Parents Driving Me Nuts

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I'm sorry, but your father's confiding in you his marital problems is not "submission"; at best it's passive agression. It may not be easy for you to see, but it's not at all good for you to be dragged into your parents' personal issues.In describing your day, it sounds like you're completely solitary. Who do you lean for support, off the computer, in real life? Do you hang out with friends?Your first priority needs to be yourself and your health. You need to get some help for your depression. Does your father have anything to say about the matter? If neither parent will help, then you need to talk to a school counselor, trusted adult, or social services. You have to do something to deal with it.

For some reason, I just assume that everyone is female like me. It helps me relate to them, or something.Do THEY get treated for their depression then? I mean, I don't personally know your mom, so I don't know how she would respond... Maybe she doesn't want you to get it... I mean, the fact that it's in your family kind of has an impact on how your mom feels about depression in general.

Depends. If myself or him are involved while she's around, normally.No, I did not mean that his confiding in me was submission, I mean he submits to her instead of fighting for what he believes in. If she tells him the moon is green, he would say 'OK', while I would go on to prove it isn't. No, it isn't nice at all.Nobody. I have youth group once in awhile, but it's very athletic and so nowadays I cannot because of my epididymitus. Doctor's orders. Other than that, no, I have no friends offline who are not related, and whom live in the same state as I. I used to, but they moved.I agree. Yes, he does, he says it has to be done, but is too much of a wuss to defy her and do it, and dosen't have time with business anyway. I know I do, but I can't bring myself to ask anyone else. I trusted in the person I trust most, and was ignored. How could someone I trust less do anything?As I mentioned, I do not believe she has depression. Infact, I am 99.9999999999% sure she does not. Stress fractures, sure, but not depression. There are many reasons, too many to type and too personal to type comfortably. First of all, they are grandmother/grandfather whom I live with. My molther is an alchoholic and my father, whom I have thnk God never met, is or was a druggie. My guess is the depression is on my grandfather's side. My grandfather's seems to be rather mild, and unsuicidal, but he still is not doing anything about it, most likely because we are completely medically uninsured. My mother's, whom is insured, is being treated, since she lives on her own.Thanks again for all the opinions and help, they really are helping, keep them coming please!

If you're letting your bitterness toward your mother get in the way of helping yourself, you are doing yourself no favor. There must be some social service that could help, even without insurance. Here is a list of mental health services by state. There must be some sort of help available, and you can get the ball rolling without involving your parents.[Since you said that you're "medically uninsured.", I'm assuming you're in the U.S.]

Chance, yes, I meant it's not hard to become a mother or father. Being a good parent, or even an average parent, is a very great deal indeed of hard work.

Yes, I am in the US. Thanks for the links.It's getting even worse. Now she's pulling antics like coming into my room at 7:20AM when I'm in bed and waking me up actually stacking every empty paper cup in my room and throwing all of them away. I also caught her going through my trash, stacking every freaking paper cup in there. When I confronted her about doing it early in the morning, I got chewed out.

This sound like classic obssessive-compulsive behaviour. It's treatable, but getting her to accept treatment is going to be the hard part.

My thoughts exactly. This would also have made another problem harder, thank goodness I already solved the disposal problem...

Well, that may also explain some of her other antics...

This is driving me nuts. The only way I can solve it is to either:

Lock my door at night. MAJOR balling out, likely attempts for further restriction.

Keep cups off my desk and stacked in the bin - something I SHOULD NOT have to do just to please her disease.

Insist she dosen't do it and hope it magically stops.

Go to bed earlier, thus waking up earlier than her and avoiding the problem, something I AGAIN shouldn't have to do.

What do you guys think?

BTW, it's gotten to the point where I pretty much ignore her when she insists on something I don't agree to. For instance, last night she said I would be going to bed early. Why? Who knows. I said "I don't know about that, I'll see." and chose for myself and she wasn't brave enough to contradict me. Maybe taking charge myself is the only way to make my life livable.

People with OCD often know they are being over-the-top, but they can't help it. Generally people living with someone with OCD have to fit in with it as best they can; though if you can take charge yourself sometimes without confrontation, as you described, that would be better for your self-esteem and confidence.

Well, she stopped that nonsense. Now shes into something else. I cannot shut my door at night, because 'shes afraid if there was a fire I wouldn't know and get out.' We all know thats a bull answer, and who the heck plans for a fire in advance???

But I decided to comprimise, and kept my door cracked open. Now she complains that it's not open wide enough. WHAT THE HECK??? WHY?! I masturbate at night, how am I supposed to with a wide open door?!

This is getting unlivable. Every day she thinks of some new torture to put me through... I amk going to lose it if this continues.

> who the heck plans for a fire in advance?

I hope everyone does. But closing your door actually makes things safer if there's a fire. It makes it harder for smoke from the hallway to get into your room. The idea is that you feel the closed door and it's warm, you climb out the window rather than run into the inferno.

Tell your mom that. If she doesn't want you to burn to a cinder in case of fire, she should let you keep the door closed.

I couldn't do that, the window is blocked by an air conditioner. Thanks for the thought though.And what I meant by that is this: do you wear a bullet proof vest everywhere incase theres a robbery?

No, but you're supposed to have a plan in case of a fire. I'm not kidding. I presume you'd push the air conditioner out of the window if the house was on fire and there was no other way out. It would beat being overcome by smoke or burning to death.> do you wear a bullet proof vest everywhere incase theres a robbery?Here's something to think about: It's a requirement practically everywhere that your house have smoke detectors. People wear condoms to keep from catching diseases. People lock their cars to keep them from getting stolen. But no bullet proof vest is needed, unless you're on the Mob's hit list.It would be more useful for your mom to think about things like that rather than how many times a week you masturbate.

I agree about the plan, but she takes so many things overboard its hard to know when shes being sensible.

In reply to:I hope everyone does. But closing your door actually makes things safer if there's a fire Don't forget windows! and anything that can let oxygen in. or something like that

That does not make sense. People need to breathe.@3DMapper: You need to tell her that you need to keep the door closed at night for your own safety. I personally wouldn't worry about fire when deciding to keep my bedroom door open or closed, but it is a rational concern. If your mom won't listen to that, then she's gone off the deep end.The only alternatives are to come to terms with your situation and not let it bother you, or keep complaining about it. What else can you do?

If the people are trapped inside, yes. If not, they have to close it! Fire drills are also helpful!I'm not sure if that was even on topic but hey!