serious about suicide. And people tell other people about it because they have no one to talk to.
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